Key:
~ denotes thoughts
"Good morning! Its a rainy day, with winds ranging from 15 to 20 mph and temperatures an unseasonable low. Lows in the 30s to highs in the upper 40's. Foggy from Tokyo Harbor to Osaka. Don't even bother to come out today. Too cold, too - " He leaned over and close the radio. Walking quietly, his back stiffly poised, he lifted a corner of the curtain and stared out into the rainy Tokyo streets. He shivered as he watched the cars rumble by, puffing out cold wisps of smoke. The wind blew the tree that stood outside the shop's door.
~ What a way to start the weekend.~ he thought as he walked back to the counter and poured himself a cup of old coffee. ~Old joe and a broken CD player. Radio isn't playing any good songs. What a bore.~ He sniffed at the liquid in his cup and made a face. ~And we need a new coffee machine. ~
Ken turned, a mug in hand as Omi ran down the staircase, his slippers pounding down the wooden steps. Ken leaned against the counter, as he sipped his coffee and watched quietly as Omi slid across the hardwood floor, carrying ceramic pots and water cans. With a grunt, Omi dropped everything he carried in his arms onto the counter and turned to Ken, his face angry and eyes slanted.
"Look at this order, Ken-kun." Omi reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of paper. Ken looked at it with one interested eye as he scanned the paper scribbled with Ran's kanji, as stiff and straight as the red head himself. Omi pounded the counter as he lowered himself to pick up a roll of blue ribbon that fell from his apron pocket. "15 flower arrangements for a garden party. 6 rose bushes to be transplanted into these pots. Every jasmine and tulip plant needs cutting and transplanting in bigger pods. 34 bouquets to arrange and deliver across town. Then tomorrow, we have to help make floral arrangements for this funeral in Kyoto. Damn it Ken-kun, we're not going to have a good day." grunted Omi as he pulled Ken's apron off the hooks and threw it at him. "And I had plans to go to the mall and buy some clothes with the crappy paycheck Ran gave me two days late."
Ken looked at Omi as he lowered his coffee cup. "Omi, you need to chill for a while." Omi turned to Ken as he angrily jabbed the order. "Its all full of shit, Ken-kun! Ran and Yoji leave early last morning for what, a FLOWER CONVENTION while you're left behind to baby-sit me. Plus, he leaves enough orders to destroy my whole weekend."
Ken pulled up a stool for Omi as he dragged buckets of shimmering crimson carnations, brilliant tiger lilies, tulips and white baby's breath to the counter. "Well, think about it this way." replied Ken cheerfully as he picked up the buckets and set them between him and Omi. "What way? That I can make about 6000 yen more then I usually do?" grunted Omi as he picked up a carnation and shook its end to drop off excess water back into the bucket.
Ken lowered himself in a stool as he glanced at Omi from across the counter. "Omi... don't be so bitter."
Omi pounded the counter again as he placed a pot in front of him. Dropping in chunks of foam and moss, Omi flatten the mixture with his palm before he spread dirt over it. "Yeah, Ken-kun, if you haven't notice Ran is being a complete bitch to me. Every order has 'Omi finish up everything in the shop and Yoji and I will deliver first thing tomorrow morning.' or its "Omi you better not leave the store until every order is filled out.' I mean what the hell have I done to him?"
Omi looked at Ken, his eyes imploring for Ken to reply as he reached out for a rose. "Well, Ken-kun, what do you think?"
~I think you're blowing this out of proportion like you always do. I think you should stop asking me for my opinions and do what you want to do, Omi. I think you should - ~
"You should screw Ran and just forget all the orders. He has no right to boss you around like a friggin' slave. Him and his attitude is getting on my fucking nerves." Ken blinked as he heard the anger that poured out of his own mouth. Omi looked equally shocked as Ken lowered his face to the pot he was working on.
The shop was quiet as the clock ticked away the seconds. ~ There I go again, shooting off my mouth. I really hope that I learn to control this mouth of mine. Remember, Hidaka, you have no opinions anymore. Or rather you do, but they're always wrong. ~ Ken bit his lip in thought as he sneaked a glance at Omi and when he saw Omi looking back at him, Ken cleared his throat and said softly,
"I mean, Omi, you need rest. Leave the orders to me and you get out and have a weekend of your own enjoyment."
Omi shook his head as he wrapped ribbon around the finished flower pot and placed it at the far end of the counter. "Never mind, Ken-kun. I shouldn't leave you behind." Omi smiled as he grabbed another pot and snipped at the ends of a blood red rose. "Besides, I won't mind being able to buy an extra burger this week."
Omi turned the rose he was holding in his palm as he continued to talk. "Ran said all these bouquets have to be roses but I think its tacky, don't you think? I mean, like Yoji said tiger lilies are better because girls find it more attractive but I don't think so either. Talking about that, Ken-kun, there's this girl at school and she's always following me around. It gets so annoying sometimes that I can't even stand it." Omi laughed to himself as he ran a wet hand through his hair. "Man, listen to me talk, I sound like a girl."
Ken watched as Omi continued to work on the flowers, snipping, arranging, fixing and twirling. He stared at his own work and blinked at the half finished pot that stood before him. The roses were slanted, and the tulips were crooked as a result of Ken's weak flower skills. He eyed the pots that Omi finished and shook his head. He lowered his head in self defeat as he tried to fix the mess before him.
~ I'm pathetic. I'm not even good at flower arranging as the others. I can't cook, I'm not a genius. I can play soccer, but not good enough to play professional. Girls look at me, flirt with me, but never come back. I'm a flunky to Ran, just a slave. I'm a loser. ~
"No, you're not, Ken-kun." piped up Omi. Ken blinked away tears that suddenly formed in his eyes as he stared at Omi. "What did you say, Omi?"
Omi smiled sweetly at him as he lowered the bouquet he was working on. "You're not a loser. A dork maybe, but defiantly not a loser."
"I didn't even think I spoke that out loud." "You don't. You mumble."
"I do?"
Ken blushed as Omi laughed. "You have a tendency to do that sometimes. But don't worry, it only happens around me." Omi shook his head as his eyes traveled from across the counter to Ken's own. "Listen, Ken-kun, you're not a loser. You're not anybody's slave. Just like how I'm nobody's slave. So cheer up."
Ken shook his head as he grabbed hold of Omi's arm and punched it roughly before his tan hand traveled up Omi's head to mess up Omi's hair. "Cheer up huh? What about you? You were bitchin all this morning, so don't feed me any of your shit."
Omi squirmed under Ken's hold as he looked up at Ken's green eyes. "Well, I get cranky in the morning."
Ken released Omi and leaned against the stool. "As I was saying, think about this way, Omi. You get to see me for the whole weekend." Omi let out a laugh as he scrambled to his side of the counter. "Oh wow, should I be overjoyed or what?"
"Dork."
"Hey Ken-kun?" Omi was seated on the counter, the finished pots and bouquets all packaged and ready to go piled before him. Ken was sweeping the floor, gathering fallen leaves and petals with his broom. "Yeah, Omi?"
Omi fiddled with his fingers as he watched Ken sweep. "If you ever stopped working with us, what would you do?" Omi blinked as he watched Ken's head snapped up with the sound of his question. "I mean, Ken-kun, you don't have to answer that. I'm just you know.... curious."
Ken leaned against the broom handle as he scrutinized Omi with his piercing green eyes. ~ I think I would jump off a bridge. Or maybe take so many fucked up drugs that I can't ever wake up. Or I hear getting shot in the head is nice. That's what I would do, but I know you don't want to hear me say that. ~
"I would go out to the country and start a school or something." Ken turned, so that his face would be hidden from Omi's ever knowing eyes. "Really?" Omi's voice was cheerful as Ken nodded slowly. "Yeah, I grew up in the country."
Omi smiled as he swung his legs back and forth, pounding against the counter. "How was it? Living far away from a city like Tokyo must have been something else altogether."
Ken turned to look at Omi's intense face and saw the hint of pride reflecting off Omi's blue eyes. ~ You're happy now, Omi. You must be proud of the fact that you got me to open the doors to my past. Yeah I grew up in the country but its as screwy as Tokyo. ~
"It was quiet, Omi and sometimes at night you could actually hear birds rustling in the woods inside of stupid cars. You could see stars, clear and bright and you thought you were never alone with so many animals watching you."
Omi smiled half dreamily as he leaned back. "Sounds nice. What made you move to .... um.. Kobe, right? That's where you lived before...." Omi's sentence trailed off as Ken nodded slowly.
"Some hotshot scout saw me playing soccer for my high school and asked me if I wanted to turn professional. I should have said no but I didn't."
"Oh." Omi's voice was mellow as Ken turned back to his sweeping.
"Yeah?"
"Let's go get a pizza or something."
"Sure whatever you say."
The fast food joint was warm and inviting as the jukebox rumbled out a tune that blended with the background. Ken leaned against the booth and rested his head against the cushion. ~ Pizza and jukeboxes. I feel like I'm 15 again. Man oh man, what a screwed kid I used to be. Smoking cigarettes, getting beers and wine to drink. I went out with girls but I remember their big tits rather then their names. I was never like Omi. ~
Ken turned his head to watch Omi ordering as he fiddled with a straw, his fingers tapping against the counter. ~ I wish I were like Omi. ~
Omi slid himself into the booth and looked at Ken's face, his eyes looking into Ken's. "Hey, wake up. You don't have to help pay the bill but you owe me one."
Ken sat straight as Omi peered at him. "Are you okay, Ken? What's wrong? You been acting weird."
Ken looked at Omi as he cupped his face with one hand. "Omi, I don't want you to listen to Ran and Yoji as much as you do right now. Listen to yourself Omi, you're always off saying Ran wants this, Yoji wants that. Why are you like that, Omi?"
Omi pulled his lips together in a tight grimace as Ken's face suddenly lost its hard look. "I don't want you to think I'm a bad person but its just that... I..."
Ken blushed as he twirled the straw inside his glass of Coke., the melting ice cubes tinkling against the glass. "I think its not fair that you're so smart and Ran and Yoji uses you like you're some sort of idiot. Its fucking stupid that you allow something like that to happen to you."
Omi turned to Ken and smiled again. "Are you sure you're not doing the same thing Ken-kun? You never said a word about the way you treat me." Omi then lowered his eyes to stare at his clasped hands. "Maybe you're using me like everyone else.
~ Omi, I won't use you. You have too much promise inside of you. You look at me, and if I do speak out my thoughts, you won't believe me. So what can say? That you have to trust me on this one? ~
Ken slipped his drink slowly and looked at Omi. "Believe what you want. Or believe what I'm saying. Best friends don't lie."
Omi suddenly let out a laugh as leaned back on the booth. "Listen to us, Ken-kun! We sound like some stupid soap opera. Look at how retarded we are." Omi paused as he loosen the scarf he wore over his leather jacket, and gracefully crossed his jeans clad legs. "Sometimes I wonder what's it like to have a normal teenager's life. If this it, well I hope I never die."
"Nah, Ken-kun, I didn't say that." Omi then leaned on his elbows as he looked at Ken, a smile twitching on his lips. "But, didn't we all, at one time and another, wish we were dead?"
~ You're the only one who talks to me and makes me feel that I have half the brain that you do. Thanks, Omi. I really do owe you one. ~
Ken sprawled his body over the booth as he peered at Omi who sat across him. Draping his arms over the booth, Ken picked up his drink and spoke again, his brown bangs falling against his cheeks. "Cheers Omi. Maybe we're wake up and find out that this fucking life is worth living after all."
Omi nodded happily as he clinked his glass against Ken's own. "Amen to that."
Ken turned on the lights of their apartment as Omi walked in behind him, carrying a pizza box. "Feels like home, doesn't it Ken?" Omi laughed as he tossed the box on the counter and tore off his jacket. "Smells like home too." Omi took off his shoes and ripped off his socks. "I wish this was home."
Ken lowered himself onto a faded blue armchair as Omi started to brew up a kettle of tea.
Ken turned to Omi and looked at him with questioning eyes. "How did you know?"
Omi suddenly smiled as he opened the door of the closet and pulled out a dust covered guitar case. "I found this when I was cleaning up the basement for Momoe-chan. It has your name on it"
Ken turned back to the blank TV as Omi placed the guitar gently on the floor at his feet. Ken looked at the case, his eyes blinking away tears. "I used to, Omi. Not any more."
Ken was silent as Omi bit back his lower lip. "I'm sorry, Ken-kun." whispered Omi as he walked into the small kitchen adjacent to the living room.
"Hey, Ken-kun." piped up Omi as he filled the teapot with streaming hot water. "Yeah, Omi?" Ken picked up the remote and turned on the TV as a baseball game blared on the small screen.
Ken's eyes never left the screen as he heard Omi heading off to his bedroom. "Thanks for what, Omi? You brought dinner."
Omi's brown head peeked in from the bed's doorway and softly, Omi spoke. "Thanks for the company. I hate being lonely."
Ken waited for the bedroom door to shut close before he bent down to run his fingers across the edges of the case. Gently he lifted its lid and picked up the shining guitar that laid inside. he turned off the TV as he cradled the guitar on his lap. He smiled before he spoke.
The door to the apartment was open, which surprised Ran and Yoji as they dragged buckets of exotic flowers to the door. "Wonder what's going on." asked Yoji as they both peered into the apartment.
His fingers was itching with the songs that cried out from the guitar. Every moment his fingers touched the cords, his body and spirit felt like one. Trembling, Ken pulled the collar of his shirt tighter around his neck before he once more plaid a rife of his own composing. He opened his mouth, and at first, the notes trembled with fear and gradually grew stronger with self confidence.
I wanted for the longest time, for someone
To rescue me, sing me freedom's song
I want to be released into the starlit sky
I'm a captive of my feelings
I can't let it flow
I'm a prisoner of my own broken heart
Love's light that I can't show
So whatcha gonna do?
When the devil's got his eyes on you?
So whatcha gonna do?
When you're your own captive?
Do you still believe?
That loves falls from the sky?
Do you still believe?
That each moment passing, is a moment gone?
So whatcha gonna do?
Do you still believe?
You're own captive?"
Ken closed his eyes as he kept on playing. Lost in his own world, away from everything that ever hurt him before, his fingers transported him into his own haven. Everything disappear, as the wind of his own melodies caught his tortured spirit and lifted him, higher and higher, closer and closer to heaven.
~ Omi, listen to me. I'm going to die, before you, before Ran, before Yoji. You're going to cry and say this fucking world is unfair. You'll try to kill yourself but I know you can't go through it. Omi, I know what's lies in my future but I'm not scared. ~
Ken slowly opened his eyes as his fingers calmed the wild strings. Looking up, he saw Omi in the hallway smiling at him. Ken lowered the guitar and wiped the tears that fell from his eyes.
~ I fucked everything in my life before. But not this time. I'm going to do something right for a change. ~
Ken stood up, and walked over to Omi, his guitar in hand. "You like it, Omi?"
Omi nodded as he let out a laugh. "Its amazing, Ken-kun!" Ken smiled as he offered the guitar to Omi. "Its yours. Lessons start at six sharp, and not a minute later."
His feet scuffled down the hallway as he heard Omi, Ran and Yoji, the ones he left behind, whispering in the kitchen. He smiled as he heard Omi test out the guitar for himself, and paused at the doorway to his bedroom.
~ Omi, from me to you. Maybe this will help you become free. You're just like me, Omi. A captive of your own feelings and thoughts. I can't change my life. But I can change yours. ~
~~~~~~>Return to Birth of Light