Gundam Wing Isle -- by Jade Sage (jade_sage@angelfire.com) DISCLAIMER! : I don't own GW, Gilligan's Isle, most of the stuff mentioned here, or half the stuff in my house. If it belongs to you, come and get it, it's clogging up my space! Ramblings : I hate Relena. And Wufei tends to get on my nerves. So if you really really like them, this isn't the fic for you!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Cast, Singing: "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure, five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, with Duo *gives a peace-sign* the Skipper too *Heero looks confused* the Millionaire *Quatre waves to the camera* and some guy *Wufei looks outraged* the fic author *Jade -'Oh yeah!!'* the Professor *Trowa's expression cannot be seen through his uni-bang* and Milli-chan! *Milliardo looks up in shock* Here on 'Gundam Wing Isle'!! " ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The stranded gang is all piled on top of each other (get your mind out of the gutter!) on a beach as they come to their senses. Quatre: Um.... can you remove your elbow from my spleen, Jade? Jade: Oh! ^_^;; Sorry, Quatre! *rolls off the top of the pile, followed by Quatre* Heero: Uuughhh.... where the hell are we?! Duo: *mumbles something unintelligible* H: What did you say, Duo? D: *screaming* I SAID GET OFF OF MY HEAD! I CAN'T BREATHE!! H: Oh. That still doesn't tell me where I am. *calmly jumps off of the diminishing pile* Duo climbs off, blue-faced and panting. D: Kami! You almost suffocated me, Heero! H: *shrugs* Milliardo:*pulls himself off the remaining person* It wasn't much of a picnic for me either, with your braid blocking my nose. *sneezes* Trowa: .... *indicates a large shoeprint on his head that perfectly matches Milliardo's sneakerprint* M: Oh. o_o;; Sorry. T: *shrugs* It's ok. *faints* J: Someone get him away from the tide before he drowns. Hey, what's with that lump in the sand? Everyone (minus the unconsious Trowa) gathers around a mound of white cloth, which suddenly begins wiggling. Q: *eyes widening in horror* AAUGH! IT'S ALIVE!! KILL IT!!!! Heero whips out his gun, takes aim at the....thing... and is prepared to shoot it when Milliardo suddenly grabs his arm. The....thing... starts to mumble wildly. M: Wait! It's.... trying to say something! Wufei: *suddenly explodes out of the sand* INJUSTICE!!!! INJUSTICE!!!! INJUSTICE!!!! You FAT weaklings almost KILLED me!!! *spits out some sand* H: Oh, it's just Wufei. *Everyone turns their attention to Trowa, who is now waking up* W: What do you mean, 'JUST WUFEI'?!?! Hey! I'm talking to YOU guys! *spits out more sand* J: Huh? *turns her attention back to Wufei* Hey, Wufei! I didn't know you were on the ship! *looks suspicious* Did you stowaway? W: No! The honorable Wufei does not do such things! *spins around and points at Quatre* YOU asked to to help you with all of your fffff...ilthy weak JUNK, remember, Winner?! Q: *suddenly remembering* Oh yeeaaaahhh..... *shrugs apologetically* Sorry, guys. It was too much for me to carry by myself. D: I guess it's alright, Quatre. *walks over to the boat and whistles slowly* Wooaah.... our boat is trashed. Everyone (including the now consious Trowa) bundles over to the mass of firewood Duo stands by, looking at it in abject horror. M: You mean to tell me we're STRANDED on this ISLAND without any food, fresh water, or a change of CLOTHES?!?!?! O_o D: Not really. All of our stuff was thrown clear of the boat when we....um.... 'docked' here. Look! *gestures off into the distance, where all of the suitcases and stuff the gang brought had been neatly stacked up by the storm. J: Nifty! I was worried I'd have to spend all of my time here in my bikini! *strolls off towards her stuff humming* H: *glares at Duo* D: What?! She would have found it anyway! H: Whatever. *Everyone starts to walk down the beach* W: *still angry about everyone overlooking him* I'm even in the THEME SONG!!! How could you overlook the THEME SONG?!?! T: I'm sorry, did you say something? W: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHH!!!! INJUSTICE!!!! Later that night!: Everyone sits around a fire made by Trowa - he's not the Professor for nothin', ya know!!- , eating some coconuts and.... other island stuff. They have fish! T: Isn't it odd how all of the vital stuff - the engine, the flares, the radio we can use to call for help - all got destroyed, but Quatre's crystal vase survived? H: Yeah, that boat I stole from that fat guy was a real peice of trash. J: You STOLE the BOAT?! O_O H: Yeah. Is that a problem? J: *faints anime style* D: Quatre.... WHY did you bring a crystal vase? Q: *shrugs* I bought it right before we got on the boat, and I couldn't just LEAVE it there! D: Oh. That makes sense. I guess. M: So how are we gonna get off this island? We've been lucky so far, finding all of this food, and fresh water, having almost all of our stuff survive intact, and building huts, tables, and a complete bathhouse with running hot and cold water out of the plentiful resources here.... *continues to ramble on* D: *ignoring Milliardo* So, Jade. Why are you the only girl who came on our trip? J: Oh! ^_^ I'm a cousin of Quatre's , and he invited me to come along. I hope you guys don't mind. T: But you're the only girl on an island with five other guys.... W: *interrupts* THERE ARE SIX!! YOU ARE FORGETTING ME AGAIN!!! T: Five, six, whatever. Don't you know what that means? J: Yeah! I get a hut all to myself!! T: No! That's not what I meant! J: Um.... I get to force you guys to help with the cooking? T: NO!! YOU MIGHT GET.... INVOLVED.... WITH ONE OF US!!! *Everyone spills their dinner - Jade at Trowa's outburst, and the guys at this sudden revelation* J: OH. Nope. Not gonna happen. D: H-how do you KNOW? J: I'm writing the fic! *smiles broadly, as everyone else faints anime style* M: I'm going to bed. I'm bunking with Quatre, right? D: Yep! Heero and Trowa are sharing a bunk, and I THINK I've got one to myself.... W: *interrupts* NO! There are four huts, which means I shall be bunking with YOU, Maxwell! D: Oh. In THAT case, Trowa, you bunk with Wu-man. T: .... W: IT'S WUFEI, MAXWELL!! D: Whatever. Q: Goodnight, everyone! J: Goodnight, Qua-chan! Q:*blushes considerably before running into his hut* J: And goodnight Du-chan, Hee-chan, Trowa-chan, Milli-chan, and Wu-man.... I mean...... Wu-chan! *skips off into her hut* D: *sighs happily* H: Hn. *blushes slightly* T: *expression cannot be seen underneath his uni-bang* W: *somewhat shocked by a display of affection* What?..... M: Why does everyone call me that? The next morning!: Jade is humming happily while making breakfast - tropical fruit salad! With coconut! - when Quatre and Milliardo emerge from their hut, lookng rested. They are soon followed by Duo, looking bouncy as usual, Heero, looking emotionless as usual, and Trowa, whose expression STILL cannot be seen underneath his uni-bang. J: Hey, all! Good morning! D: Ooh! Food! And good morning, too! H: Hn. M: Wow, that actually looks edible. *ducks a punch from Jade* Kidding! Kidding! T: .... *stomach growls* Q: Thanks for making breakfast.... *sits down at the table made yesterday by Heero* J: Oh, no prob! Brekkie is the most important meal of the day! M: *whispers to Quatre* Brekkie? Q: *whispers back* She's really big on British slang.... ^_^;; As everyone starts snarfing down their ....brekkie.... Jade is nagged by a feeling that all is not right.... J: Hey, where's Wu-chan? D: *confused* Who? H: I think she means Wufei. D: * REALLY confused* WHO? H: ....Wu-man. D: OH!! I think I saw him heading for the bathhouse, still muttering about being covered in sand. In the bathhouse!: W: *sneezes* ( <== Classic Anime Moment! Sneeze When People Talk About You! ) Back outside!: Q: So what shall we do today? M: Oh, I don't know... how about...TRY TO.. D:*interrupts* Take over the world? *hums the theme to 'Pinky & the Brain' quietly* M: NO, Duo.... TRY to get RESCUED!! J: I'm gonna take a bath first. *glares at the stampede by everyone but Quatre for the bathhouse* ALONE!!! D: Aw maaaannn.... H: Shut up, Duo. D: You ran to the bathhouse too! H: ....Omae o korosu. D: Don't get so worked up over it, it's a normal thing for a GUY to do....*turns and looks at Quatre* Q: *turns slightly green* She's my COUSIN!! M: I'm going to take a bath after Jade. D: I'm gonna go wait outside her hut for her. H: Why? She already said she's NOT gonna get involoved with anyone.... D: No.... I think she took the remains of breakfast with her. At the bathhouse again!: Jade stands outside, wrapped in a towel and holding all the bathhouse essentials. J: Oi! Wu-chan! Come on out, I NEED this bath! W: Quiet, weak onna! I am almost done! J: Kami, you've even missed brekkie! You'll be all wrinkly and grapey when you come out! The door suddenly swings open, revealing Wufei dressed and holding all of HIS bath stuff. W: There! I am done! Are you HAPPY now, ONNA?! J: *points to something yellow in Wufei's little bundle* Is that a rubber ducky? W: *blushes* Do not make fun of Mr. Quackers! J: I wasn't, it's just that.... MR. QUACKERS?! *bursts into hysterical laughter* As Wufei bundles off, Jade stumbles, still laughing, into the bathhouse and proceeds to .... take a bath, what else? The REST of the gang, however, is busy with something a little less relaxing.... Q: Why aren't you guys more enthusiastic about fixing up the huts? D: Because it's not FUN, Quatre. T: True that. H: I refuse to help set up your room, Quatre. Q: *Gets all serious*Heero, it is your MISSION to help fix up the huts. H: *goes into a trance* Mission accepted! *comes out of trance* Damn! Q: Hee hee hee... I love doing that. M: *comes back from Duo/Heero's hut* I finished putting away all of Duo's video games and Heero's gun collection. Q: Great! You can go see if Jade's finished with her bath, and I'll finish up with our hut. M: Fine with me. Duo and Heero glare at Milliardo's retreating back. Trowa finishes putting away all of Quatre's pointless trinkets and his stuff and stands around waiting. T: What should I do now, Quatre? Q: Umm.... whatever you want, I suppose. T: Excellent. Duo, can I play with your Gameboy? D: Sure, whatever. Q: Just be sure to plug it into that adapter you made, so all the batteries don't get used up. H: *Finishes setting up Jade's anime and manga collection* *goes into trance* Mission complete. *comes out of trance* D: O_o;; You should really seek therapy for that, Heero. H: Aren't you DONE yet? D: This TV/VCR combo thing is hard to set up WITHOUT ANY ELECTRICITY!! H: Just plug it into that adapter thing Trowa made... that guy's too smart for his own good. D: Done! I wanna watch Ranma 1/2! Q: Whatever you want! We're all done here. H: I think I'll stay here with you, Duo. D: Um... why? H: Because if I don't, Quatre will enevitably find something ELSE for me to do. D: I see your point. So Jade bathes, Duo and Heero become engrossed in Anime, Quatre tidies things up, Trowa demolishes 'Pokemon', and Milliardo gets ready for HIS bath. But what has become of .... that guy? W: *off meditating in the jungle* I sense another presence on this island..... a WEAK presence...... At the baththouse!: J: La la la laaaa *splashes* Wai! M: *knocks on door* Umm... Miss Jade? I need to take my bath now.... J: Oh! Righto, be out in a sec.... *towels off* M: *sweatdrops* Just take your time... really... ^_^;; J: *throws the door open, completely dressed* OK! Done! M: *sweatdrops again.... I guess it's hot outside, ne? ^_~* Great. Jade skips merrily off towards her hut, and Milliardo goes inside.... to take a bath! As Jade skips through the jungle, she feels that she is being followed... J: *suddenly stops skipping * Hmm..... all is not right.... *slowly turns around in a cricle* Hm.... oh well, guess I was just making things up! *continues on towards her hut* But fourther back in the jungle, we see a pair of eyes peering out from a buch of leaves.... watching.... J: *arrives at her hut* Helllooo... *opens the door and comes across Heero and Duo asleep across her bed, tired after a Ranma 1/2 marathon* AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! SHOUNEN AI !!!! *faints* H: *wakes up suddenly* Wh..what? *notices Duo asleep next to him* Oh, no, no... you've go it all wrong! I'm NOT GAY!! D: *snores* -o- H: *pushes Duo off the bed* Umm.. Jade? *regards the prone figure on the floor* Hoo boy.... D: *falls in a pile on the floor* Huhn.... *snores* Q: *rushes in with Trowa* We heard screaming! Did you hit Duo, Heero?! H: No.... it's a long story.... T: Why did Jade faint? H: That would be PART of the story, Trowa. T: .... J: *waking up* Ugh.... oh, Qua-chan! I just had the worst dream! Hee-chan and Du-chan were GAY, and they were sleeping in MY bed! *notices Duo on the floor, still asleep* OH KAMI !!! H: It's OK! Really! I'm not gay.... I can't really speak for Duo.... D: *suddenly wakes up* HEY!! I'm NOT gay!! H: So you say.... D: *glares at him* Oh, shut up, Heero. J: Thank Kami! Hey, why are all of my Ranma 1/2 tapes out of their boxes?! *Duo and Heero look away* Put them back, you guys... geez... Everyone stands around talking, when SUDDENLY Wufei runs into the hut! W: There are OTHER weaklings besides you ffff...ILTHY weaklings on the island! *everyone continues talking* HEY!!! I said there are OTHER.... LISTEN TO ME!! J: *just now notices Wufei* Oi! Hey there, Wu-chan! W: Do not call me that! J: Just trying to get along with everyone, that's all, Wu-chan.... W: Did you EVEN hear a word I said?! J: Um.... no. Not really, no. What about you guys? *turns to the rest of the group* D, H, Q, and T: Nope. J: *turns back to Wufei* Sorry, Wu-chan! Guess we didn't. W: *sighs heavily* I SAID.... M: *runs into the hut, interrupting Wufei* THERE ARE OTHERS ON THE ISLAND!! Q: * gets all wide-eyed with horror* Oh no! H: Is that really such a bad thing? M: They were PIRATES. T: I'd say that's a bad thing. D: Any hot pirate chicks? M: NO. J: What are we gonna do?! Q: I suppose we could call for help.... H: *sarcastic* With WHAT Quatre, your CELL phone? Q: *thinking* Yes, I suppose we could use it... D: *turns verrrryy slowly towards Quatre* You had..... a CELL phone.... this ENTIRE time?! Q: *shrugs* We're out of my range. M: *swings towards Trowa* Could you hook something up, so we could use it? T: *thinking*.... maybe. D: Good! Let's get right on it! Everyone but Wufei bundles out the door, leaving him in shock. W: BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO... J: *comes back in, interrupting* Come ON, Wu-chan! W: *hurries out after her, grumbling* I SAID not to call me that...... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cast singing, again!: "So this is the tale of the castways, They're here for a long, long time, They'll have to make the best of things, It's an uphill climb. Duo and Heero too, Will do their very best, To make the others comfortable, In the tropic island nest. (Duo: Why do WE have to do that? Jade: 'Cause you're like Gilligan and the Skipper! Duo: *all excited* Do I get a hat like Gilligan's?! Jade: *sighs* NO, Duo. Duo: Awww....) No phone, no lights, no motor cars, Not a single luxury (Trowa: Besides all that stuff I hooked up. Jade: Shush!), Like Robinson Crusoe, As primative as can be. So join us here each week my friends, You're sure to get a smile, From seven stranded castways, Here on 'Gundam Wing Isle'!! " ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That's the first part! Tell me what you think and REVIEW!!! 'Cause if you don't I won't write a second part! *snickers evily* Duo: Um... What if they really don't care? Jade: *smooshes him beneath the view of the audience* Um... heh heh heh ^_^;; REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!! And don't forget: REVIEW!!