Other: I really only wrote this because of a portrayal of nuclear holocaust in The Simpsons. No, I'm serious. This exists for one reason. Yes, I am now creating stories for the sole purpose of one television allusion.

Tiger's-Eye sat up. He was alone in a darkened wood. The last thing he remembered was using the spell to repair Sailor Moon's dream. He looked around him. Well, it's dark and I don't see any chicks... He sighed. So this is what hell looks like... "Look on the bright side, Tiger's-Eye," he said aloud to himself. "At least if no one else is here, you can do whatever you want!" He snapped his fingers and grinned.

Hawk's-Eye wasn't quite sure he wanted to open his eyes. The last thing he remembered was taking a spade to the chest and now someone was smacking him in the face and screaming at him. "Wake up! You can't be dead again, dammit!"

He decided he should open his eyes, mostly just because it might make whoever was hitting him stop. "Fish-Eye?"

Fish-Eye grinned. "It really happened!" he said. "We're human!"

"Where are we? And where's Tiger's-Eye?"

They both looked up at the sound of music.

Tiger's-Eye was currently living out one of life's greatest dreams: dancing around naked after deciding that you were the only person in the vicinity. "War! What is it good for?"

"Oh god," Fish-Eye muttered. He and Hawk's-Eye were watching this from a distance and trying to decide if they wanted to get any closer.

"Absolutely nothing! Say it again..."

"I'll never understand your tastes, Fish," Hawk's-Eye said.

"I think I'm going to throw up," said Fish-Eye.

"This wouldn't be so bad if he knew the rest of the words." They exchanged a glance. "Well, it would still be awful, but not...this awful."

"Nothing could be this awful."

Hawk's-Eye put a hand on Fish-Eye's shoulder. Fish-Eye gave him a puzzled look. Especially once Hawk's-Eye took off one of his shoes. "What are you doing?" Fish-Eye asked.

"I'm going to throw my shoe at him," said Hawk's-Eye.

"Let me do it. I'm a professional knife thrower."

"Your aim sucks. Throw your own shoe."

"Fine!"

Tiger's-Eye shrieked as a purple pump hit his recently created stereo. He quickly tried to regain his dignity. This probably meant that there were chicks in the vicinity. A pink high heek hit the stereo, causing him to shriek again.

Hawk's-Eye and Fish-Eye avoided looking at each other. "If you hadn't wanted to be human, we wouldn't be here right now," said Hawk's-Eye.

"You wanted to be human too," said Fish-Eye.

Tiger's-Eye had picked up both shoes and was contemplating how to lure his two potential Cinderella's into the open. Then he looked at the size of the shoes he was holding.

You could tell a lot about a woman by her shoes. For example, these women clearly had big feet. But you know what they say about a woman with big feet... Tiger's-Eye said to himself as he started to leer. He wasn't sure what they said about women with big feet, but it had to be something good.

"Put your damn clothes back on!" Fish-Eye screamed.

Tiger's-Eye grimaced. In this instance, big feet meant they shopped for shoes at a drag queen store.