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OK, this should work....
Welcome to
Senshi Battle Zone!
This weeks fight is
Sailor Starmaker vs. an AOL disk!

Sarah: Shinji! *cheesy love music plays,runs in slow motion across the arena and plows straight into the wall*

Man in sparkling outfit: says*in annoyingly high lispy voice*Ummmm.......Sarah?

Sarah: Awwwwww! Why do those hallucinations always come at the wrong time? :( Anyway, Hello! And welcome to Senshi Battle Zone! I am Sarah filling in for Sailor Callisto and Jupiterkat who had to go shopping for some new metal-clad hot dog stands.

Man in sparkling outfit: *turns to the side and coughs*

Sarah:Oh! And this is my guest host, Richard Simmons!Any personal opinions Richard?

Richard Simmons:Sure Sarah! Sailor Starmaker all the way!An AOL disk? Don't go there girlfriend!*swings a rubber chicken around in the air*Plus Sailor Starmaker’s one cute chick!Orrrrr.....guy..ummmmmmmmmm....and step to the left!And the right!Now do the wind!Whoosh!

Sarah:Ummm..yeah well I'm afraid I have to disagree with you, AOL disk all the way!I mean can an outer senshi become a cool eye-patch for one eyed software pirate? I think not!

Richard Simmons: *dances ammuturishly*Shake shake shake! *clap clap* Shake shake shake!Shake your booty!

Sarah: Right!Now Richard just shake your booty over to the viewers opinio- oh *sweat drop* lets see ummmmmm... *fishes around in desk drawer and pulls out sock puppet* “Hello Frosty! What are your opinions?

Frosty:AOL disk!*tap dances on the table to the song ‘Singin in the Rain’*

Sarah:Awwwwww!Your so cute!*shoves Frosty in a drawer*

Richard Simmons:Yes well back to the fight!*turns chair so that it's facing the wall*Oh wait the fight's over here!

Sarah:Right!And here they are, Sailor Starmaker and the most amazing.. AOL disk! Richard; the giant Q-tip!

Richard Simmons: *hands Sarah the giant Q-tip and bows dramatically*

Sarah:*raises hand with the giant Q-tip in the air over a barrel*

barrel: THUMP!

Sarah: Sailor Starmaker is her fighting stance while the AOL disk is well, just sitting there doing nothing.

Sailor Starmaker: Star Gentle Uterus!

AOL disk: *covered in goo* .........

Richard Simmons: *rides around in circles on his unicycle* Yay!You go Starmaker!

Sarah: Sorry Richard but the all mighty AOL disk seems to be unharmed while Sailor Starmaker is in shock!*waves flags in air* Yes! Go AOL disk!

Sailor Starmaker: *blink blink*Oh you think you’ve got the best of me?

Sarah:Looks like Sailor Starmaker is running for the AOL disk!

Sailor Starmaker:ARRRGGGHHH!!!*trips on high heels* Oh_my_god!My earring broke!*fumbles in pockets for another neglecting the match*

Martha Stewart: Hi everyone!Today were going to make Apricot Chinese New year candles!!

Sarah: *whispers to Richard Simmons*What’s she doing here?

Richard Simmons:*crosses his legs and shrugs*

Martha Stewart:AIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Sarah:Well it looks like Martha has had a terrible run in with her once wonderful craft skills!

Martha Stewart:*runs out the door with he hair burning from the freshly lit candles that have come to be stuck in her hair*

Sarah:Well it doesn't look like she's coming back!

Richard Simmons: Good riddance!Her clothes were so last year!

Sarah:I agree! and now back to the fight it looks like Sailor Starmaker has snapped out of it and has decide to crush the AOL disk with her really cool high heel boots!

Sailor Starmaker: Hahaha!Have you any last words?

AOL disk:..........

Sailor Starmaker:I didn’t think so!

Richard Simmons:Well it looks like this is the end for the poor defenseless AOL disk!*giggles maniacally to himself*

Sarah: No!It can’t be!

CRASH!!!

Everyone: *turns and gasps*

Sailor Starmaker:*starts to slowly put her foot over the AOL disk*

Sarah: I knew it!The protectors of AOL disks have thrown the amazing “Teletubbies Riding on Insane Cattle” maneuver right
into Sailor Starmaker’s face!

Cattle:Mooooooooooooooo!!!!

Teletubbies:Horay!* steer the cattle in Sailor Starmaker’s direction*

Sailor Starmaker:Nooooooo!*cattle trample her*

Teletubbies:Again again!*they turn the cattle around and run over Sailor Starmaker once again*

Richard Simmons: Well, I guess this fight’s over!*poofs his frizzy hair*

Sarah:Yay! My lovely AOL disk wins!*picks up phone* Hello? Dominoes? I‘d like a large pepperoni pizza with extra anchovies!Thanks!Well everyone, Sailor Callisto and Jupiterkat will be back next week with a match between the AOL disk and The Amazons!So vote for my amazing AOL disk!

Frosty:Hey what about me????*starts crying*

Sarah:*shoves Frosty back in the drawer*Now I remember why I stopped talking to him!

Richard Simmons:Hey where’s my check?

Sarah:Ummm, in the drawer!

Richard Simmons:*starts looking in drawer*Hey it’s not in he-Sarah? hello? Hey!Who locked me in here?*starts to whine*This isn’t fair!

Sarah:*Running away*Gotta run frizz’ll eat me!Gotta run frizz’ll eat me!

Sailor Starmaker: 1

AOL disk: 92847

TA DA!!!!!!AIN"T IT WONDERFULL??