3/27/01

I try to be polite. I really do.

No, seriously. I do try to be polite. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a quick temper...anyone who knows me is also aware that I try to avoid confrontation(unless it's with people close to me because then I can say whatever I damn want) and will let things fester rather than simply give someone the nasty reply I really think they deserve.

Part of it is survival. I've always been polite because I don't need it circulating around the internet that Zelda is a callous bitch and let's all flame her for it. And part of it is because I was brought up in a place where if you can't say something nice, at least say it behind the person's back. It's catty and mean, and I know that, but it's the Southern way.

So, when I get e-mails that I would never have the balls to send...I wonder.

Bear with me, gentle reader. I know that some web masters and mistresses out there have gotten horrible, nasty flames and I've gotten...well, two, really, and they were mild. I know. But I've just been dealing with some of this for over a year now and I need to vent.

Anyway, half the e-mails I get are about how I should update more. I've always sent a nice, "Thanks, I'm working on X", etc, etc reply, but for the love of god! Some of you don't even pretend to compliment me for what I have done!(yes, I'd still be annoyed, but one line "why haven't you updated?" e-mails are exceptionally crass) I started my first major site because I wanted to archive my fics without waiting for someone to update.

And yes, I have sites that I wish were updated more frequently. C'est la vie. But I've also noticed that sites that update frequently usually have a lot of "So what?" updates--at least once the site's been up and running for awhile.

Or it's suggestions. I don't have a problem with suggestions, in theory. Sometimes people have sent me ideas that I've absolutely loved. But most of the time...look, I write fics, okay? I can't draw--we can all see that. And I have never considered fics to be a "requests welcome" genre.

So, up to this point: I would never e-mail anyone demanding they update more or write something. If I wanted something written, I'd try to write it myself(hence my feeble attempts at SM yaoi) And what triggered all this?

"You should be glad I give a damn about you period" is a charming statement I received from someone I don't even particularly enjoy talking to.

Actually, Anonymous(as I shall refer to you because I am still trying to be polite), there are times when I wish you didn't. You handed out my AIM screen name like it was candy on Halloween--without my permission, I might add--so every so often, I end up confronted by people I don't even know who always ask me two questions right after "Hello." "What's your real name?" and "How old are you?"

There are days when I just want to give this whole stupid thing up. But I know, with my sense of timing, the second I pettily announce that I'm tired of being treated like crap because I was nice to a few too many idiots, any block I currently have will be lifted and I'll write ten more fics for both my current fandoms. And besides, I do enjoy the parts of it that don't piss me off.