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Makoto's Lament
Part 5
By: Usa and Emiri
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Makoto jumped out of her skin at the sound of the door. It wasn't room service, and it most likely wasn't housekeeping. She decided to ignore it.

**

Usagi knocked again but there was no response. She decided to do what she did at Makoto's apartment... try the door knob. It turned easily her hand. *Mako-chan has to learn how to lock doors,* she thought to herself. She entered the dark hotel room and spotted a form on the bed.

Makoto jumped at the sound of the door turning. "Who's there?!" she yelled hoarsely.

"Mako-chan! It's Usagi!"

"Usagi-chan?" Makoto rolled over, shocked. "How...what...where...who..why...how'd you get here? How did you know where I was?"

Usagi took the letter out of her pocket. "You left your address on this piece of paper on purpose."

Makoto looked at the letter. "Oh, yeah..."

She looked up at Usagi. "But...how'd you get here? Why did you come?"

"I took the train. And I came because you needed someone."

"Usagi-chan..."

Usagi looked to the floor. "Of course, if you'd rather have Ami-chan or Rei-chan even to be there for you, I could go and send one of them." She turned to leave.

"No, Usagi-chan, matte..."

"Nani, Mako-chan?" Usagi asked.

"I just...I dunno...tomorrow is nine years since my parents died."

Usagi went over to the bed. "Mako-chan, I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'll always be there for you."

"Arigatou, Usagi-chan. I just...I miss them so much...I never really had a chance to know them..." Moakoto started sobbing again.

"Mako-chan..." Usagi wrapped her arms around her friend. "Just let it out."

Makoto leaned on Usagi's shoulder, and just cried and cried. "I know you all think I'm so tough...but I'm not. Sorry to ruin your image of me like this..."

Usagi shook her head. "I don't think any less of you. It only proves you're human. I know just how tough you are, Mako-chan."

"Arigatou, Usagi-chan..." Makoto continued to sob. "I just feel so...empty...especially now...and sometimes...I get so angry...why did they have to die? Why not someone else's parents? Gomen, I know that sounds selfish...I wouldn't want anyone else's parents to be dead...but I just wish mine weren't...they're never going to get to see all the special events in my life...I can't run to them when I have problems...I've always had to be strong and get by on my own...I just want to have them come back and hug me and take care of me...I feel so alone...Gomen, Usagi-chan, I know you're here...it's a different kind of alone...Oh, I know I make no sense...gomen..."

Usagi was having trouble coming up with the right words. What did she think she could say to her friend? She'd probably be thinking the exact same way if their positions were reversed. "Don't apologize for feeling the way you do. And, contrary to popular belief, I know what it feels like to be alone and... not be."

"Nani? When?"

"It was when Queen Beryl had taken Mamo-chan."

Usagi tried to hold back her own tears. "Gomen ne, I'm supposed to be comforting you!"

"Usagi-chan...but he's alive..." Makoto bit her lip.

"I know that, and that's what scares me. To know that he can be taken away at any time and there'd be nothing I could do about it."

"Iie...Usagi-chan..." Makoto didn't know what to say.

Usagi sighed. This was not going as she planned. Now she had Makoto listening to her problems. "Mako-chan, what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't dwell on the death of your parents. Focus on what they gave to you."

"And that is..." Makoto was confused and tired.

"Your life."

"If things had gone differently, if they hadn't gone on that plane, would you have met the people you know today? Would you be doing the things you're doing now?"

Makoto slowly nodded, not knowing what else to say or do. "Hai, they gave me life...but they're still dead...and I miss them so much...I don't know..."

"And that is never going to go away. I feel the same way with my grandparents. I miss them too, but I know they're right here." She placed a hand over her heart. "I know they'll always be there for me. Watching over me. Just as your parents are watching over you."

"You think...you think they watch over me?"

Usagi nodded. "I really do."

"Demo..." Makoto didn't know what else to say, and she had a huge lump in her throat. She began to speak, but ended up in a coughing fit.

Usagi placed a hand on Makoto's back. She was hoping that something would sink in. That there'd be some way to keep Makoto from being so hurt by her parents' death. Usagi knew she wouldn't just "get over it" but the pain would lessen soon.

"Ne, Mako-chan, would you like me to leave you alone for a little while? I could get you something to eat."

"Gomen, Usagi-chan...I guess my throat is dry from crying so much. It's all I've been doing all week."

"You don't need to apologize for everything," Usagi said, standing up. "Do you just want some water?"

Makoto nodded. "Arigatou, Usagi-chan."

Usagi left the room to get some ice and returned five minutes later. After filling the glass, she handed it to Makoto. "I'll be on the balcony if you need anything."

"I think I might sleep now, Usagi-chan...you're welcome to the bed if you want it. I can sleep on the floor."

"You sleep on the bed," Usagi replied, with a wave of her hand. "I can sleep anywhere, you know that."

Makoto giggled a little bit. "Hai...if you're sure....you came all this way, though..."

About to open the balcony door, Usagi shook her head. "I'm all right. Get some sleep."

"Alright, Usagi-chan. Arigatou...for being here for me.."

"Always, Mako-chan. Always."

**************

The minute Usagi shut the door, she sank to her knees in tears. Since she mentioned Mamoru being taken from her, she had a huge lump in her throat. Usagi hadn't wanted to cry any more in front of Makoto than she did. Her friend needed her, and here she was, thinking about herself. About her life. Makoto couldn't have the things she had. She didn't have a mother to run to when she was upset, a father to run to when she was scared, or even a little brother to pester.

"Why? Why do good people always end up hurt?" she whispered into the night sky.

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"Minna," Rei said, "have any of you heard from Usagi-chan?"

Ami shook her head. "Not since yesterday afternoon before she took off. What did her parents have to say, Minako-chan?"

"Just that she was gone...something about a friend..."

The girls pondered that for a while. "Well, Usagi-chan is likeable person," Ami reasoned. "She probably has friends out of town, ne?"

Rei and Minako nodded in agreement. "Where could Mako-chan be?" Rei asked in frustration. "This is getting serious."

Minkao's eyes lit up. "Maybe...she went to see Mako-chan!"

"How, baka?" Rei replied, hitting Minako in the arm. "None of us knows where she is!"

Minako stuck her tongue out at Rei. "There's no need for violence."

"No, Rei-chan, she could be right," Ami said.

"Nani?"

"Perhaps Usagi-chan received a letter from her. Remember, she was holding a piece of paper while she fished for an excuse."

Rei looked thoughtful. "Hrm... you might have something there, Ami-chan. But, how can we find out where she went?"

"Why don't we ask her parents or Shingo?" Minako suggested. "They'd probably know."

"Good idea, Minako-chan!" Ami exclaimed. "Lets go!"

"Haaii!"

**************

Makoto woke up to see the stars shining through the curtains. It was 2:25 am. She looked around the room for Usagi, and saw her silhouette on the balcony floor.

'I'm glad she came,' she though, and went to carry her friend inside.

Usagi stirred in her sleep. "Mamo-chan..."

Makoto said nothing, and placed her friend on the bed. Then, she went out to look at the stars. They were sparkling millions of miles away.

'Most of those stars have died,' she thought to herself. Millions of years ago...and yet, their light still reaches us. I wonder...' "Mama, Papa, are you out there still?"

"I miss you," she added after a pause.

Makoto began to think more, and Usagi's words came back to her. ' "If things had gone differently, if they hadn't gone on that plane, would you have met the people you know today? Would you be doing the things you're doing now?" 

It was true, she realized. She most likely wouldn't be there now. She wouldn'tve met Usagi-tachi...so maybe her parents had to die...'Gawd, it's too late at night to think,' she realized. Nothing made a lot of sense at that hour. All she knew was that Usagi had comer all that way for her. 'I'm glad I'm not truly alone.'

Makoto sighed. She'd always miss her parents. That ache would never go away. But she had people that cared about her. 'Arigatou, Usagi-chan.'

She decided to invite Usagi with her when she went to her parents' graves in the morning. She had someone to listen to her, and a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't the same as having parents, but it helped to know that someone was there.

Makoto felt warm suddenly as she looked up at the stars again, like someone was giving her a hug. 'Maybe my parents are out there,' she thought as she turned to go back inside and sleep.