Episode 2: The Cult of Ritalin

There is a meeting on Colony 4. The inhabitants of Colonies 3-5 are attending.

Chairman: Recently, the Evil Leauge has begun attacks on both Earth and Space. Apparentally, they are fighting for our best interests. However, I can't say I quite agree with their policies, especially Part 5 Section E Page 3, "The Explosiveness of Space Colonies."

Colonist 1: Chairman, I take it you're not a Ritalin-type.

Chairman: Ritalin-type?

Colonist 2: He does not know? Who elected this guy?

Colonist 3: It is an idea foretold by the legendary Evil Diekuan. He said that the next evoulotion of human beings are Ritalin-types, a special breed of human beings which can only be born in Outer Space. They enjoy pretty colors and have short attention spans. They also see pink Christana Agulerra monsters everywhere, that was discovered thousands of years before Diekuan. His name was Matt Stone.

Chairman: Hmmm...I fail to see how that's an improvement.

Colonist 3: Well...it is.

Chairman: Ok. So what does this have to do with my opionons on the Leauge's policies?

Colonist 4: As Ritalin-Types, we must see pretty colors in order to sustain our sanity. The rare pills named after our species have become a rarity and we need pretty colors. Therefore, this war most drag on for as long as possible.

Chairman: Absoulety not! You can just watch an episode of DBZ! They're avalibe at almost all colony librays free!

Colonist 2: NO...NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Colonist 5: KILL THE CHAIRMAN.

All Colonists: KILL HIM!

Suddenly, an alarm sounds.

All: Oh no! What's that?

A Gundam is flying thourgh space.

Gundam Piliot: My name is Mark Hypocrit! Stop this nonsense now! Peace is in the best interests of everyone!

The message is broadcasted to the board room.

Random Colonist: No.

The Colonist dies for no apparent reason.

Another Colonist: Oh no!

Yet another colonist runs to the chairman and stabs him.

Yet Another Colonist: I'm the new chairman! Attack the Gundam!

Weakus are deployed. They charge at him.

Piliot 1: EXPLODE EXPLODE EXPLODE!

He dies.

Piliot 2: Apperantly, this Gundam can point to things and they-

He dies.

Mark: Surrender now or more will die!

Random Colonist: No.

He dies.

Mark: You asked for it!

He flings his hands in random directions and they all die.

Mark: Oh well...so much for negotions.

Meanwhile, Yu kills millions of Weakus.

Yu: I don't think I can win! They're too strong!

Epic Music Plays. Yu gets a phone call. He picks up the phone.

Yu: Hello?

Yu flings the controller in random directions as he talks.

King Hypocrit: We want peace. We surrender.

Yu: Sorry, I'm busy.

He hangs up the phone only to realize he's wiped out the entire fleet.

Yu: Oh that was close!

At the Leauge Space Port, Hypocrit speaks to Nakuda.

Nakuda: Sir, I attacked my own men. Please don't punish me.

Hypocrit: Ok.

Nakuda: Cool.

TO BE CONTINUED

PREVIEW OF NEXT EPISODE

Colonys 3-5 declare themselves an independent nation, "The Union of Ritalin." They basically have the same goals as the Evil Leauge, only they fight eachother. Oh, and more killing. Yes, definatly more killing EPISODE 3: Land of Zero Attention Span