Yeah, I've got my own web diary, but this is going to be one of those good old fashioned rants. I'll taint my diary with those later, but as long as I'm using it to complain about telemarketers and babble about Yu-Gi-Oh, I'll keep the rants here.

Anyway, this probably goes against at least half of what I've said before, but seeing female Fish-Eye outside of the dub scares the crap out of me.

Will I continue to use dub names? Well, yeah...while I'm well aware that these cartoon girls have original names, the dub names are their names to me.

Will I continue to write Amara and Michelle as incestuous cousins? You bet your ass I will. That's comedy gold!

If the Starlights are ever dubbed in some bizarre, identical sisters way, will I write them like that? Not necessarily, but identical twin sisters will be mentioned as much as humanly possible.

So, I'll take pretty much anything the dub'll throw at me, but no female Fish-Eye.

Female Zoicite doesn't bother me as much. Okay, admittedly, I'm not too interested in the Dark Kingdom and anything about Zoicite and Malachite or Zoicite and Kunzite tends to involve way too much angst for me.

I also thought Zoicite was a girl for awhile...(see the reasons why dubbing Zoicite female worked so much better than dubbing Fish-Eye female)

Actually, I've found that female gay villains in fan fic are either tragically dead(canon and noncanon) or pregnant by the end of the fic.

Female Fish-Eye also seems destined to either wind up with Hawk's-Eye or Marty Stu.

(As you've probably figured out, I got no problems with Hawk's-Eye/Fish-Eye.)

Well, maybe Marty Stu isn't the word since some of these might have been written by female authors...regardless, femme Fish-Eye has a thing about falling madly in love with original characters.

I know, I know...let s/he who is without original characters cast the first stone...but Fish-Eye(femme or homme)tells Darien that it's the first time s/he felt love with his/her heart.

I'm not too keen on female Fish-Eye cavorting with Darien outside of TVland, but regardless of gender, Fish has a day--tops--after figuring out the beauty of truth and love to find said original character before he dies. And since Fish-Eye spends most of this time moping over Darien not liking him/her and moping over not being human, that doesn't really open up the romance possibilities...

I'm treading that fine line between pondering and bitch on this--since I doubt "everyone's inherently bisexual" falls under anyone's definition of canon, but, well, suck it. You can start your own page about how I'm completely wrong.(I'll link to it anyway, just because it will be a page about the Amazon Trio)

And screw the line between pondering and bitch. I'd like to take a moment here to ask why I've seen a few Hawk's-Eye/Lita fics(keep in mind of course that this is obscure DMC fandom I'm referring to, so I could just be complaining about one thing I've stumbled across several times. I know that here there's at least two of these...) Sure, Sailor Jupiter rocks the house. Hawk's-Eye rocks the house as well. But why the hell are they finding true love? As much as I dislike the senshi love thing, at least Tiger's-Eye and Lita would make some kind of sense...

Back to good old femme Fish-Eye, I think this one really annoys me because I can't seem to believe that Fish-Eye could possibly be female while watching the dub. Yeah, Fish's lower range voice sounds great and I can believe that's female, but the other 95% of the time...

This is, of course, the most superficial point I'll ever make, but I know that Sailor Moon villainesses have big gazungas. The Sailor Scouts aren't exactly bustin' out all over, but the evil women are another story. While we all know the low cut dresses, I'll use an even better example--the Amazon Quartet. Those girls are always saying how great it is to be kids forever, and they ever have cleavage.

When the Amazon Quartet could be spokeswomen for Wonderbra, it's pretty damn telling that femme Fish-Eye is completely flat.

And the high pitched, shrill voice...that screams drag queen. Castrati drag queen, perhaps, but drag queen none the less.

Now, this is probably heterosexist of me, but I find it weird that Hawk's-Eye and Tiger's-Eye would push their female teammate to go after women...or be freaked out when a woman went after guys...or were confused when they found her attractive...

Hawk's-Eye and Tiger's-Eye are not the brightest rings in the circus, but as two guys who frequently go cruising for chicks, I can't really see them being as freaked out/confused as they are by a woman going after guys. You can't even argue that women doing the pursuing weirds them out since Tiger's-Eye expects girls to flock to him and Hawk's-Eye wants a Sugar Mama who can afford to buy him presents.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is no way in hell Tiger's-Eye and Hawk's-Eye would get any work done if they had an attractive female in the group.(well, Hawk's-Eye spends most of his time sitting around anyway...)

And, oh yeah, the dub's shown Fish-Eye in the shower and Fish-Eye stark raving topless. Now, my breasts are small, humble, and exist on a steady diet of Victoria's Secret push-up bras, but I'm stacked compared to "female" Fish-Eye.

As great as it is to "think of the children" (or their narrow minded parents), most kids figure out at an early age that women have breasts. In fact, many girls will have started doing their bust increasing exercises at around age eight.

I also find that making Fish-Eye female was as effective as making Uranus and Neptune cousins. Sure, they say they're cousins, but they're not fooling anyone.

Fish-Eye's just been made more androgynous to me since, when speaking plain old English, Fish-Eye's friends can't seem to remember what gender s/he is supposed to be.

It's an interesting touch that