Ah, Winter Break. That wonderful time in the school year where you can go to your favorite soda shop and not have homework to do. But what’s that in the sky? A giant waffle!? And it's by the moon, what the Hell?

Atop the Frozen Waffle cone sits a scary-ass woman wearing in see-thru everything. (Guys, stop drooling -_-*) Apparently she wants to do something with the Earth, and it ain’t water-skiing in Florida…

On the coast of Tokyo site a wonderful fine dining establishment called…Olive Garden? Oh well. Sitting enjoying his overpriced glass of champagne is a blond-headed youngster name David Thomas. Suddenly, he notices a streak of light reflected in his glass and rushes outside to see what it is. He finds a giant hole, and not the donut-kind, with a sparkling object in it. He moves in closer and discovers it is a cookie with shiny sugar sprinkles that form some writing on it he can’t quite make out. He’s feeling kind of hungry, so he snatches it and runs away.

*Run Theme Music*

Elsewhere, there is a news report on TV about a woman, Olivia, who is convinced that the moon is made of the best cheese imaginable and wants to get some in order to make even more money for at Olive Garden, which she owns.

Serena is stuffing her face as usual while the other scouts are studying for their Server Training Tests. After some weird and traumatizing thoughts from Serena, we discover that Wendy is sick with a cold from too many Frosties. Ronald tries to escort her home but she tells him no and leaves. As she is walking home, her braids start to get heavy and she starts to feel dizzy. She passes out in the middle of the street. At that very moment David Thomas rushes through and saves her from a getting hit by a Papa John’s delivery car. He takes her home and nurses her back to health. She awakens the next morning to find that he has cared for her all night.

Meanwhile, the scouts have started worrying about Wendy’s disappearance. Raye decides it’s Serena’s fault and Serena responds by throwing a temper tantrum and then summoning one of the Chic-Fil-A cows randomly.

Back at David’s house, Olivia shows up and reveals herself to be the love interest of David. She is leaving for the moon, and laughs at his belief in the Moon Pie princess. David apparently has become obsessed with his now moldy cookie and the package of Lucky Charms in his pantry. But now Wendy is falling in love with him…a cat in a wig and restaurant owner? Whodathunk?

All of a sudden its starts to snow and very obnoxious enemies called Sundae Dancers begin plaguing the city, by throwing nuts everywhere when they twirl but more with their immensely annoying giggling. The Inner Franchise transforms and goes into battle. They are quickly joined by the Outer Franchise who appears to help them out. Unfortunately, they don’t do a whole lot to the Sundae Dancers because every time they defeat one, it just laughs harder and doesn’t die. The Franchise persists and soon manage to get at least one blow in. Down the street, Serena and Rini are being chased, but they point at a burger sign and run into an ally to transform, exposing the audience to Rini’s naked form as she transforms into Sailor Happy Meal. Even transformed, the two can’t manage to do something constructive, so they get saved by Tuxedo Drive-Thru. Sailor Food uses Food Artery Heart Attack and the Sundae Dancers are stopped.

Things go back to normal for a little bit. The scouts run into Wendy again and she tells them about the waffle cone in the sky. But the scouts become suspicious when Wendy keeps disappearing and coming back with free bread sticks and Lucky Charms toys. Soon the Franchise figures out that Wendy is in love and Ronald gets jealous. What is the use of having a Playplace if there is no one to play with?

Serena follows Wendy to the Olive Garden and finds out that Wendy is in love with David. But then Olivia comes in and gets mad at David for not caring about her when she was about to leave to get the Moon Cheese. David blows her off and she runs out, breaking plastic salad bowls on the way. To make matters worse, the cookie has given David food poisoning and it’s making him very cranky. Suddenly, the evil ice woman from the waffle cone appears and reveals all her plans.

She is Queen Swensens and is going to take over and freeze Earth so she can make the perfect banana split with all the toppings. Swensens begins her attack having stolen the cookie from David (because it wouldn’t be a Swensons sundae without the cookie). The other Franchises find out about Queen Swensens because conveniently Ronald remembers a story that he heard a while back.

Swensens makes her move and puts the world on ice cream. The Outer Franchises attack first, thinking that hot pizza, fried fish, and steak might do something. But the more Super Sundaes they kill the more that appear. The Inner Franchises show up to help them but are devoured like kid’s cones in an ice cream shop. Sailor Food shows up to try and make a speech about the importance of not eating too much ice cream but sees the Sundaes and starts to pig out. Swensens laughs and then knocks her down with her Tremor attack.

The franchises have one hope. They will combine their powers to charge up the Cholesterol Crystal and blast the partially nude Swensens back to where she came from. Queen Swensens begins her most powerful attack and uses the power of the cookie to create The Earthquake. The Franchises combine their powers and destroy Queen Swensens and the waffle cone.

Before Sailor Food is finished she makes a wish that Wendy might turn into a real person for one night so she could be with David Thomas. The wish comes true and Wendy and David are sent together to the moon for some cheese. They fall in love and David decides to keep her around and so they make a contract and go into the Fast Food business together. Wendy always calls the shots in a relationship so the place gets named Wendy’s. They work and live together making creepy commercials for ever after and the world is saved (except for all the melted ice cream, oh well =)

Serena: Hey, hey, hey! What about us? We need Wendy! She is our guide, our trusted friend, and she gives us stuff off of the 99 cent menu for free!

Oh, okay! Wendy tells David that Olivia is the one for him and she goes back to the Franchise and decides that Ronald’s fro is not as off-putting as she first thought and they have a kitten and Olivia and David fall in love and run the Olive Garden with their damn moon cheese and everyone lives happily ever after until the next bad guy comes along and they have to fight it again and it goes on and on and my head hurts make it stop AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! THERE, HAPPY?!?!

Serena: Touchy, touchy, touchy…

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is copyright 1992, Takeuchi Naoko, Toei Animation, TV Asahi, DIC, Cloverway, Bandai, and other associated companies. We are not affiliated with any restaurants mentioned on this page in any way. Any copyrighted terminology on this page was used as parody/satire under fair use laws. This is a fan page and does not earn profit in any way, shape, or form. Yeah right, like people would pay money for this. Most people wouldn't waste time on this (except us!), let alone money.

This page was copyrighted October 2000 upon creation by J & K.