If you ever wondered what it would be like to become an anime bishounen, or have thought about what you would do better as a bishounen, then I recommend you scroll down and read this list. These are mostly my ideas, unless otherwise credited, so feel free to e-mail me at the address on the bottom of this page. And by the way, I really do like bishounen and yaoi and so on, but I'm trying to do this from a guy's point of view, if you get what I'm saying. Comments and questions welcome, flames will be dodged. Thanks! ^_^
If I Ever Became a Bishounen...
...I would not go after the whiniest, no-talent, gluttonous girl on the show. I don't care if she's the main character!
... I WOULD go after the hot villian chick in the leather costume. ^___^
...If my gender is not immediately recognizable by the way I look, I will get a better haircut and/or wardrobe.
...or, if my gender is not immediately recognizable by the way I look, I will keep that look and hit on EVERYONE else on the show, regardless of gender, for maximum confusion value.
...I will make sure my voice actor is male, no matter HOW good they say the woman seiyuu is.
...I will not let American dubbing companies change my name to something girly just because I'm a pretty boy. (ie; Yukito [from Card Captor Sakura]=Julian)
...I will have really awesome powers, so if anyone gives me grief about my looks, I can open a can of whoop-ass on them.
...I will not wear makeup, unless I really WANT to be hit on by guys.
...I will not cross-dress. See above for reason.
...I will not cross-dress, wear makeup, or get too friendly with other male characters, unless I LIKE being put into yaoi fanfics.
...I will read ahead in the script. If I'm supposed to end up dying (which is very likely), I will either take over as main character or become the comic relief. They CAN'T kill the comic relief!
...If there is no way for me to weasel out of dying, I WILL put on the most tear-jerking, heart-rending death scene you've ever imagined! (Nuriko, eat your heart out! ^_^)
...I will be at least part demon. All the best bishounen are demons or part demon in some way. (ie; Zelgadis, Xellos, Dark Schneider, Valgaav, Inu-Yasha, etc...
...I will avoid other bishounen. They cramp my style.
...I will avoid bishoujou as well. Unless they aren't quite as pretty as me. Then they can hang around to make me look better.
...I will keep away from Tomo (Fushigi Yuugi).
...I will appear on Dragon Ball Z and steal all the cute girls. They don't stand a chance against me.
...I will be a VERY fast runner, so the DBZ guys don't catch me and turn my ass into hamburger.
...I will be intelligent. If I've got the beauty, why not the brains?
...I will either have black, purple, blue, green... Aw, what the hell, chicks dig me no matter what color my hair is. ^____^
...I will not have pink hair, I will not have pink hair, I will not have pink hair, I will not....
...I will not appear on Fushigi Yuugi. They already have a monopoly on hot bishounen....
The following suggestions were submitted by Bethany. Thanks so much for these!
...I will be misunderstood. It worked for Sephiroth, didn't it? (Final Fantasy Seven)
...I will be nice to the klutzy/scatterbrained/whiny/panicky/whatever young girl I see nearly every day. More than likely, she will wind up being important in some way and it would really suck if she wouldn't help me because I was mean to her.
...I will make sure that my fan club is kept in line at ALL times.
...Or, I will not have a fan club at all. They tend to get in the way.
...I will be nice to the fanfic authoress, I will be nice to the fanfic authoress, I will be nice to the fanfic authoress...
...I will seduce the authoress. Then I'll be set for life.
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