Mystery
Science Theater 3000 Episode #102
MSTing
of "Ranma 1/2 : Ranko Abandoned No More Part 1"
MSTing
by: Alex Gordon
E-Mail:
crow_t_robot69@hotmail.com
URL:
Coming Soon...
Original
fic by: Fred Herriot
MST3K
owned by Best Brains
Notes:
This is my first MSTing and I'm not very good at writing host segments so
comments and suggestions would be appreciated. Also this fic is part one of a
series. I will eventually MST the entire series, but I will probably split part
one into two parts so I can get some C&C and hopefully some prereaders.
Lemon
Warning: This MST contains mature content, or at least that's what the author's
notes of the fic say, but there is none in this part.
It
was early in the morning on the Satellite Of Love and Mike and the bots were
upset of being simply told to "get to the theater for the next experiment"
by Dr. Forrestor.
Mike:
Well I guess we have another fic to watch.
>
Fred Herriot <gorgo@timebomb.on.ca>
Tom:
Isn't that the creator of the Urusei Yatsura: The Senior Year?
Crow:
Yes, it is.
Tom:
Uh oh.
>Ranma
1/2: "Ranko, Abandoned No
More" Part 1
Tom:
I see this fic has Ranma and Ranko as two separate people.
Mike:
It could be worse.
>
by Fred Herriot
>gorgo@timebomb.on.ca
Crow:
The author is starting to repeat himself, this can't be good.
>****
**** ****
Tom:
Star light, star bright fir... twelfth star I see tonight.
>
Based on "Ranma 1/2" created by Rumiko Takahashi
Mike:
I think everyone figured that out when they saw the title.
>****
**** ****
Crow:
From all the stars this fic should be called off because of darkness.
Tom:
Not likely.
>
WARNING: This story contains adult
scenes. Standard warnings
>apply.
Crow:
Odds are there will be scenes between Ranma and Ranko.
Mike:
Let's hope not.
>****
**** ****
Tom:
I can't think of any more star jokes so I won't say any.
>
INTRODUCTION
>
> I know, I know. You've seen your fill of fics where Ranma
>is
split into Ranma and Ranko.
Tom:
(author) So here's mine!
>
There's also been several stories
>done
in the main series concerning the cast dealing with a
>feminine
Ranma created by various means (the Copy Ranma in manga
>Volume
35 for example).
Mike:
I wonder how long the author's notes last.
> This story's
been preying on my mind for
>some
time, so, since I'm trying to get over a writer's block
>concerning
my final two "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year"
>stories,
I decided to put this down.
Tom:
Yeah, When I'm bored I usually write a 56 page Ranma 1/2 lemon series.
Mike:
I don't think we're supposed to know the length of the series.
Tom:
It's just a MST, you should really just relax.
>
Having lived in Korea for seven months during 1996-7, I've
>come
to appreciate the good and bad aspects of Confucian society.
>A
terrible problem plaguing Korea right now is selective
>abortion. With the drive to bear healthy male
children, mothers
>usually
abort unborn daughters to prevent themselves from
>confronting
the shame of not preserving the husband's family
>line. Technically, this is illegal, but the
Confucian-inspired
>drive
to have sons over daughters can be overpowering; I was
>reading
about cases like this throughout my stay.
In fact, this
>belief
has actually led to suicide on several occasions!
Crow:
Is this a fic or this guys life story.
Tom:
I thought Ranma 1/2 was in Japan and China not Korea, so what relevance does
this have.
Mike:
Maybe he needed to fill in space.
> Thus, I asked myself this: what if there was a place where
>unwanted
girls were "disposed" of, a place which turns out to be
>as
magical as Jusenkyou? And what would
happen if Ranma came to
>this
place? Well, read on to learn the
answer...
Tom:
How about you just tell us to save us all the misery.
>
WRITER'S NOTES:
>1) This story occurs after the manga series
ends. Further,
>this
story leads in certain aspects to my planned sequel series
>"Ranma
1/2 Twenty Years Later" (which will undergo serious
>revision
before being released at the same time as "Urusei
>Yatsura
Twenty Years Later"). Relax, Sean;
Ryouga WILL be
>married
to Akari this time!
Mike:
Hey guys, let's take a nap while these writers notes go on.
Bots:
Okay.
Mike,
Tom and Crow shut their eyes and Mike checks the screen minutes later.
Mike:
Hey guys, the fic finally started.
Tom
and Crow open their eyes and begin to endure.
>
And as we always say...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!
Tom:
yeah he does always say that. It gets pretty annoying.
>****
**** ****
Crow:
Even though we took a short nap, we didn't miss the stars.
>"Here
it is!" Genma nods.
Mike:
Most likely he has found food.
>"Jookoji-shima."
Tom:
Gozuheight.
>Ranma
and Nodoka exchange concerned glances.
Crow:
(Ranma) Dad found pop rocks again didn't he, Mom.
>The
small volcanic rock, not even a kilometre wide, was located in the >middle
of the East China Sea.
Mike:
(Nodoka) No, son those aren't pop rocks they're volcanic rocks so I don't think
your father will be coming home.
>
Over the sign displaying the island's kanji title, were four >direction
signs. West, Shanghai.
>North,
Cheju-do. East, Makurazaki. South, Okinawa. Flapping
>from
flagpoles were the national flags of the People's Republic
>of
China, the Republic of Korea and Japan.
The visiting Japanese
>martial
artists found this odd. "Hey, Pop,
who owns this rock,
>anyway?"
Ranma wonders.
Tom:
(Genma) I do now and I'm planning on selling it for food.
>"I...I'm
not sure," Genma muses, equally mystified. "Let's
>see
if there's someone here to tell us what's going on."
Tom:
(Genma) or at least find some food...
>"Oh,
honestly, Genma!" Nodoka's eyes roll.
"When will you
>stop
listening to that old fool Happousai?!
All he ever does is
>get
you and Souun-kun into more trouble!"
Crow:
At least when he is not stealing panties.
>"Yeah,
he does, doesn't he?!" Ranma snorts.
Crow:
(Ranma) He promised to steal me some panties too.
> The three stop, tensing as their
senses detect others. "Oh,
>we
have visitors," a Korean-accented voice announces.
>"An-nyong-ha-se-yo!"
Mike:
Uh, No hablo espanol.
>"Ni-hao!"
a voice not so different from Shampoo's salutes.
Tom:
Strange, I didn't know a voice could salute.
>"Ohayo
gosaimasu," a Japanese voice adds.
> The Saotomes turn to see three young
women standing there.
>One
is dressed in a sleeveless long skirt with a Chinese dragon
>stitched
on it. The second is in a hanbok. The third wears a
>sea-pattern
kimono. "Ah...hi, there!"
Ranma smiles. "Don't mind
>us;
we're just coming by to visit."
Crow:
(Ranma) And I wouldn't mind visiting your bedrooms later.
Mike:
Crow!
> The three smile. "We rarely get visitors," the
Chinese
>woman
smiles. "I am Wei Yi-xin, First
Guardian of this island."
>
> "I am We Lee-shin, Second Guardian
of this island," the
>Korean
woman lightly bows.
>
> "I am Mishin Ei, Third Guardian of
this island," the
>Japanese
woman bows.
Tom:
(Ranma) I'm Ranma Saotome, gender changing marital artist.
Mike:
(Genma) I'm Genma Saotome, and I search for food.
> The Saotomes exchange confused
looks. "Those aren't your
>real
names, are they?!" Ranma wonders.
Crow:
(Ranma) `Cause I'm not sure I could pronounce them.
> "No, they are not," Mishin
admits. "We use them as aliases
>during
our tenure as Jookoji-shima's spiritual guardians. May we
>enquire
as to what brings you here today?"
Tom:
(Genma) I search for food.
Mike:
Okay, Tom no more Genma and food riffs. You're just beating the joke into the
ground.
Tom:
Alright, Mike, Whatever you say.
>"We
came to relax and meditate," Genma explains. "My family
>has
been separated for some time. My sensei
recommended this
>place
as a good one to seek inner harmony."
Tom:
(Genma) And by meditate I mean find...
Mike
glares at him.
Tom:
Oops sorry.
> "Then you have come to the right
place," Lee-shin smiles.
>"Please,
our humble abode is this way. Make
yourselves
>comfortable."
Crow:
(Ranma) Yeah, it will be comfortable in your bed later.
Mike:
Crow!
>The
Saotomes nod...
Tom:
Just smile and nod, Timmy.
>* *
*
All:
(singing) And tonight the stars REVOLT!
> "My, what a lovely home,"
Nodoka sighs as she and Genma
>relax
in the guest hut beside the island's main building, a
>pagoda-like
temple located near the dormant volcano's mouth.
Tom:
Even if it was dormant I wouldn't want to be near a volcano's mouth.
>
Ranma was off to find the bathhouse. It
was now well past
>sunset. The three guardians were now preparing a
mixed feast.
>"Tell
me, Ei-san, who governs this island?" she gazes at Mishin.
To
be continued…