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Makoto's Lament
Part 4
By: Usa and Emiri
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"Usagi-baka!" Shingo hollared. "Mail!"
Usagi ran downstairs and took the letter from her brother. 

She noticed there's no return address but the writing on the envelope was familiar. Usagi tore it open.

'Usagi-chan, gomen,' it began. 'I just had to get away for awhile...nothing against minna, but I need some time alone to think and things. I still miss my parents, after all this time. But don't worry about me, I'm safe. I'll be home eventually... I'm safe. You don't need to tell minna, but I'm going to travel around by train for awhile, and visit my parents' graves in Osabu. I might even come home and just not tell anyone. I'll let you know when I want company again. I hope I don't sound mean, but I kind of want to just be alone... Love, Makoto'

Usagi's hands were shaking slightly as she read the letter from Makoto. She couldn't decide whether or not to catch the next train to Osabu or wait until she heard from her friend again. Makoto had asked her not to tell anyone and she planned on keeping it a secret, but she needed someone to be there for her. Maybe not to hear words of comfort, but for someone to listen and hold her.

Usagi looked at the letter again. In very small print, on the back, there was an address printed. Makoto did want her to come now! Remembering that they had a school holiday, Usagi ran downstairs to ask permission to go out of town for a while to help a friend out.

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"How long will you be gone?" Ami asked.

Usagi shook her head. "I don't know, but you guys will be all right without me, ne? There haven't been any youma sitings for awhile."

"Where are you going?" Rei wanted to know.

"Can we come?" Minako asked.

"It's personal," she responded, not looking in the eyes of any of her friends. She knew they could tell she was lying. "I need to go alone, Minako-chan."


"But what about looking for Mako-chan?" Ami asked.

"You guys have a better sense of direction than I do and what I need to do can't wait." Usagi inwardly winced at her excuse, it was terrible.

"Usagi, why can't you look us in the eye?" Rei wanted to know.

Instead of answering Rei, Usagi went to the door. "Gomen, I've got to go! Ja ne!" 

Before Ami could say anything to her, she was gone. "What is going on?"

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Makoto was sprawled on the hotel bed where she had stopped for the night. She hadn't eaten much of anything all day, but she wasn't really hungry. Tomorrow, she was going to visit her parents' graves. 9 years to the day. She hugged her knees close. 'Maybe I ought to get some sleep now,' she thought to herself. In a way, Makoto wished that Usagi-tachi were there with her. Then again, they could never understand her pain. She sighed.

She wondered if Usagi had noticed the adress on the letter she had sent her, and if she had told any of the others. On the table, the forget me nots sat, reminding her of them. She was going to leave the flowers on her parents' graves tomorrow. 'You'd like my friends,' she sliently whispered.

Makoto decided to go to bed, and crawled under the covers, suddenly too tired to even put on her pyjamas. She hoped her friends weren't worried about her. She was going to go home the next day, or maybe the day after.

She just felt so...empty. Even more so when Usagi-tachi weren't around. When she was all alone, it hurt the worst. Why had fate been so cruel to her? Why were her parents killed so early in thier lives? Why had they been taken from her so soon? 'I never really knew them,' she thought sadly. Their faces were blurs in her mind, aside from the pictures. And all the good memories of them were slowly fading away, until her heart was dark and empty.

Makoto's eyes welled up again. Her tough exterior was exactly that...inside she was alone and hurting and confused. And just tired. She wanted someone to take boyfriends home to meet, someone to be there to see her graduate, someone to tell and help her to follow her dreams. What she really wanted, though, was to be little again, and just curl up in her mother's lap. Every little thing that was wrong, they'd fix for her. She didn't want to have to do everything herself anymore.

Makoto began to cry again. What people would think if they saw her being such a crybaby...

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Usagi knocked on the door to Makoto's room. She had no idea what to say to her friend. Usagi didn't lose her parents in a plane crash, she didn't lose her brother. She knew though that Makoto needed her and she would always be there for her. Finally, she knocked on the door and waited for a response.