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Makoto's Lament
Part 3
By: Usa and Emiri
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Usagi didn't know what she was planning on saying to Makoto. Usagi was very worried and scared for her friend. She didn't know what Makoto was capable of. Usagi knew she would be devasted if she had ever lost her parents... even if she lost Shingo.

These thoughts made Usagi run faster to the apartment complex. She arrived ten minutes later, and forgoing the wait for the elevator, she ran up the stairs.

Usagi stopped in front of Makoto's apartment and knocked on the door five times. No answer. So, like earlier, she turned the knob...

Usagi wondered around the place, calling her friend's name. There was no reply. Nothing seemed to be out of place and her bed was made. "Mako-chan, where are you?" she whispered worriedly.

Usagi's heart began to beat faster in her chest. Makoto was gone... She knew her parent's death had something to do with it. But where could she be? Tears formed in Usagi's eyes as she turned on her communicator to call the others. "Minna!"

"Usagi-chan?" Minako answered. "Daijobou?"

"It's Mako-chan."

"Nani yo? What about her?"

"She's... she's gone!" Usagi cried.

"NANI YO?!"

"Just what I said. Mako-chan is no longer in this apartment. Her bed is made and everything!" Usagi cried harder. "Minako-chan, what if she... what if she..."

"We have to find her, Usagi-chan!"

"I'm with you! Call Ami-chan and Rei-chan and we'll meet up at Hikawa Shrine!"

"Hai!"

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Usagi didn't know where else to look. The girls had been wondering around for 10 hours straight. It was now midnight and they didn't have anywhere else to look.

"Kami, where *is* she?" Minako said.

"We have to find her minna!" Usagi cried. She was starting to lose all self-control. One of her best friends was missing, all alone and upset and there was nothing she could do.

"Usagi-chan?" Ami asked worriedly. 

Usagi sank to her knees. She felt so helpless. If only she had remembered about the anniversary! If she had, then Makoto would be safely tucked away in her apartment with Usagi there to comfort her.

"Usagi..." Rei said, giving her friend a hug. "We'll find her and she'll be just fine!"

Usagi nodded hoping it was true.

"You don't think..." Ami couldn't finish her sentence.

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Makoto sighed, and looked out the train window. All she cared was that she was getting away for awhile, and that she wouldn't come back until she was ready.

She felt bad for leaving her friends, but she just wanted to be alone. She hoped that they wouldn't worry too much about where she was.

She sighed again and leaned her head against the window of the train. The scenery continued to whiz by, just as she felt life was passing her by. She truly was alone. She wasn't smart like Ami-chan, she didn't have an amazing boyfriend like Usagi-chan who would take care of her, she wasn't spiritual and connected to the universe like Rei-chan, and she wasn't cute like Minako-chan. Tears sprung to her eyes once more, and she wondered if they would ever be dry again. She was just a plain, ordinary, too-tall, girl who was all alone.

She remembered the day the accident had happened like it was yesterday. She was in kindergarten at the time. She was supposed to fly with her parents, but she had gotten an ear infection, and had to stay behind with their next door neighbour. Makoto had gone to school that day, because the teacher was going to read them a special story. While they were lying down for their rest time, the principal came in, asking to talk to her. When the teacher came over to get her, she wouldn't look her in the eye. Makoto knew that something was wrong, but she had no idea...The principal took her back to the office, sat her in an overstuffed chair, and told her straight out what had happened. "Makoto, gomen nasai. Your mommy and daddy are no longer with us." 
At first this confused Makoto. "Of course they're not here, they're flying right now." 
Then the principal looked at her with tears shining in his eyes. "Their plane crashed, Makoto. They're dead." Makoto was in shock, and she just sat there, unmoving, for half an hour. The principal finally tried to put his arms around her, to comfort her. "Makoto..." 
"Don't touch me!" she screamed, swinging her little fist with a ferocity she'd never posessed before. That day, she had broken the principal's nose. The next week, she started kindergarten at a school across town.

Makoto shivered, and hugged herself tight. Ever since then...she had become violent and sometimes cruel. And inside, she felt like her heart shattered like glass every single day when she woke up alone. Before she had met Usagi, everyone had been scared of her. And she had used that fear to push people away. It was easier to control fear than love. Makoto had promised herself not to care about anyone ever again, because the two people that loved her more than anything were now cold and stiff in the ground. She reached down beside her. Good, they were still there. She had brought the forget-me nots from Usagi-tachi. The exact same flowers that sat on her parents' coffins as they were lowered into the ground. "Mama, Papa..." A few tears traced a well-worn path down her face.

An attendant stopped by her seat. "Are you alright, miss?" Makoto looked up and glared at her. The stewardess stepped back, wide-eyed. "Go-gomen..." she stuttered and walked away quickly. More tears fell as she felt guilty for being mean. But she wasn't about to share her pain with strangers. Makoto curled up in her seat, and tried to sleep as the train carried her far from Tokyo. She heard her friends' voices in her head. "Mako-chan, feel better soon." "Makoto-chan, do you want us to bring you your homework?" "Makoto, daijoubou?" "Mako-chan, we'll always be here for you when you need us." 'My friends,' she thought. 'No, my family. My sisters. I should let them know where I am so they don't worry about me.' Then, Makoto remembered that Ami had her communicator. 'Minna, watashi wa daijoubou,' she silently whispered, and hoped that they would pick up on that thought.

She hadn't meant to leave Tokyo, exactly. But she just couldn't stand to be there on the day her parents died, and now she wasn't really sure if she could stand to go back alone. So now, she was on a train, going as far as it would take her. After that, she wasn't sure where she was going to go. Maybe get another apartment somewhere else. Makoto wanted to outrun the past, more than anything else. If she kept moving, she knew that one day in the future, she'd finally be able to leave her sadness buried with her parents. But, she was just going to go, and see where she ended up. Makoto wiped the tears from her eyes, and settled down further in her seat. The rocking of the train, and all the strength she had used crying, along with not eating much for the past two days suddenly made Makoto feel very sleepy. She closed her eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep.