Rukawa was much less reserved or embarrassed about telling his story, and he plunged in without hesitation. He spoke as if he were talking about the weather, as if the sad tale he lay out before Hanamichi was a picnic in the park.
“My mother was an alcoholic and my father was abusive. They didn’t love one another in any sense and argued all the time. It wasn’t so bad, and after a while it seemed odd when they were in the same room and weren’t screaming at one another.” He shrugged. “At one point, on my seventh birthday, my mom and dad began arguing in front of my friends and mom ended up punching dad. He landed in my birthday cake.” He looked up for a moment, as if his story were written in the ceiling. “I remember being upset, but not for a very long time. I became reserved and rarely spoke. I suppose because I knew that I wouldn’t be heard over the yelling. Or, at least, that’s what the school’s therapist said when my teacher sent me to him. I refused to talk in class and “wouldn’t interact with other kids.” When my mom found out that my teacher sent me to a shrink, she was outraged and pulled me out of that school, saying I wasn’t a “nut” and didn’t need anyone evaluating me. I didn’t particularly care, and was registered to a new school. When middle school rolled around, I began playing on the boy’s basketball team, and finally found a reason to go to school. Of course, the coach insisted that I keep my grades up, so I was forced to wake up and pay attention in class...” He trailed off and Sakuragi knitted his eyebrows together.
“You used to fall asleep in class?”
“Oh, hell yea. I used to fall asleep doing everything. During school, riding my bike home, doing homework, watching t.v., exercising...”
“Wasn’t that dangerous?”
Rukawa was silent a moment and Sakuragi thought he noted a small tinge in his cheeks. “Actually, at one point I nearly suffocated myself bench pressing. I had fallen asleep, and if dad hadn’t found me, I probably would have died or suffered brain damage.” He shrugged. “Oh well.”
“So, you fell asleep all the time?”
“Yea.”
“Why?”
He exhaled sharply. “There’s a lot of theories to that. My shrink at school said it was because I was so much smarter than everyone else and sleeping was the only thing that stimulated my mind.”
“I know that most psychiatrists are called this, but that guy was a quack. A real Loony Tune.” He seemed to catch the drift in what was coming from his mouth. “No offense, of course!” He said quickly, holding up his hands in a gesture of apology. “It’s just, that doesn’t make in sense.”
“No apology necessary. I knew what you meant, and you’re right, he was crazy. My mom said I was always sleeping because I worked so hard with other things that I wore myself out.”
Hanamichi blinked, and before he could speak, Rukawa shot him a wry smile and said, “No, I wasn’t ever really awake for anything else, either.”
“You read my mind.”
“I thought that was your job.”
Sakuragi smiled slightly and looked over at one of the candles that was dying down. The flame flared back to life.
“So, all these people had their theories about why you slept. Did you have one?”
“Yea...”
There was a silence, and Sakuragi shifted to look at Kaede straight in the eye.
“Why, then?”
Rukawa leaned back in his seat and placed a hand on the back of the couch, the other on the armrest.
“ ‘Cause I wanted to.”
Sakuragi threw back his head and laughed, his hair flying everywhere only to settle back in it’s original spot. He laughed until tears rolled from his eyes, and Rukawa looked at him questioningly.
“I don’t think it was *that* funny...” He said, watching as Hanamichi wiped moisture from his eyes, chuckling quietly still.
“Well, I guess it was in the way you said it.” Hanamichi looked at him, still smiling that contagious smile, running a hand through his silky strands. “You were so serious, as if that were one of the most normal answers in the world.”
“It isn’t?” Rukawa asked innocently.
“Your bull shitting me. You have to know how funny that sounds.”
Rukawa took on a thoughtful look, and Hanamichi began to think that perhaps this boy was as serious as he had first come off as.
But a slow grin began tugging at Rukawa’s lips, and the muscles in the corners of his mouth twitched, as if he were trying to keep the smile from forming. Hanamichi crowed and pointed at him.
“Ah HA! Knew it! You’re pulling my leg!”
“How?” Rukawa blinked his icy eyes innocently. “I’m all the way over here, and your leg is over there.”
Hanamichi shook his head and sat back, crossing his legs and stretching. “So, is that it? Basketball came into your life and suddenly you had a reason to stay awake?”
“Basically.” Rukawa shrugged. “I stuck to myself all through high school, and I’m almost done with my last year at a two year college, and then I’m probably going to try and make it into a basketball league, hopefully in the U.S.”
“You really love basketball, don’t you?”
Rukawa nodded. “I can’t really explain why. It’s like, I get out there on the court, and suddenly I have a purpose, a goal, and I belong to a fully-functioning, cohesive group that responds to one another perfectly, works toward the same common goal, and yet at the same time, you know it’s just a game and that, even if you lose, there’s always going to be another game.” He sighed. “It’s a constant in my life, something to hold on to.”
Sakuragi nodded somberly. “I can understand that. It’s your security blanket.”
Rukawa seemed to turn this idea over in his mind and nodded after a moment. “You’re right, that’s exactly it.” He stretched and sighed again, then checked his watch.
“Do you need to get home?” Sakuragi didn’t want him to leave. A wave of loneliness swept over him, and realized this was the first time in all his memory that he had longed for someone to be around him, to talk to.
Rukawa seemed to know this, for he nodded, even though it was late. “Nah. I’ll stick around for a while.” He paused, as if weighing his next words. “It’s hard to understand, but I like having you around, Hanamichi. It’s like, even though I haven’t known you that long, I feel as if you’re my closest friend.”
Hanamichi looked at him in amazement, unable to comprehend how he and the dark-haired boy beside him could think so alike. It was as if they were on the same wavelength, or as if...
...Kaede could read his mind.
Rukawa stared intently at Hanamichi’s face, watching the conflicting emotions crossing over his face, reading him, trying to find out what he was thinking.
“What’s wrong? What’re you thinking?”
Sakuragi returned his gaze to Rukawa. Something in the boy’s eyes spoke of unknown secrets of a wisdom that no one knew of...probably not even himself.
“Can I...probe you?”
Thoughts flashed through Rukawa. A mind probe? Let this boy learn *everything* about him? Share his memories, right down to the embarrassing and cold memories of his childhood, with an almost-perfect stranger? The thought left him feeling naked, exposed in a cold world, with nothing to anchor him, nothing to comfort him. He felt a rise of panic run through him, but he repressed it, as a razor sharp thought cut through him;
So what if he knew?
Rukawa had never cared what others thought of him, so why should he worry of this boy’s opinion? It shouldn’t matter.
But it did. Rukawa had developed a closeness with Hanamichi that couldn’t be described in any known words in any known languages. Feelings that even he didn’t understand coursed through him, and he couldn’t begin to answer those questions, or the dozen others that popped into his mind.
Only one thing was clear; he cared about Sakuragi Hanamichi, and he cared about the opinion he had of him. And he wanted him to know all about him, to be as close to Rukawa as he was to him.
This thought startled him, and he swallowed, his tongue feeling thick. He glanced at Hanamichi, who waited quietly, expectantly.
The human heart works in odd ways; it can latch onto another person so quickly that it’s breath-taking. And, if that person should ever break away from you, your heart takes on a feeling as if it were being ripped from your chest. And yet, at the same time, it can also love another person whose hurt you so unconditionally and for the rest of your life. Your heart knows no boundaries, cares not for races, colors, gender, or age. All these things were irrelevant to it, and it cared only to find another person who could love them back, offer all the love it could give and more, and accept it completely.
Rukawa knew all this, and knew that that’s exactly what happened with him. He had fallen for Sakuragi, and knew that in a few minutes, if he didn’t leave and never come back, (which is nothing like what his heart wanted), then he would never leave. *Ever.*
Rukawa nodded as Sakuragi moved closer, extending a hand to Rukawa’s head, burying it in his hair and spreading his fingers across his skull, rubbing gently, as if massaging his scalp. Rukawa let out a soft sigh and leaned into his hand, closing his eyes. In a moment, he felt as if his life were being played through his eyes, almost too quickly for him to notice, and then a soft voice tickling the back of his mind. He couldn’t make out the words, and didn’t try to. He was floating in his own mind, dreaming of placing his lips over Hanamichi’s, wondering how it would feel, when a warm presence against his temple pushed him back to reality.
Sakuragi looked down at Rukawa as he moved away, his lips removing themselves from Rukawa forehead. Rukawa stared up at the slightly taller boy, then moved forward and touched his lips to Sakuragi’s.
TBC