August Moon
Part 18: Lament
©MMII T h r e a d s
He had arrived a day before the funeral. It was small and unceremonious. He had mourned deeply for his sister's loss, but now it was time for him to go. He felt that way, but he couldn't think of a plausible excuse to leave so soon without his family growing suspicious, and his father angry. So instead, Zoisite would stay, at least for another week. He would sit and have tea with his mother, talk and catch up with things happening in the duchy. He missed playing with his sisters too. He had three elder, and three younger, and a brother- the baby of the family who was being fostered in another holding. It wouldn't be as bad staying here as he remembered.
Surprisingly, Kunzite had been fine with Zoisite's absence. Zoisite had gone to his room in the late afternoon to find Kunzite on the shaded area of the balcony sipping a tall glass of tomato juice. Zoisite had told him the news of his family, and that he was needed there. Kunzite had been almost completely silent the entire time Zoisite had been there. In retrospect, it worried Zoisite. Kunzite had nodded and granted 10 days to go about his private business. As Zoisite had exited the balcony, he had thought he had heard Kunzite mutter "I'm no good"- but was not sure.
The ride had been two days long, the first plagued with torrential rain, the second; a scorching sun. The holding had changed very little from what Zoisite remembered when he had left for the capital six years earlier. The garden seemed a little smaller, or Zoisite had just grown.
His mother looked thinner, his father about the same, only gray streaked his blond beard now. His elder sisters all had husbands and the beginnings of families now. The eldest, Miranda was unable to come, but Gabriele, the second, had. Zdena was the third child- 11 month's Zoisite's senior. After Zoisite came, Constantine, then Amelia, and the youngest daughter, Fiona at age 12. His brother, the only Brunet with brown hair and eyes was 9. All of his sisters, including himself, were blond with green eyes and delicate features. Cain was the only child to resemble his mother.
He did love his family, thought at times, they could always seems so insistent of what he does with his life. When Zoisite was 14 Amelia, only 7 had told Zoisite he looked like a girl with his long curly hair and proceeded to chop it off with a sewing knife. Both Miranda and his father had pressured Zoisite to join the military, and in the end, he had. Though essentially handed the rank he held due to his lineage.
In general, family life had never been easy for Zoisite. Gabriele used to beat him up on a semi-regular basis until she had been betroved at age 17 and decided it were time to act like a lady. He and Constantine were almost identical, despite and age difference of almost 5 years. For Constantine, instead of taking it as insult that she looked like a boy, she turned it around and reminded Zoisite rather frequently that he looked like a girl. Once boys started paying attention to her, she had never bothered tormenting Zoisite again. She had a list of suitors a mile long, but Zoisite reveled in the fact that she had never been able to capture the eye of the prince, much to her dismay.
Zoisite had never known Fiona very well. She was born with a slight deformity in her foot, and had spent most of her time in seclusion reading textbooks. He did feel that they were on the same level- being the social rejects of the family at one time or another. Cain had still been baby-like when Zoisite had left. He didn't know him at all. From the praises his mother and father sang, Cain sounded like he would grow to be a fine man and warrior, and likely inherit the Brunet family holding when his father died.
It was family dysfunction at a whole new level. He wished he could have a family like Jadeite's- who was the eldest of three boys. He was the apple of his father's eye. Or Nephrite, who came from a family of five. He was also the eldest, but the four other children with sisters who fawned over their big brother constantly. The only family Zoisite knew very little about was ironically, Kunzite. Zoisite was almost certain Kunzite was the youngest. He had heard bits and piece from Kunzite, and eventually pieced together that he had three older brothers, but now all deceased. His mother and father were dead as well, and his family holding was in control of a distant uncle. The one rumor Zoisite was never able to shake was that Kunzite had a twin sister. Or at least he used to. Zoisite had confronted Kunzite on that one evening during training.
It was a night Zoisite rather not remember. In short, it would not be wise in the interest of his health to ask Kunzite again. Sadder still, Kunzite was the last living in the Calder line. Due to Zoisite's knowledge of his… preferences, it would likely stay that way. He wondered if that bothered Kunzite- that his family line would die with him. Such a burden one should never carry.
Zoisite walked into his father, Henry's, brightly lit study. It was mid afternoon and he found him sitting out on the terrace at a small table sipping tea and reading over some documents.
"Zoisite," He smiled, putting the papers down. "It is good that you are here again after so long."
"Hello father. My stay isn't permanent; I was only allowed a 10 day absence..."
"That still leaves you about 4 days."
"I require a two day journey... I was also planning on arriving back to the castle early; I wish to impress Kunzaito-sama."
Zoisite's father narrowed his green eyes suddenly, and the mood of their meeting changed drastically.
"This was not the reason I summoned you, Zoisite, but another issue I must address as well." His father spoke carefully as he rose from the table and led Zoisite back inside.
"About Kunzaito-sama?"
"Yes. Him."
His father paused, and breathed in sharply.
"I've heard some things, Zoisite."
"They are not true-"
"For a rumor to reach this holding- it must be of quite severe… or truth."
"It is not father."
"Zoisite, I have not even told you what the rumor is. Did you anticipate my foreknowledge of it?" He snarled as he sat down at the edge of his cluttered desk.
"I am only aware of one rumor, and it is false." Zoisite lied.
"Then tell me Zoisite, what is it?"
Zoisite looked away.
"I must know if it is the same one." Zoisite's eyes continued to gaze at a distant bookshelf.
"I see," Henry continued. "You cannot even look me in the eye because you know it is the truth!"
Zoisite still did not meet his father's eyes.
"Look at me!" He bellowed and leapt from the desk. Zoisite stepped back in surprise but his father grabbed his forearm before he could move away any further.
"Why won't you look me in the eye and say it is not so!"
Zoisite hesitated for a moment. He could not remember his father being this visibly angry in a long time. Slowly he lifted his eyes and met the identical pair of his fathers. v"How could you do this to our family! You disgust me!" Henry snapped. He pushed Zoisite away, who tripped on the clutter and fell backwards onto the floor.
"I knew this would happen." Henry muttered to himself, ignoring what he had just done. "Growing up in a houseful of women… I should have sent you to be fostered as I did with Cain!"
Zoisite only glared.
"You will end this now!" His father hollered. "You are an embarrassment to this house. You will got back to the capital and stop your sick fantasy with you commander, and you will find a wife by the month's end!"
"Or else?"
"Or else?" His father repeated in annoyance. "Or else! You do not want to know what your alternative option is!"
"Or else." Zoisite snarked in response.
"Cain would never speak to me this way; he is a true Brunet and WILL inherit all when I have died!"
"You must be very proud of Cain," Zoisite snapped as he stood back up. "Your dear, dear, normal son- if you could call him that. When was the last time you saw him, father? When you tore him from mother's arms when he was still just a small child?"
"He is more my son than you will ever be!" He shot back, advancing upon Zoisite. "He's not some short, small boned, fairy like you!"
"Are you sure, father? It's been five years. He'll be a man soon; perhaps the stable boy has caught his eye-" His father never let Zoisite finish. Consumed with rage he struck him across the face.
"Never speak of Cain like… like that! He is you brother and you will respect him!" Henry grabbed Zoisite by his pony tail and yanked him back to the desk and forced his head down upon it.
"I should have done this a long, long time ago!" Henry bellowed while digging with his free hand under paper for what Zoisite found out was a long, ornate dagger.
"This is for your own good, son."
Fiona sat on the large window ledge of the attic of the west tower reading in silence. The core of an apple sat next to her. She wore an old linen frock and was barefoot. Her hair was gathered into a messy braid.
She looked up from her book suddenly as she heard the creak of old wood, and a string of profanity as something was knocked over.
"Who's there?" She called, putting her book down.
The intruder did not answer.
"I know how to fight! I'm not afraid to beat you up!" She threatened. It was not very effective though. Her voice was delicate and airy and did not sound threatening at all.
"I swear to it!" She yelled after.
She bit her lip in concentration trying to think of who knew she hid out there.
"Cam, I swear, if that's you, you'll never grow to manhood!"
"Who's Cam." A soft male voice asked.
"Zoisite?" Fiona asked with surprise.
"Yeah."
"What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?"
"I wasn't looking for you. I used to go here when I wanted to be alone. It's nice to know others have followed in my footsteps."
"Well, come out from there then. We can sit together."
"No."
"Why? A freak is not good company for you?"
"You're not a freak, Fiona. I'm the freak."
She was silent for a moment.
"So it IS true!" She said with wide eyes.
"What's true?"
"You know… that you like boys."
"Yeah."
"Wow. Now we have something in common!"
"Not you too… I was convinced there would be at least one family member who wouldn't be rude me."
"It doesn't bother me." She said as she swung her legs from the sill. "I just think it's a depressing thought that my older brother has had more boyfriends than I have."
"I'm going now."
"No! Don't! Please stay a while."
"Fine."
"I mean, stay where I can see you."
"I can see you. I'm fine."
"What's the problem then? Why won't you come out?"
"I'm a freak."
"We already discussed that."
"No, I look like one."
"Please come out, I promise I won't laugh. If I do, you can make fun of my foot."
"I won't do that. That's cruel."
"Pleeeeeeeeeeassssssssseeeeeeeeeee!" She whined.
"Fine." Zoisite moaned. After a moment, he stepped from behind the old crated and into the sunlit view of Fiona.
When she saw Zoisite, she tried hard not to giggle, but failed.
"I knew you'd laugh." Zoisite mumbled.
"No…" She said, attempting to swallow her laughter. "It looks…. Um, good on you."
"No it doesn't. I look hideous."
"I think I prefer long hair on you, I have to say."
Zoisite sighed heavily. The dagger his father had found on the desk had been used to slice the hair from Zoisite's head. It was now very short, and very, very uneven.
"I can't go anywhere looking like this." He muttered sitting down next to the window frame Fiona was propped against.
"What happened to your face?" Fiona said in shock, suddenly noticing the forming welt across his right cheek.
"Father."
"Oh. The hair too?"
"Yeah."
"He can be really mean sometimes."
"Yeah."
"Is everything you say one word? Oh, you're no fun!" Fiona said, crossing her arms.
"My day hasn't been the greatest."
"Well poo to you too." She said giving up. The two sat in awkward silence for a while. Zoisite began to flick pebbles on the floor in an effort to dim his anxiety.
"I have an idea!" Fiona exclaimed, leaping from the sill. "If I can find a way to fix your hair, will you promise me something?"
"Alright. what?"
"You have to promise!"
"I'm not going to make a blind promise."
"But we're family!"
"I haven't seen you in ages, Fiona."
"So you don't trust me?" She said, crossing her arms.
"No, I trust you. Certainly more than the rest of the family, I just don't make blind promises."
Fiona bit her lip a moment.
"When you leave, will you take me with you?"
"What!"
"Promise!"
"No! Father would have a fit!"
"I hate it here! Nobody likes me! I'm the shame of the family like you are! I know mother is waiting for me to start my courses so she can marry me off and be rid of me forever!"
"What? Mother would never do that?"
"But Father would… hint to it. You know how mother is gullible."
"I can't-"
"PROMISE!" She yelled. "Please, you're my only chance."
Zoisite stood in silence. He understood the plight of his younger sibling all to well, but he never could grant what she asked.
"All that I can promise you is that I will come for you if you ask. If you are correct, and mother and father plan to marry you away before you're 16th birthday, and it is not what you want, I will come for you and take you back to the capital."
Fiona stood still, as tears began to well in her eyes.
"Oh Zoisite!" She yelped, throwing both arms around his waist. "I knew you'd never let me down!"
But I have. He thought sadly. I already have.
End Part 18