"You don't remember me? Haha, how could you, you've forgotten greater things. It was vain of me to think you'd remember. But now I've found you, my Nanashi."
Trowa stood silently watching the sky as it lit up in bright color with loud bangs. The fireworks reminded him of something, something he'd rather forget but here, with Quatre he could stand the memories just to be there. Quatre smiled up at him and wrapped his arms around the taller boy pulling him closer.
"I'm glad you're here with me." he whispered and Trowa smiled faintly nodding in agreement. They watched the fireworks on the balcony of Quatre's mansion home till they stopped and the two lovers went inside to their bed. Quatre left in the morning and Trowa wanted nothing more than to go with him.
"I had thought you would be dead by now."
"So you do remember me then."
"Trowa? Are you alright, you seem distant, is everything ok?" Quatre asked the tall boy in his arms. Trowa's eyes turned slowly back to the Arab, a soft emotion was replaced by his familiar mask as he just nodded.
Quatre didn't like this new turn of events, this regression back to the emotionless void of a person he used to be. He had just returned from a liaison with some of the top brass of the fledgling United Colonial Government they had worked hard to establish since the war and Trowa had just suddenly seemed to loose something while he was away. Quatre couldn't understand it, he was only gone a few days but it seemed to have been enough for Trowa to loose all that passion he had once held so dear, the kind of emotion Quatre had worked hard to bring out in the boy had just died.
"I remember you."
"Then you will remember this as well."
"The cross... I remember."
None of Quatre's servants could tell him what had happened, all they could say is that after he left Trowa locked himself in their room, and stayed there. He came out only a few hours before Quatre returned, Quatre knew even Trowa couldn't stay locked up for two days with no food or water or companion, not for two days. He must have slipped out somehow in the night, escaped but why?
"Good, then you understand why I am here."
"..."
"I suppose I expect too much from you, a soldier, to understand a thing like this. Haha. But then you are not a soldier anymore."
"..."
"What have you done with yourself, Nanashi, all these years since we met?"
"Killed"
"You have fought. You fought a good fight you know, what you did was admirable, noble and kind, not even to get paid for it, a mercenary like you."
"I thought you were on the other side."
"I was a captive of their tyranny, never free like you."
"Free..."
"Yes, free. You remember? But then, now... now I see something different in you, Nanashi."
Quatre tried to talk to Trowa, but he was avoiding him. He'd locked himself away in the library, the study, the garage to fix the many cars and labor suits. Quatre didn't understand, he wanted to, he wanted to talk to him, to get him to open up again and tell him what was wrong, tell him his pain... but he didn't feel any pain. Usually when Trowa would get like that he could sense the pain, the anguish of the ancient memories, the sorrow so repressed that only he could see but now there was... nothing.
"What?"
"A chain."
"...?"
"Haha... never much for words were you Nanashi? But then you've always said more with your eyes than words ever could... and your eyes speak of chains."
"Trowa?" Quatre stood outside the study door. Trowa had locked himself in there that morning, the sun had begun to set outside and Quatre was worried now. "Trowa? Are you in there?"
"Chains?"
"Yes, chains and clipped wings, fences and boundaries to keep you in... chains."
"How so?"
"Once I saw freedom in your eyes, once I saw a strange sort of captive abandon in the apathy of your voice, once I saw beauty in the ruthless way you slaughtered the traitorous men that raised you, once I saw strength in your eyes and grace in the way you would look at me, so empty... but now, now you have chains. You have a weakness in your eyes that ties you down, grounds you and keeps you from flying, like I did, once I saw elegance in the way you were willing to die."
"And I saw honor in the way you risked your life for those ‘chains,' once."
"And yet you left me."
"I spared you."
"You left me, a sacrifice to your friends, your dead comrades. You left me."
"I saved you didn't I? I took you from the bombing."
"You should have left me there..."
"Trowa, open the door Trowa, answer me, please!" Quatre begged the large oak door to open wide and for Trowa to step out and take him in his arms, kiss him and be Ok.
"You should have let them take me as well."
"I should have. This peace has changed you Nanashi, or should I say Trowa. You've gone soft, you're nothing like I thought you would be, almost human now."
"If you want inhuman go see Yuy."
"Ha, no not even he has what I once saw in you... he doesn't feel because he doesn't know how, you chose not to."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you do now, because you never had that confused air as one who never felt but the steel determination of someone who made themselves forget how. And now you've wasted it all, and for what?"
"Trowa, please!" Quatre yelled now. He hit his fists on the door, crying, they slammed into the hard wood once, twice, a third time and then, something soft. Quatre opened his eyes and looked at his fist on Trowa's chest. The taller boy just looked down at the blond, empty eyes staring. Quatre felt like he was going to cry again then Trowa smiled.
"For chains."
"Trowa! You fell better?" Quatre asked cautiously as the smile faded. Trowa nodded and pulled the Arab in closer to him, kissing him softly. "I could never feel any other way with you." The taller boy whispered to his love, looked up to the darkening sky.
"I guess you've found your home then... and I lost mine. We have what we wanted now..."
"I guess."
"Goodbye Nana-... Trowa."
"Goodbye Midii Une, Nanashi..."