People rushed around us, I could have lost myself in their laughter, the brightly colored packages and merry sounds surrounding me, if not for the pressing urgency of my new mission. But still it felt different now, not just a mere mission really, not even one to save the world- though that's what it was. It seemed more like a holiday to me as I stepped onto the large civilian transport with my sister, my long lost flesh and blood, my family.
I gave the L4 spaceport one last glance as the shuttle's engines melted the snow around it. Quatre had paid a lot of money to rig that present. Duo would be ecstatic. He wanted so much to stay on Earth that Christmas and watch the snow. I guess Quatre was felling guilty for pulling him away from it all so he paid the colony's environmental control crew to rig this little ‘malfunction.' However happy it would make Duo it complicated my escape into outer space. The shuttles were snowed in for the most part, none of the private lines could get us out so we had to resort to this commercial transport. It would have been too difficult to get out of the colony on a ‘borrowed` military vessel- too conspicuous as well, but I had hoped on at least getting first class. I settled into my seat in coach. At least I'd managed to find two seats together without having to rearrange too much... I guess two seats first class would be too much even for my hacking skills to manage around Christmas without attracting too much attention, rich people don't like to be rearranged and right now we couldn't afford the trouble.
Naomi set complacently beside me, she looked quite comfortable in the noisy confines of second class travel... I have been spending too much time with Relena. Really coach is a paradise considered to some military vehicles, and heaven from the crawl spaces of stowaway travel but nothing compared to the first class that the Queen of the World is used to. I smirked at the thought of Relena riding under some of the conditions I had to in the war.
"It's good to see you smile Ai." Naomi grinned at me with sad eyes. The smile fell from my lips as I watched the shadows play in her eyes. She was tiered and this wasn't a time for happy things. I clutched the locket in my hand hoping we wouldn't meet any of Naomi's ‘friends` on the long journey to Earth. I tried to think of what I would do if we did, how we could hold them off, if we should hold them off or let ourselves get captured and escape latter not to endanger the innocents on board. I gave up on that since it was getting me nowhere but worried and began to think of what I would do once this was all over now that I had a family. I could just see Quatre's face as I introduce them, and Relena's... I would have to think of a way to explain the night before but for now I would just watch as the large gate in the spaceport's airlock opened, feel the ship rock as the engines pushed us out into space. Naomi rested her head on my shoulder and slept.
.
Four dismal hours found us in the hangar bay of the L2 space port, halfway to Earth and the ship was experiencing some technical difficulties. Naomi glanced about us nervously as the ship slowly docked, I could tell she was worried, she didn't shake or mumble like Quatre, or chatter like Duo. She didn't even meditate or brood like Wufei and Trowa. She locked down, glanced about cautiously, to the casual observer she'd look like a cat stalking a mouse but in fact she felt like the prey right now. I know this because that's what I do.
"They must have rigged the ship." Naomi mumbled beside me.
"What?" I asked in a whisper.
"It's them." she breathed looking at a group of mechanics just coming on board, talking to the stewardess.
"New Dawn?" she nodded. Just as I had fared. At least we were docked, we could slip out of here before they caught us... maybe.
"What do we do, Ai?" She whined softly. I shook my head as I thought, watching them walk slowly up the isle. I couldn't think of what to do... they'd rigged the ship so we would have to stop here, there must be more of them, waiting just out that door. Still, I couldn't figure out how they could have found us, I'd been so careful... something about this bothered me. But I didn't have time to think about that, they were getting closer. I had to think of a way to get off this ship. I would normally have shot my way out, but that was out of the question, it was peace time now and there were too many civilians around, I didn't want to risk starting another war. We could sneak out, slip out the back door... these ships don't have back doors. We could go down the emergency- that would set off an alarm. We could take the access hatch. I looked out the window, down the isle, the New Dawn ‘mechanics` had all the access panels blocked. We were trapped- Then I had an idea, it was risky but we had no other choice.
"They know what you look like right?" I turned to my sister, Naomi nodded, "But not me?"
"I don't think so." she answered me a questioning expression on her face.
"Forgive me." I whispered to her as she raised an eyebrow.
"What fo-" I hit her, hard, right on the nose. She doubled over and began to curse as she bowed her head and cupped her hands over her face to catch the blood that was quickly running from her nose.
"Shh... jerk around, act like it's a seizure" I hissed leaning over her. She flashed a wicked glare at me then complied and began to thrash about. It drew attention I really didn't like but it was all I could think of.
"Oh shit!" I pasted a sort of surprised worry expression on my face and stood up to call an attendant, "Stewardess! Somebody help!"
"What is it young man- Oh my!" The stewardess's face contorted in an expression of horror as she saw the blood.
"It's my sister- she's epileptic, it happens sometimes, it's nothing really but- oh shit." I tried to match her expression as I looked down a the blood.
"I need to get her to a hospital! She's bleeding!" I could hear the raised pitch in my voice, Relena's humanizing attempts were really working... at least I could fake emotions now.
"Oh- all right, umm... I umm" the stewardess began to stammer as she watched my sister thrash. The ‘mechanics' had stopped working and everybody on board was watching us. I could only prey no one recognized her. I shouldn't really have worried so much about it- her face was pretty well obscured by the blood and even more so when she pitched forward and curled up into a fetal ball to twitch.
"I need to get her to hospital, Now!" I shrieked.
"Ok, well, right this way, we can call an ambulance." The stewardess turned to find a phone or something.
"No" I said it too loudly, to forcefully, crap. "Um, she doesn't like ambulances, our mother died in one, it would only make it worse, just call us a cab." Nice save.
"Ok, wait right here." The lady turned and rushed down the isle.
"Hurry!" I called after her holding Naomi as she continued to thrash. The hard part was over now, it had gone astonishingly well, even I was impressed with my newfound acting skills. The lady came back in minutes to help me get Naomi off the ship. The ‘mechanics' watched us leave but I don't think any of them recognized her. We were ushered to a cab and rushed off to the hospital. I had to pay the driver double to drop us off at the curb a few blocks from the spaceport.
"Good one Ai." Naomi glared at me as she wiped the blood off her chin with a shirt from her carry on bag. I smiled, she looked ridiculous.
"You do know you left your luggage." she smiled at me, I shrugged.
"I'll get it later."
"They'll want to know why we didn't go to the hospital," her voice was almost scolding but slightly amused.
"You got better." I shrugged, Naomi grinned.
"You know Ai, sometimes you're just too smart for your own good." Naomi smiled wickedly, I returned the favor as we walked aimlessly down the street. I began to consider our options. The New Dawn was probably checking all flights by now and having not found us there they've probably sent people to the hospital as well. We couldn't go back to the space port, but we needed a ship.
"Perfect." Naomi purred beside me. She had stopped in front of an old junk dealer shop. I turned to look at the piles of old scrap metal. At first I couldn't figure out what she was talking about then, standing tall in the afternoon light, an old Virgo Suit stared down at me. It was sliced in half (conspicuously like one I'd seen Deathscythe's blade bite into only a year ago) the lower half of it was from a different suit entirely... I'm not sure what but it seemed welded together and fairly operational. Naomi headed into the shop office before I could stop her, we'd never make it to Earth in one of those, especially that one.
By the time I'd caught up to her she was talking with the man behind the counter... an older man, with a goatee, shades and Hawaiian shirt-
"Howard?" I raised an eyebrow to the old mechanic as he grinned at me.
"Well, well, never expected to see you round here? And who is this lovely lady you brought with ya, a date?" he laughed, I glared.
"Times sure have changed." He shook his head as Naomi folded her arms. I decided it was best to let him assume whatever he'd like to.
"Sister." Naomi smiled wryly beside me then lifted me in a bear hug before tumbling my hair, didn't think it could get more tangled. Howard watched her in disbelief then shrugged and laughed it off.
"Whatever, you don't have to tell me, I won't ask again. Now what can I do for you?" he smiled as he watched us over his shades.
"We'd like that-"
"I didn't know you were on L2." I interrupted Naomi, hoping I could get her out of there without the suit.
"Oh I'm not," Howard smiled "You mean you don't recognize the place? The way he talked I would have thought you lived here..." He grinned at me then trailed off as he saw I had no idea what he was talking about. He shrugged and began to file some things behind the counter. "It's one of Duo's shops, I'm just watching it till he gets back- Hey, aren't you supposed to be on L4 with him?" he looked up suddenly, I glared, glanced around like a cat stalking prey.
"Ahem." Naomi interrupted his question, she could tell I didn't want to answer it, of course I wasn't looking forward to hers either.
"Can we get that Virgostien in the back or do you want to keep it?"
~*~
The endless void of space gapped before us. L2 became a distant spot among stars as the Earth loomed ahead. I could feel a strange sense of dread as we approached the planet, a fear I couldn't quite explain as I clutched the locket tightly in my palm. Naomi sat beside me, steering the cargo ship she had masterfully ‘acquired` from Howard. I'll have to apologize to him latter, I'm just glad he didn't wake up in time to stop us. I promised myself to pay Duo back for the it and be careful with the Virgo in the hold if it came to fighting. For some reason Duo wanted to keep that suit and I didn't want to have to face him if I destroyed it. Of course if I did I probably wouldn't have to face him afterwards, except in hell and the God of Death didn't show signs of going there any time soon. I just hoped it wouldn't come to a fight. I was tired of fighting, I would be happy if I never had to pilot a mobile suit again, ever; something I had begun to doubt only a few weeks ago, but now that I had a family...
I pulled my eyes from the retreating endless sea of stars to the deep cobalt oceans of my sister's eyes. She was smiling quietly, her eyes intently watching the Earth grow in the distance. Something inside me screamed but I didn't hear it. We'd been traveling for three hours, just a few more and we'd be there. I thanked modern science for the improved speed of our space technology since the war, I don't think I could have handled a longer flight. The day's earlier ease had worn away and now my little ‘vacation' had turned into a dreary dream. I was tired but could get no sleep. Every second since L2 I had watched the void suspiciously just waiting for the fleet of mobile suits I knew were creeping up on us but now I relaxed into my seat and closed my eyes to the darkness. We were far enough away they wouldn't bother us, I'll wake up when we get closer to Earth...
"Aiden..." a familiar voice drifted to my ears. Someone was calling me. I waited a few minutes until it called again before pulling myself away from a day like this, the sun shining high in the midday sky, birds in the trees, flowers all around, a babbling brook to the side complete with butterflies and cool breezes. It just seemed too good to be true, I didn't want to loose it. But the voice still called so I wandered through the dappled shade of the apple grove, the smell of the fruit lingering in the air as I watched the shadows play in the dark rich earth.
"Aiden" the voice called me again and I looked up to see my mother smiling at me from the door of a small house at the edge of the trees. She waved to me as the sun caught the red highlights in her hair, her eyes shone like forgotten seas as the wind sent the trim of her dress dancing in the breeze. I smiled and started to walk toward her.
"Aiden!..." her voice changed, this time it was more insistent, worried... harsher. I ran to her.
"Aiden." the beautiful sky shattered into grey clouds. As she screamed the sun set over blood red snow.
"Heero!" A voice pulled me from the dream. I bolted awake, my hands reaching for a gun that wasn't there.
"Wake up sleepy head." Naomi smiled at me, then the smile fell.
"Time to do your job." she glared and shoved a helmet in my hands. I stared down at it a few seconds then felt the ship rock. There was a battle outside, they were firing on the ship.
For a moment I had forgotten who I was, what I was doing but the flashing lights of laser fire brought it back to me. I was Heero Yuy, Gundam Pilot and I was on a mission to save the world. Taking off the locket and pressing it into my sister's hand I put on the helmet and strapped into the Virgo. Duo had done a number on the controls but they seemed to be in working order. It was odd, he'd configured the system like a Gundam- his Gundam in specific. I listened to the din outside and just hoped this makeshift Gundam would work.
Naomi opened the hatch and I fired a few shots from inside the cargo bay before leaping out into the expansive nothingness. The suits, a motley mix of Virgos and Leos, some Aries, all turned on me at once and for a moment, a split second I thought I was going to die and for the first time in my life- I feared it. Then it passed as felt the old instinct take hold. It was like I was outside myself, I could see my hands move over the controls I saw the readouts on the screens, saw the other suits explode into shimmering clouds of shrapnel, I could hear the explosions all around me but they seemed distant, time seemed to slow, I saw it clearly, precisely, completely, like I was watching it on a video. The suit moved with all the fluid motion our Gundams once possessed, the speed I'd been so long in feeling, the power... then it was all over. It stopped, no one was left and all I heard was Naomi's voice crackling through the com.
"Good job, Yuy, get your tail back in here so we can finish this mission." there was an odd zealous tint to her voice, the triumph of victory.
"Hn." I shut off the com and stayed to watch a shard of one of the suits float slowly away before docking the Virgo and going back to claim my locket. Naomi's eyes shone with a strange light when she saw me.
"I bet you were one hell of soldier." She smiled. I just stared at her. The smiled faded and she looked away, back to the shadow of the Earth looming ominously in the distance. I sat back down slowly, still holding the helmet. My mind wondered in too many directions at once. So I cleared it, I blanked out all thought and just sat there, staring into the void of space, the cold harsh vacuum of space, the emptiness with shadows of the deepest black, temperatures that can boil blood and freeze nitrogen... many times over. Harsh light and radiation that can melt human flesh, deep shadows where light does not exist for miles. One could get lost in that vast abys. One could loose their soul...
"Do you ever miss it?" Naomi's voice drifted back to me. The tomes of it swirled in with my thoughts, echoed in the emptiness of space then in a flash, like a great star rising over a shaded planet hit me in blinding clarity, did I miss it?
I looked back at her. She was studying her hands, watching them like they were something she had never seen before, like something strange or horrible, my eyes drifted to my own hands... like they were something coated in blood.
"No." my voice was flat, distant but resolute.
"Never?" she looked up, I could see a deepening sorrow in her eyes.
"Never."
"You don't long for that power again, the authority to decide who lives and who dies? The strength to fight." her voice trembled with a hunger barely contained.
"It doesn't take so much strength to fight," I looked at her, her eyes, "Peace takes strength." My words echoed in a growing silence. We watched each other in it before she looked away.
"Are you so sure?" she asked in a soft whisper almost as if she didn't want me to hear it.
"Yes." I breathed, too quiet for her to hear but I said it, that's what matters, I said it.
We sat in silence. She didn't move, I sat still as the Earth grew before us. After what seemed like hours I stood up and wandered in to the hangar, Naomi didn't turn to watch me leave. Then I stood there in the shadow of Duo's suit. I couldn't call it a Virgo, it wasn't. If I didn't know better I would say it had some Gundam parts in it but we destroyed all those. Still it flew like a Gundam, a little slower, not quite as powerful but close. The right pilot could take out a Gundam with this. Then I remembered the fight. It was odd. I hadn't felt like that since the last time I was in the... the Zero System. Could this suit have- no, Duo hated that system, called it evil. So why did I zone like that? I've never done it before, not like that, not without Zero. I used to... I used to detach during a battle, but never so fully, never so clean, never so much that I couldn't stop. I'd meant to take a prisoner, ask them how they'd found us but when I looked for one all I found was rubble. It troubled me, It was like I was possessed, but how, by what? I climbed slowly into the cockpit and began to open panels and search for the reason. I didn't know what I was looking for but I looked anyway. It was an impressive design, Duo had worked hard on this one, I still couldn't figure out why, he wanted the peace just as much as any of us- didn't he?
I was searching the navigation panels when I accidentally turned the com on. A recording of the battle flickered on the screen, the sound of it brought my eyes up to the flashing lights, the exploding suits, the destruction and death. I stared at it blankly then a voice brought my mind back into focus.
"Naomi! Stop it!" the voice echoed in the cockpit. I turned on the visual. A young man, only a few years older than Naomi stared back at me. Blood trickled down the side of his face, I could see it through the visor in his helmet. Tears gathered in his eyes as he pleaded with my sister. He must have thought it was her fighting. Naomi must have been a Mobile Suit pilot then. Why didn't she tell me?
"Dammit Naomi! This is too much! You're going too far with this, just stop! Please!" the man screamed. Going too far? But I thought she was...
"We can win this some other way, think of all the innocents Naomi! Please!" All the innocents? But they're the ones...
"Naomi, think of your father." the voice was desperate now as the image shook.
"I AM" Naomi's voice cut through the transmission as the man's eyes widened in pain, I saw the white light of a thermal blade rip into the man's flesh, then the picture turned to static, the transmission ended and the screen turned black. I stared at the deep oblivion, empty like space. I could feel the chill of a million miles of distance between me and any light, any warmth, any comfort. I felt so alone and all I could hear was my sister's voice, that strange maddened tone scream in my brain as the man's desperate plea faded in a scream of pain...
"I AM"
~*~
The silence was crushing as I stepped into the cockpit, watched my sister, my own flesh and blood steer to Earth. I watched her, disbelief battling fear. I felt her smile, could see the red light in her eyes, the light from my dreams, the dusk on the snow. I felt cold, so very cold and alone again. I fell back into my chair beside her, watching the crimson stain on my hands spread, like in the dreams. My mind played tricks on me as the cold air of space turned our breath to fog, I could hear the screams in the snow.
"What's wrong, Ai?" Naomi watched me with worried eyes but now I could see, I could see into the depths of the forgotten seas and I saw the shipwrecks there.
"What... what about father?" I heard my voice ask. She looked surprised, genuinely surprised.
"What do you mean, Ai?" she looked puzzled her voice held no hint of malice, like it should, or a moment the doubt won and I was ready to believe anything she said, to follow blindly wherever she may lead... but still my voice asked.
"What innocents?" She pulled away, the hatred in her eyes now rising to the surface.
"Ah." she breathed, "You heard that, How did you?" she glared at me in askance.
"I saw the playback." I sighed, my fears coming true.
"Why?" she almost shouted.
"I- I don't know, I just turned it on, something about the fight didn't feel right."
"You noticed." she mused quietly as if I wouldn't hear.
"Noticed?" I questioned, not sure what she meant, not sure of anything now. She smiled wickedly and held up the helmet, offered it to me again. I took it but this time I saw, I saw the circuitry inside.
"Zero... How? Why?" I dropped the thing, she was using me.
"I have my ways, brother. And as for why, it was for your own good." she smiled.
"What do mean, I could have handled it." I glared at her, hurt.
"Probably, but then we can't afford to risk it now can we," she smiled then the fire in her eyes subsided and the wicked grin turned more real, "two heads are better than one remember how mother used to say." her voice softened as she brought up the memories... yes I remembered. "I had the best vantage point from here, I could see them behind you, I did it for you," she began to plead with me, "I don't think I could bear to loose you now that I finally have you back." her voice sounded so true, so real so earnest, but I could still see in her eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me? What else haven't you told me? What innocents Naomi!" I pulled away from her, trying not to fall for her tricks, not again.
"Calm down little Brother, everything will be clear in another hour, just be patient." her voice hardened again as I glanced out the window, the Earth covered it, we were close now, almost in low orbit.
"No. Tell me now" I had to hear it, and now, before it was too late.
"Calm down, think about it, you'll see it soon enough." she brushed me off.
"What innocents Naomi?" I took a step forward and asked louder.
"What innocents do You think, Heero!" she screamed, that name bit into me like a dagger but it was nothing compared to the meaning in the words before.
"NO!" I cried she stopped and looked at me.
"The earth has to pay for what they've done to us, they shouldn't be able to get away with this!" she growled, lowering her eyes to the locket that hung on my neck.
"I can't let you" I clutched the silver pendant, backed away.
"Dammit Ai, I don't want tot have to kill you too... but I will!" she growled stepping forward.
"Why Naomi, why?" I was almost crying.
"I was a soldier in that war too... I fought and I killed, I watched friends die in that war... I saw children burned and women shot in the streets! I saw innocents die a thousand times and what did we win- nothing! The Earth is still our oppressor and the colonies will never be free, Unless I- unless we do this." she stopped and smiled maliciously
"We?" I stepped back, something in her eyes, in her voice and in her words brought a rare sensation to my mind, I was afraid, afraid of her and what she might do, not to me but to all mankind.
"Yes, we." she smiled. "The perfect payback, the hero of the old war to bring on the reckoning." The madness in her eyes crept into her voice as she stepped closer.
"I won't have any part in this!" I shouted pushing her back.
"Oh, but you have, you have" she laughed ignoring my plight, "You can't stop it now Heero, you can't deny it, you're in too deep already."
"What, how?" I pressed myself against the wall this time, melting under her burning gaze.
"You got me here." She drawled.
"No..." I breathed, my eyes wide in the realization... It was my fault... it would be my fault...
"If it weren't for you, I would have been stopped on L2, or before... the Mobile Suits would have taken me out without your skill."
"I- I... NO! You tricked me! You were controlling me!" I pushed away the guilt in one last desperate cry.
"You want it, you know you want it." she stepped into me, pinned me against the wall, her eyes bore into me like hot irons, "The nightmare, the pain, they took your family away, they took your childhood. Just think what could have been, what could have been if they hadn't killed our father- If they hadn't burned the house, the blood in the stream- the orchard set ablaze, just think If they had left us, a family! They took that away!" she screamed slamming her fist against the hard iron of the hull for emphasis.
"Killing them won't make it any better." I glared up at her.
"Yes it will." she growled.
"No, it won't." I sighed, pushing her off, "Evil only begets Evil, I know that now. You would only start another war, some other child's family will be taken and it will only keep going on, in an endless cycle... an endless waltz." I breathed watching the line of light rim the planet outside, the sun was rising, down there on Earth a new day was dawning casting it's golden light on the world, washing away the red of the dusk, the black of night, covering it in gold.
"There won't be any more war if there's no one left to fight." Naomi growled beside me, I stepped back in shock, she couldn't mean...
"No..." I stepped away, the red madness tainting her eyes.
"Give me the locket I will Make the wars end." She held out her hand to me.
"You're insane." I breathed backing away.
"Give it to Me!" she screamed pulling a gun from her jacket, leveling it on my head. Instinctively I reached for mine but it wasn't there.
"You left yours on the transport remember." she laughed maliciously.
"How'd you?" I stammered.
"I'm an assassin ‘member? Hidden weapons is one of the Family secrets, didn't you know that Ai?" she cocked the gun.
"You won't" I glared at her, dared her to fire.
"You left me there, I was still alive and you left me for dead! Don't think I won't do it Aiden." she yelled, deep residing pain in her voice.
"I didn`t leave you." I breathed lowering my hands, palms out to her as I stepped forward.
"You left me!" she growled stepping back.
"I came back, I came back for you..." I dropped my hands to my sides as my eyes fell to the ground remembering.
"You died that night in my mind, like I died in yours!" Naomi hissed "I'll do it, now give me the locket!"
"Am I so dead then," I lifted my eyes back to her "Is Aiden no more."
"Dead. You're a fool to think you were him, he would have helped me, he would have done anything for me! Aiden's dead!" she screamed, waving the gun close to my face. I stepped back sighed letting my eyes fall to the floor again, her words hurt so much, because I knew, I knew they weren't true and yet to her the were the only truth.
"Then, so are you." I sighed looking up, my eyes met hers we caught each other in cobalt seas, could have drowned in them before we let go.
"Sayonara Naomi," my voice was distant again, pained, "Omae o korosu."
"Not when I've got the gun." she sneered then I opened the locket, pried the chip out forcefully and held it in my hand, her eyes widened in fear as I began to crush it.
"No, not now, not yet!" she screamed as she shot, twice. I felt the searing heat of the bullet rip through my flesh, tear at my shoulder, my hand but I held on. She lunged at me, we fell. I heard the gun clatter across the floor as she groped at my hand. Time slowed and drug on as she clawed for the plage in my palm, her fists driving hard at my face and the bullet hole in my shoulder and wrist. I tried to push her off, tried to throw her down but she was desperate. Then she slipped, I tumbled over her, threw her off me and dove for the gun.
Before I really knew what I had done The air filled with the thunderous sound, the acrid smell then the copper tinge of blood, not my blood. I heard the thud of a lifeless body hit the ground, saw the crumpled form in the faint light of the rising sun. Then silence, stillness, nothing moved nor said a word. A silence, a void, the stillness of death and space surrounded me, crushing me. I stepped back, fell to my knees under the weight of it. Nothing else moved, nothing, nothing spoke, not a sound but the silence, the driving, maddening silence that threatened to swallow me whole, only I wasn't whole any more.
~*~
I remember it, all of it; like some faded memory it haunts me. It was cold and dark when the gunshot rang through the air, killing her... I've never told anyone I did... what happened that night, what dreams haunt me in my sleep. Cold eyes, deep cobalt oceans, forgotten seas like mine; dark hair only a shade from black, like mine; the scent of sulfur and steel lingering in her clothes, like mine... she was strong and wild, and young. I wish I could forget, go back to the way it was before but sometimes the truly terrible things are what etch forever in our memories so I remember that night like a faded dream, a nightmare but I remember it. I can remember her screams of rage as leapt at me... as I fired. I can still see the black blood on my hands- even now, I could never quite get it all off. Then the silence. It settled over us like snow, silently falling to cover the spreading pools. Soft light from the sunrise over Earth cast an icy glow to the ship's interior as the white noise of space howled like a distant wind, the blood spread almost to cover the floor. Two pools of it met in the middle and mixed. All blood looks the same, whether its mine or hers, from Earth or space, the gathering pools of it mean only one thing... death.
I don't know how long I sat there, waiting, for something felling the blood slowly drain from body, drop by drop I didn't care. There was nothing left for me anywhere, Earth or space I had killed my salvation and now I would die. This was no time for soldiers... my mind wandered over memories long forgotten, feelings forever lost. Then I saw the snow, drifting down, lacy flakes dancing in the wind so frail, so fragile, gossamer beauty to hide the blood and soothe the pain, cover the world in a blanket of purity, white and clean, untouched snow... so cold.
I opened my eyes to the shadows around me. I could still see the corpse, the blood glittered in golden light. There was no snow but it was cold. I listened to the hull moan as if in mourning, the hum of the lights down the hall, the engine's sound. I heard my breath, saw it faintly in the cold, cold air, listened to my heart struggle to beat, to push the remaining blood through my veins, or out. The shadows grew around me and I closed my eyes to them, only for a moment as the phantoms stared back at me then the moment's gone and nothing was left of it, the shadows retreated back to their holes as the throbbing pain behind my eyes reminded me it's not a dream.
I opened my hand, slowly. It was still there, glaring at me in the white light that threatened to blind me. I stood up, it hurt. I took a step toward the controls as my head screamed at me, tried to float away it felt so light. I shook it back in place and brought down the sun shield, the light retreated and I was left suddenly in the dark. The lights hummed on. Flourescent white highlighted the curves of her back as I stared at the blood streaming across the floor, pooling at my feet. I traced my tracks through it to my own stain. I would have given anything for some noise, some sound to break the snowdrift of silence. I waited for a voice, a crash, an explosion- anything to save me but it was all quiet save for the white noise of space and the drip of my own blood, not even true silence then, no peaceful calm to kill me.
.
.
Space stretched on for miles. Darkness hid in the spaces between stars, deep and empty holes. There's no sound in space, no air, no light at times- too much at others. In space there is dust that can tear flesh like sharpened steel and yet no gravity to make one fall. In space no one can hear you scream, in space no one can see your tears. So no one saw the silver glint reflect off the battered pendant hung round the neck of the space suit that drifted aimlessly alone, far out into space. No one knew her name, no one heard her cries or saw the tears cried for her. No one ever found the small black chip set a drift in the void, lost forever in the endless sea of stars, the darkness between them. No one was left to mourn the death of Aiden Yuy, and Heero never told anyone about it. Aiden joined his family in the grey mists between memory and dream as Heero walked slowly down the cold, wet street to the warm house waiting for him just beyond the flickering light of an old street lamp. Patches of dirty snow clung to the ditches of the street and hid in the shadows under trees and around the corners of tall, shining houses. The colony was alive in the sounds of celebration, New Year's Eve... nothing like he had left it seven days before waking slowly in the crimson dawn, nothing like the cold expanse of space.
Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing © Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu Agency.