Welcome back to another exciting addition of Malachite and Zoicite's Lazy-Ass Fun Time Comics, where we can never decide what name to call anyone!
And we're both men, no matter what they want you to think!
How was shopping for androgynous clothes?
Fine. Until somebody got caught shoplifting...
I was practicing for a movie...
You went shopping for androgynous clothes without us?
Beat it, you lousy transvestites!
Hey!
In the name of transvestites, we shall punish you!
Now, look what you've done...
I can't help it if I'm all man, all the time.
Prepare to feel the wrath of my serious laser!
And my sensitive inferno!
And my gentle uterus!
Oh god...
Gentle uterus?
Shut up! It's a powerful and terrifying attack...
With a stupid name.
Who insulted transvestites?
Zoicite. He's just jealous because I'm prettier than he is.
I ate your mom for dinner last night.
What?
In the name of transvestites, we will also punish you!
We? I dress like a normal person.
Can I hide here again?
Sure!
No. Because if you're here--
We're baaaack!
Crap.
Someone tell Yamhead that I'm not talking to her until she gives me a decent explanation for cheating on me.
It doesn't count! You were dead!
Why does this always turn into petty bickering?
You usually start it.
I wasn't dead! I'd been reborn!
I'll dress however I want.
You disappeared with Puu and the kissing cousins...and without any explanation!
Everyone, stop fighting! You have the power of love on your side!
Rini, is that you?
And who is he?
Aww, crap...
And I want you three to know that I'm the original mysterious woman who dresses like a man!
And I'm a better football player than you'll ever be!
Can I have my flute back?
I'll kill you!
Calm down, Amara.
I...I don't know what you're talking about...
I'm bored...
Despite all of our differences, I'm sure we all have something in common...we could just agree to disagree...
And that carnies suck.
What?!
He does have a point...
Hotaru, I'm sorry I've made you a cuckold several times over.
Let's never fight again!
What?!
Oh, hell...
I guess we can put aside our differences...
We just bought a hot tub...want to come over?
Sure!
Why don't we have a hot tub?
Soon enough, my pet. Soon enough.
Who is she?
Who is he?
I can explain...
Hello, ladies...
Ugh, more carnies...
Ooo, sailor crystals!
Quick, Sailor Star Maker! Use your Star Gentle Uterus attack!
Shut up, Seiya.
This is Peruru. He's a fairy who looks after my dreams.
Who's a fairy?
I see you're into leather...
There's only two things I don't trust: girls who dress like boys--
Hey!
And men who dress like crap.
Give me back my bell, you two timing strumpet!
He's the horse?
I prefer the term "equine American."
I just want everyone to remember that these are Zoicite and Malachite's Lazy-Ass Fun Time Comics, so all you animal freaks and sailor stooges need to buzz off.
It's Malachite and Zoicite's Lazy-Ass Fun Time Comics.
Whatever.
And I only cheat because...I'm just so alone in the world...no one likes me...
I love you.
No one likes you because you're an obnoxious pink tramp.
Even my own parents don't love me...
Well, you're obnoxious...and I think your mother had an affair...
You mean...you're not my real father?
Crap...
Hey, I'm professing my love to you, you stupid pumpkin!
I told you she was evil.
You're eviler than I am! I'm just a confused, manipulated girl, and you're body snatching, heart eating alien!
Pluto Deadly Scream!
Indoor voices.
::whispers::Deadly scream.
What are you doing here anyway?
I sensed a disturbance in the space time continuum. And I have a horrible confession to make...
You're one of us? I knew it!
I'm going to have you spayed.
Neo-Queen Serenity is not Small Lady's mother...
Yay!
I am!
So, does that mean that we...you know?
How the hell did that happen?
I'm not surprised...Sailor Pluto's the only one who can stand the little brat.
No, we didn't.
Oh.
I'm a peasant?!
I can't marry a peasant...
I can't believe I almost broke my vows for you...
Vows?
I'm a priest.
I forgive you for the horse, Rini. Sort of...
Who's the father?
I hope it's not me...
We never even met Pluto...
She has time bending powers, Zoicite. And you know those sailor slobs have tendancies towards domination.
True...
She could have tied me up and had her way with me!
I wish she'd do that with me...
Do we need to have another talk about this, Amara?
This is why my second childhood was so crappy...or was it my third?
Why don't you tell me about it?
Run, heartsnatcher!
Well, my mother died...somehow...and aliens took over me and my dad's body...
I hope my real dad is as sexy as my fake dad...
And my dad let Ka-whorey-nite move in with us. I just hate her so much!
Zzzzzz...
No one's even listening...
You're almost as boring as the hermaphrodite with the big forehead.
We're not hermaphrodites!
Hey, Darien, since the spore's not really yours, let's...celebrate...
Who the hell is he?
He's a misguided alien who's full of beautiful dreams.
Who the hell cares about dreams? What about energy?
I care...
What do we even do with all the energy we drain anyway?
Damned if I know.
I brought you flowers.
No one ever gives me flowers...
Me neither. No one even remembers our anniversary...
I told you, my memory was erased...from that battle with the people who were looking for the...uhh...pure dream crystal seeds.
There's no such thing as pure dream crystal seeds!