Warning: Lemon alert!!!
Another Murder of Crows: Part 40
I stared out of the window even though there wasn't anything to see. Since there weren't any streetlights, and I wasn't feeling enterprising enough to set up candles along the grounds, it was completely black at night. So instead I watched my own reflection waver with the movements of the fireplace. It was the only thing I could do. The house was quiet, I couldn't hear or see the crows, and everyone was asleep. I didn't know what Krahe was up to, but he was being quiet. That was nerve wracking enough.
I ended up falling asleep after Duo and I talked, but I was rudely awakened by a foot being shoved into my mouth. Well, to be more accurate, Duo's braid somehow got wound around Wufei's neck, then he woke up and tried to throttle Duo, who incidently planted his foot in my face trying to break away. The commotion woke Heero up, and Dorothy threatened to plunk all of their eyebrows if they ever scared her like that again. Needless to say my heart was bouncing around in my chest as they settled back down. Everyone was going to be alright. Wufei's fever had broken by this time, and his little tantrum wore him out, so he was back asleep within a matter of minutes. Heero did his usual snort and rolled back over as Duo went about his noisy snoring routine. That was good enough for me.
The only thing was that Trowa wasn't there.
I got up in a slight panic and started up the stairs to find out what was going on when Dorothy told me to rest because she, Relena and Trowa were talking. I raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, even though my curiosity was definitely at an all time high. Trowa and Dorothy I understood. They've talked in the past before about anything and everything, especially if it was on strategics and war tactics. They weren't friends, and I don't think they even consider themselves acquaintances, but they had an understanding between them that no one, not even Wufei could tap in to. They just have a mysterious way with one another I guess. But Trowa and Relena? Talking? THAT I couldn't see. I don't think they've ever been in the same room together or even seen each other in person until we all met in the Sanc Kingdom. Maybe on that dinner double date they learned a few things about each other. Who knows.
After that, I came back down and did sleep for a while, then woke up and came by the window. Everyone was upstairs in what was Duo's room, sleeping on the bed. It was almost as big as mine. It was pretty much agreed upon that my room was off limits, and that everyone should stick together and away from me. I preferred it that way. I think the girls were afraid that the crows would come back, which was still possible. They technically could come in through a portal door that leads out, but I didn't think they would. There was...something about it that lead me to believe they couldn't do that. It would be wrong. Improper even.
I will admit though that I felt absolutely alone and ashamed. We were in a dire situation and all I could think about was Trowa's kisses and the way his arms felt around me. I threw my arms around myself, trying to mimic the feeling but it didn't work. It wasn't the same. I guess nothing can compare to the real thing once you've had it.
The smell of cold water suddenly came into being and my back stiffened in fear. I tried to look for Krahe out of the corner of my eye even though I knew it was useless. He could be in any form or invisible. I especially won't be able to see him if he was the latter. He shouldn't be here though. We had a deal. He said...
I felt eyes on me. They were staring at me hard, nearly burning a hole into the back of my neck. I slowly turned my head, trying to go into the direction where I thought the intense energy was coming from. It wasn't a bad feeling, just very strong. Overbearing almost. And I couldn't place what it was either. It wasn't hatred, I knew that much, but it wasn't nice either. Whatever the feeling was, it had been extremely misguided.
I saw that it was Trowa standing on the stairs. He was holding a candle to his face in a manner that highlighted his face but hid the rest of his body. He was looking at me with an intensity that I've never seen on him. It made me uncomfortable actually. I've known Trowa for a while now, and knowing how he behaved I knew this wasn't normal for him. He would at least say something or make a noise, not just stand there and look at me. At least I hope he wouldn't.
He didn't say anything, only stared at me for another minute before turning and slowly going back up the stairs, his eyes never leaving my face. I stared at the spot he just vacated, shocked speechless. What on Earth and the colonies was that? I knew we all had our problems and our various weird ways, but that was too weird, even for Trowa.
Despite every voice in my head that screamed in the highest pitch possible that this was a bad idea and for me to stay put, I went ahead and followed Trowa up the stairs. I was never one to do anything sensible anyway. It was just that his behavior had struck a cord with me so deeply that I couldn't ignore it even though I tried. This was beyond bizarre in my opinion.
Even though the stairway and hallway lacked any light, I could see the moon's rays slithering along the floor from my bedroom. The door had been left cracked open a bit to allow some light but also to inform me of where he had gone to. That was another thing I didn't like. I knew Trowa loved me and I loved him, but I didn't think we were to the stage of playing sex games. Even if we were, this was not the place to have one.
I gently opened the door the rest of the way using my foot and stepped inside. The smell of water invaded my nose once again, this time extremely strong. I looked about quickly, expecting to see Krahe's face flash along the wall or something ridiculous like that. Well maybe it wasn't so ridiculous after all. I mean, he did appear in my mirror. His face could appear on the floor for all I know. Not spotting him, I turned to Trowa to find out what he was doing. He was standing in front of the window, staring at his refection I assume, with his back to me, arms crossed and unmoving.
"Trowa, what's gotten into you? You're not acting like yourself."
"I don't understand how you can love him. He has the personality of a zombie."
Trowa turned from the window and walked up to me, stopping at a breath's length. When he turned from the window, I noticed my ring on his pinky finger and Duo's cross around his neck. I clutched my fists into tiny balls and looked up into Trowa's beautiful face, angered now more than I remember ever being. "Krahe, release him."
He bent down and lightly kissed me on the nose. I didn't budge. "No." He started to walk around me then, examining me as if I was a horse he was contemplating on buying.
"This was not part of the deal," I said, watching him circling around me. "HE was not part of the deal. I told you and you agreed--"
"Well I'm offering you an addendum to our current agreement," he said with an air of confidence. "Seeing how you love this...person," he gestured to Trowa's body, "and he seems to care for you, although not as much as me, I propose this. I can inhabit his body until you become more comfortable with me and am able to love me and not him."
"No no no. You don't get it." I grabbed Trowa's arm as he made another pass by me, and forced myself to look into his eyes. It hurt me to see how vacant they were, and it hurt me to see beyond them. I could see Trowa struggling with the darkness just as Duo did, trying to fight against an invincible enemy. Krahe had complete control over his body, and he wasn't able to do anything about it. "There's no need to possess him like this. I don't want Trowa. I don't love him. I was just saying that."
"You are such a terrible liar Quatre," Trowa said with Krahe's voice. "And you wouldn't say something like that just to be cruel. It isn't in your nature. I know how you feel about him. I know that you wouldn't be able to say ‘no' if he asked something of you."
I scoffed. "Bullshit."
Trowa's eyebrows shot up to his hairline as his eyes widened. "Whoa. Somebody wants to get out the big guns now, huh?"
I did not like the mock tone he had in his voice. "I am not a child believe it or not, and I have also rejected your addendum. So much for me saying not being about to say ‘no' to Trowa. Now release him. This will not work on me."
He shook his head--or rather, Trowa's head--and smiled so smugly it made Trowa's face look, I don't know, evil. That's the only word I can think of. "No no no, my angel. You see, I haven't begun trying to persuade you yet." Trowa reached out and grabbed my wrists, pulling them down and forcing my arms to remain at my sides.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm seducing you," he said as Trowa bent down to kiss me.
He knew it all. Krahe knew my weaknesses and my wants. He also knew my strengths and my faults. I wanted and needed Trowa so much that it became a tangible substance, alive and colorful as any other thing on this planet. But at the same time, Trowa's feelings were mutual, open and flowing freely as if it were the air. It was a mistake that he told me how he truly felt, because Krahe heard it. However, it was profoundly stupid of me to admit it back to him. I should've been more careful.
I stopped mentally berating myself when I felt my back come into contact with something soft that gave in slightly to my weight. I felt Trowa's body climb on top of mine, and that was when I realized I was lying on the bed. He was still kissing me, and unfortunately I was kissing him back. I didn't have the will to stop. Even though Krahe possessed Trowa, it was still Trowa. It was his hands that were touching me, not Krahe's. It was his lips pressed against my lips, his skin touching mine as our shirts started to ride up. The scent of water wasn't permeating the room like it did before. I only smelled Cool Water, which I was beginning to believe was Trowa's natural scent. His body wasn't cold like Krahe's, but hot. Everything Krahe wasn't, he was...
Trowa pulled back and gazed at me, running a finger along my cheek. The moon seemed to be directly in front of my window, providing us all of the light that we could possibly need. It haloed his entire body, taking my breath away more so than he already was. I couldn't take it.
I gave in.
I reached up and pulled Trowa's head back down, kissing him as passionately as I could. I wanted him to remember this night for the rest of his life. I wanted him to remember me being this way, and years down the line, I wanted him to know that no one loved him the way I did. I didn't want anyone to ever be able to compare to me, and I was going to make sure of it.
I flipped him on his back and rolled on top, straddling him on his waist. I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it to the side, leaned over him and started to push his shirt up with my nose as I used my tongue to leave a wet trail in the shirt's wake. His hands dug deeply into my back, kneading the muscles there and urging me on. I continued on my quest, as slowly as I could possibly stand, until I reached a new destination.
I pinned his arms down with my own and used my legs to spread his apart. Using my tongue again, I licked around his nipple then blew my breath over it to make it harden even further. My reward was Trowa arching his back in an effort to rub against me, though he was helpless because I had him pinned down. I smiled in spite of myself. I liked making Trowa squirm.
This time I licked the nipple itself, bit it gently with my teeth, and blew over it again. Trowa managed to loosen my hold on him a bit, but not much. It was enough however, to allow him to press his clothed erection against my stomach, reminding me of better things to come. I growled in hunger as I turned my attention to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first. This time, a whimper escaped his throat that made me so hot I'm surprised the bed didn't melt. Everything he did, whether he touched me or moved, had me turned on so much it was painful. As much as I would have liked to take my time to make this last all night, I knew I wouldn't be able to. This had gone on too long for our bodies to handle.
I kissed my way up his neck, reveling in the way our bare chests slid against one another, and kissed him so deeply I nearly choked him. When I pulled back, I looked into Trowa's eyes and saw a lust there that mirrored my own. His eyes weren't vacant anymore. He was in there. He was here with me, touching me and kissing me with as much vigor as I had him. He loved me. This was right.
Unconsciously, his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. The movement was fast, but not fast enough that I didn't notice it. That innocent action sent my hormones into overdrive and completely dominated my actions. Taking his hand, I pulled my ring off of his finger and dropped it somewhere near the foot of the bed. I jerked at the necklace then, snapping the chain and tossing it in the same direction as the ring. I sat back and grabbed Trowa's jeans, nearly ripping them off of his body. My pants flew off next, followed by his shirt, our socks and boxers. From there I slowed back down again in an effort to savor every minute I could.
I don't know how long we did this, but it was for a while. I touched every crease and crevice of Trowa's body, and in turn he memorized every part of mine. There were periods of time when we kissed as if by stopping we would die, or we would do nothing but lay tightly against each other, simply watching our hands glide along our bodies in sheer fascination. I had never felt so good before in all of my life.
I don't know why I decided to do this, but the impulse came to me and I decided to act on it. Rolling back on top of Trowa, I kissed him as deeply as I could without hurting him, and placed my index finger inside of him to start preparing him. He flinched a little from the contact but did nothing to stop me. After a while, I added a second finger, making sure that I wasn't going to hurt him. This would be uncomfortable enough, I didn't want to make it any worse.
I added the third finger and realized then that I wouldn't need any lubricant. I didn't know what it was, but Trowa was somewhat--well--moist from our activity. I couldn't blame him really. It did feel like it was two hundred degrees in the room, and that would be to our advantage, especially since I wanted this evening to go well. I love Trowa and I wanted to do this with him, and I wanted it to be special.
I pulled all of my fingers out and took a breath, completely nervous beyond words. I waited a long time for this moment, and now that it was here, I was afraid to take that step. Trowa sensed this I believe, because he gave me a sweet smile before he brought my head down and kissed me. I could only see that as a sign of willingness. Taking the hint, I gently eased my way inside of him, pausing every few seconds until his muscles relaxed. I also had to pause on my behalf. It was the most unique and...incredible feeling I have ever had, and I wanted to go to those heights with Trowa.
I started to move in and out slowly, and the sensation nearly drowned me. Trowa's reaction was almost the same as mine, the way he grabbed the sheets in a vice like grip as I grabbed the sheets by his head. The feeling was great, but with every movement it multiplied by ten, making each shock wave to my stomach tighter until I thought that I would explode. Seeing Trowa about to reach that threshold, I balanced myself with my good arm and started to stroke him with my left. Unfortunately, because of the injury, I wasn't fairing too well but it didn't seem to matter. After a few strokes he came, splattering his seed all over us. I came a microsecond later, driving deep into him as I felt myself literally explode inside of him. Vision blurred with pleasure, I laid to his side and paused for a few minutes, watching as we both started to come down from our high before I started over. We ended up making love again, and again, and then again.
When I had nothing left to give and he was unable to take anymore, we passed out right where we were on the bed, the comforter tangled between our bodies. I laid awake for a while, listening to Trowa's breathing and enjoying the way his heart beat felt against my chest. I absently rubbed his back as I stared at the moon. I understood now what Duo had meant. I understood why he didn't care what I or anyone else thought of him. He wanted a piece of Heero. Just one last piece. He didn't know that their relationship was coming to an end when it did. So in spending that night with Heero he was just saying goodbye; taking his final bow on stage before the spotlight faded, and having the chance to enjoy it.
I knew that this would be it. I knew that this would be the only time I would have with Trowa, to have him like this. So I knew to take the opportunity when it presented itself. It will hurt him later I know, but at least he will be able to say that he had me, and that for a while I belonged to him and only him.
I'll also be able to say that I had him. For one night I owned this beautiful man that I have loved ever since I met him. Even though his life will go on, he will never be able to forget me, and I have taken my piece of him. I have said goodbye.
I've written, directed and starred in my own show. Now, as the spotlight fades, I take my bow.