I woke that night in a cold sweat, alone in a dark, half empty room after a bizarre and frightening dream. I can still remember it, the night, like some faded memory it haunts me. It was cold and dark when the gunshot rang through the air, killing her... I was so young, I really shouldn't remember; I only barely do and have never told anyone what I know, what dreams haunt me at night sometimes. Cold eyes, deep cobalt oceans, like mine, dark hair only a shade from black, like mine, and the scent of sulfur and steel lingering in her clothes, like mine. She was strong and wild, and young, so very young when she died and so was I. It's been over 13 years, I was four then. No one suspects I remember, I was too young, it was too long ago but sometimes the truly terrible things are what etch forever in our memories so I remember that night like a faded dream. I remember her screams of rage as the soldiers chased her into the field away from me. She was already dead then, shot somewhere vital, the liver- I can still see the black blood on my hands even now, I could never quite get it all off.
I was never sure it was really real. I couldn't believe the nightmare but then it was all so real, and not something I would make up, I don't have that sort of imagination. As I got older I forgot about it, my mother became just another phantom in my life, Odin never talked about her or my father, though he knew them both. On cold nights when I was alone I would dream sometimes of them, happy people, all three of us together. My father was a strong man, good and kind with bright blue eyes the shade of the desert sky and short light hair, a flaxen blonde. My mother became an ebon angel with long dark curls and tender eyes just my color and fair skin, soft as silk. She was beautiful and good, never to know the pain in the world but able to take it all away. I always bore a strange kinship with her, my father never seemed to materialize for very long, probably because he died when I was very young, but I could imagine my mother almost to life, she was so real in my mind at times I thought she would reach down and carry me away from it all and at times I think she did. She was watching over me and my childish mind did everything to entertain that... of course that too fell away and when Odin died so did she, for the last time. I abandoned my guardian angel and set out on my own, I've all but forgotten her, she's just a dream now, no more... for over 8 years... seems so long. 8 years sine I've conjured her memory and now it all comes crashing down in those deep blue eyes staring cooly out at me from across the alley. I thought I'd never see eyes like that again, convinced myself they weren't even real, and yet- there they are the eyes from my dream...
I had gotten up and checking the clock decided to go out for a walk, even if it was 3:00am. The streets had been quiet since the war, not that I should ever worry about my safety. I put on a heavy coat and walked quietly down the stairs, careful not to disturb the others asleep across the hall. It was winter and we had all gathered in one of Quatre's mansions for the holidays. I cast a lingering glance at the brightly decorated tree in the corner before heading out of doors. The cold air reminded me of the dream, and another night equally distant in my mind, one cold night in the snow. I pulled my coat closer against the wind. I walked for hours gazing first at the expansive sky above then the drifting snow when heavy clouds blocked the stars. There was a white sheen on everything by the time I returned, it would be inches thick by morning and even deeper this afternoon, Duo would get his white Christmas after all. I stopped by the door looking back as I took out the key.
"Aiden?" a soft whisper carried on the wind. The word, the name brought those eyes flashing back suddenly to my mind, I looked around for the speaker but all I saw was drifting snow.
"Aiden is it you?" the voice persisted. This time giving form to it's cry, a woman wrapped in a heavy coat carrying a large bag over her shoulder and a military pack on her back, her head was covered by an old infantry cap and her face fell into shadow. She looked up and all I could see was her eyes, deep cobalt oceans, just like mine.
I dropped the keys then and she dropped her bag, running to me I felt her pick me up in a strong embrace. I tried to pull away but either she didn't let me or I didn't really try. When she put me down she held me out at arms length smiling a lilting grin and shaking her head at me. I stared. When she was satisfied she tousled my hair and stepped back putting her hands on her hips and waited for me to say... something. Any other person I would have killed for what she had just done, a total stranger to not only catch me in hug but to rummage her grubby fingers through my hair... it was a shooting offense, but for some reason it didn't feel so wrong when she did it, in fact it felt... right. It also brought up a swell of old dreams. I'd always had them, as long as I could remember. Like another lifetime I'd see scenes from what could only be someone else's life. A happy family, mother father and daughter, and son, I'd never see the boy but they would talk about him sometimes. They were always strange dreams just short mundane things, a birthday- the girl's, Christmas, or the father's homecoming from a time away. That's all I knew, all I saw, never any important detail just the little pleasant times, sweet moments I could have treasured if they were mine. The girl laughed, it was an odd laugh, harsh and worn more like something I would- it sounded like my laugh... her voice too had that same strange nasal undertone to it, only hers was lighter, her voice flowed freely while mine was always restricted.
"Come on Aiden, has it been so long?" She smiled ruffling my hair again. This time I snorted and pushed her away. She stepped back and looked confused, hurt almost. "I guess it has..." her brow drew together and reminded me of Duo right before he started to pout, that too brought back more of the dreams, this time the girl was older with cobalt eyes and deep mahogany locks... it was her... but no, that, how...?
"Naomi?" I whispered before I realized what I'd said. That was the girl in my dream, they'd called her Naomi once and the boy was named Aiden.
"You do remember me!" she beamed. "I was afraid you wouldn't it has been a while... 13 years, and you were so young." She hugged me again, this time kissing my cheek before picking up her bag and handing me the keys I'd dropped. I could have killed her for that too but it just felt like something I should be used to. "Well, you gonna let me in or are we going to stand all night in the snow?" she chirped giving me a light punch on the shoulder. It was cold but I just stood there, not really sure what to do.
"Who are you?" I finally managed, resolving to ask rather than battle with the impossible memories she had suddenly dredged up. At first she looked indignant, as if I were kidding, then she looked worried and finally resigned that maybe I really didn't know.
"You don't remember do you?"
"No, I don't think so..." I trailed off not really sure, something inside told me I knew, I just didn't want to admit it.
"I'm Naomi Yuy, your sister." Si-ssis-sister! My mind squeaked, no it couldn't I, no! "Believe it, little bro! Now come on Ai, I'm not gonna stand out here and freeze all night waiting for you to remember me."
Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing © Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu Agency.
