BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKAB A A K Dizzy Kitty "Baka-Yarou Chiri" K A A B _ /| _^^_ Stupid Jerk Chili B A \'o.o'( \ A K =(___)= ( ) (A Recipe Story) K A c.." ..cc--"\_? A B c./ by Kasumi Kawaii B A A K K ABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA The World Wide Wok now brings you... "KASUMI CAN COOK!!! (And Akane Can't...)" TODAY... "BAKA-YAROU CHIRI" ("Stupid Jerk Chili") * * * Ingredients; 8 cloves garlic (minced) 5 tablespoons soy sauce 5 tablespoons teriyaki sauce 5 tablespoons wok oil 4 pounds ground turkey meat 3 15-ounce cans diced tomatoes 2 medium yellow oninos (diced) 1 15-ounce can tomatoe sauce 1 cup water (optional) 1 package Carrolll Shelby's Origial Texas Brand Chili Kit 1/2 cup rice wine 1/3 cup seasoned rice vinegar 1/8 cup seaweed and egg sprinkles 1/8 cup sesame seed and sea salt sprinkles * * * Hello everyone and welcome to my humble kitchen! I have a real treat for you today! One of my VERY OWN recipes! Would you believe... a Japanese Chili Con Carne? One would think that Japanese and Mexican foods would not combine very well, but I was pleasantly surprised by my little experiment to honour our friends in America. I hope you like it! I call it "Baka-Yarou Chiri." NO, Akane-Chan, I did NOT name it after Ranma-Kun!!! Honestly! It isn't very polite to laugh at him that way! He IS your iinazuke, after all! Now don't scowl, dear... We're on the air now! I begin by browning each individual pound of turkey meat in one tablespoon of wok oil. At the moment, I only have this one small frying pan left because Akane-Chan ruined all of my others by hitting Ranma-Kun on the head with them! Please don't giggle so much, Akane- Chan... A wok would be even easier if you have one and would like to stir-fry all this together, but mine was blown up by Grandfather Happosai with potsticker bombs in episode 44... You can ALSO use chicken if you prefer, or even substitute hamburger, if you like, but red meat is not very Japanese to me! After all, we invented the snow cone and the phone card, but NOT McDonald's!!! ^_^ The wok oil makes the kitchen smell like a Japanese restaurant already, but ahhhhhhhhhhhh, what a delightful scent, ne? ^_^ While the meat is browning in the wok oil, I add one tablespoon of soy sauce, one tablespoon of teriyaki sauce and 1/8th of a cup of rice wine to EACH pound of meat! Don't worry... The sake will boil out, but DO NOT discard all these wonderfull juices! When the meat is done (about 10 to 12 minutes), I collect all the juices and add them to the meat in a 6-quart or larger stock pot with a good-fitting lid. This is a big help when it comes time to simmer everything. Now it's time to mince the garlic. It's VERY easy to mince your own garlic instead of spending a small fortune on store-bought minced garlic... Akane-Chan will now demonstrate how easy it is by smashing the little individual garlic cloves under her cleaver! But SLIDE the cleaver across as you crush them, Akane-Chan... Just pretend that poor little garlic clove is Ranma-Kun's head and make it totally flat, ne? ^_^ "HAI!!!" * S Q U I S H !!! * Akane-Chan has a VERY good technique for SOME reason! ^_^ Now I'll dice the onions. You can dice them as small as you like. I try for nothing larger than 10mm myself... Add the diced onions and the garlic together in your frying pan and fry them together for at least five minutes in the same mixture of soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and wok oil that you used for the meat, but you can skip the rice wine here. When they are a nice golden brown, dump them into your stock pot with your meat. Does it smell good to you yet? It does to me! ^_^ Now that all of this HARD work is out of the way, I let Akane-Chan add the seasoned rice vinegar, the seaweed and egg sprinkles (nori tamago furikake), the sesame seed and sea salt sprinkles (goma shio furikake), the tomatoes, the tomatoe sauce and water. You can get goma shio furikake and nori tamago furikake at most of the larger grocery stores and Asian food stores. The same for the Osake (rice wine) and the Osu (rice vinegar). BUT... As this is "Texas Chili," we do NOT use beans in this recipe! For this recipe, I will be using a product called Carroll Shelby's Original Texas Brand Chili Kit. It comes in a little brown paper bag. Open this bag and dump in the big red packet of spices (ground chili peppers, masa flour, cummin, oregano, garlic, onion, paprika and salt) and the little bag of cayenne pepper, but NOT the tiny bag of salt. If your chili seems a little too watery for you, you can add the little packet of masa (corn) flour to thicken it... I like to use kona (rice) flour to thicken with as it gives the chili a distinctive okonomityaki-like taste. That is how Ukyou-San likes her's. ^_^ Now, I KNOW the temptation to try this is overwhelming at this point when you first smell it all together in your stock pot, but TRUST me, ladies... You will be glad you waited. Bring your chili mix to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for AT LEAST three hours but NOT for four! Remember, this is JAPANESE chili, and everything done in fours or done four times is considered to be very bad luck to a Japanese. Just remember to stir your pot every half hour or so so that nothing sticks, all right? When your chili is done, you WILL love it! I was absolutely amazed at how well my very first attempt hard turned out, since I had never made chili con carne before in my entire life, but please keep in mind that chili con carne ALWAYS tastes better the NEXT day! The only problem you will have is in trying to figure out HOW to make your Japanese chili con carne SURVIVE that long! ^_^ Ganbatte kudasai! ^_^ Goodness!!! My humble kitchen is under panda sneak attack! Saotome Oji-Sama!!! Mou ii ja nai kudasai!!! This recipe makes 12 servings for people, NOT one big panda-sized serving! I thought pandas just ate bamboo... Maa!!! You KNOW chili gives you gas, Uncle Saotome! - * PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! * - Oh, no!!! Dare mo matchi suru shinai dayo kudasai!!! Akane-Chan, don't strike that match!!! * B O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O M!!! * My kitchen... "PANDA NO BAKA!!!" * W H A M !!! * * P O W !!! * * C R U S H !!! * The panda holds up a sign that says "Ite..." ("Owchie...") Akane-Chan, it isn't very polite to turn Uncle Saotome into a thin red panda-paste like that!!! Please put your giant mallet away now, dear... Oh, my... This is even WORSE than the time Akane-Chan tried to cook and she burned down half the kitchen! And that smell... I suppose the only thing WORSE than panda gas is IGNITED panda gas!!! Thank goodness this was Texas chili! If there had been any beans in it, the whole house might have gone up! * sigh * NEXT... "NABIKI NO OKANE FUKURO" (Nabiki's Money Bags) Dewa mata!!! ^_^ * * * Dedication; This story is lovingly dedicated to a woman I will always call Okaa-San, for she was like a second-Mother to me. She taught me how to cook when my own Mother refused to teach me, thinking that it would somehow make me worse than I already was. * * * Legal bakabakashii; Ranma 1/2 and all characters herein are copyright Rumiko Takahashi, Shougakukan, Kitty, Fuji TV and Viz Video. Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, Takahashi Rumiko-Sama (said with a bow of great respect). Suki dayo. My world would have been so much darker without Ranma. This story is a labour of love and no one may make a Sen off of it, OK? Sorry, but that goes for you too, Nabiki-Sama! ^_^ E-Mail Kasumi-Kawaii@AsianAvenue.com or... Kasumi-Kawaii@VizMail.com URL : http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/kasumiskitchen