(All the Shinra employees and Rufus have decided to take a long vacation to the Shinra Villa in Costa De Sol. Everyone has been getting along ok, and Reno has brought booze, but before the ship takes off, Scarlet and Heidgger turn and throw Hojo off the boat.)
Reno: *Drunk Singing* Sit right baaack and you'll hear a tale a tale of a fateful trip. It started on a..
Scarlet: Now that were rid of Hojo..... Let get going before he gets smart and comes back.
Heidgger: Gya! Gya! Gya!
Scarlet: *stare*
Rufus: Are all my bags in my room for the trip?
Scarlet: *turns and bats eyes* I'll carry them myself!
Rufus: Yes, make sure you do.... *leaves and Scarlet punches Heidgger*
Heidgger: Gya! GYa! GYA!
(Scarlet turns to everyone else who is gathered on the deck. Reno, Rude and Tseng are drinking. Elena and Mayor Domino are sober and carrying on a converstion about how they are both under-appreciated. Reeves is trying to tell Reno, Rude, and Tseng that they shouldn't be drinking, its bad for them.)
Scarlet: YOU HEARD HIM! Get his bags to his room!
(Elena, Domino, and Tseng ignore her.)
Reeves: Hey but you said..
Reno: *Still singing* A 3 hour tour, a 3 hour tour.
The weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew the Minnow would be lost. The minnow would be lost.....
Elena: *notices the Gilligans Island theme* Oh how cute! our trip takes exactly three hours! *pales* But....
Reno: *continues* It drove ground on the shore of this uncharted,desert Isle with Gilligan, the skipper too, The millionaire and his wife, The Mooooviiie Sttar, The Professor and Mary Ann, here on Giligans IIIIIsle!!!
Heidgger: Gya! Gya? Gya.....
Scarlet: *holds face in hands*
Elena: Tseng..... You'll save me right?
Tseng: leenna?*Hic* *passes out*
Reeves: But there aren't seven of us! We have a millionaire though. And we HAD a professor... Why did you throw him off anyway? He didn't do anything to you...
(Scarlet and Heiddger throw Reeves off the boat, and the ship takes
off.
Now we'll switch to Lynn's house where everyone likes to hangout, especially with the Shinra gone, even though Lynn likes Rufus. Lynn is fortunatley not home.
Hojo, who has now decided to see his son and try and be social since he acted like an ass to everyone else, has walked in the door. Cloud sees him and freaks out. Everyone is so distracted with Cloud they don't see Hojo yet.)
Tifa: Cloud!
Mert: Damn Hedigger, Rufus was gonna let me go, but nooooo....
Just leave Cloud alone you get him later he doesnt even know your name....
(NoOne hears her and Squall comes over and sits on her)
Mert: *Shriek, faking sobbing* NoOne even notices I'm here! Left, sat on, and ignored!
Irvine: Don't worry baby, I would never forget you... *hugs her and Mert cuddles happily and stops sobbing*
Darien: Does anyone know when Lynn will be back? She ran off with Quistis and hasn't come back for awhile...
Mert: *Smiles* Can i wear your hat?
Irvine: Well.....
Mert: *sniffle*
Irvine: Ok here don't cry, little lady!
Mert: Ok Irvine is worth my time now...
Zell: I'm here! Lose the cowboy geek!
(Buries her head in Irvine and sobs some more for emphasis. Selphie walk in a scolds Irvine, Mert draws her sword.)
Selphie:EEK! *runs away*
Tifa: Mert!
Irvine: Selphie wait!
Mert: Left, sat on, ignored, AND ABANDONED! ZELL!
Zell: Hehe *Takes Mert in his lap*
(Merts sword threat to Selphie woke up Sephiroth, who was in the recliner with his sword in his lap.)
Sephiroth: *sees mert in Zells lap* Is that the best you can do?
Seifer: Haha, chicken wuss.
Zell: Hey i've got the girl!
(Mert turns and cuts off a piece of Seifers hair. Still noOne has noticed Hojo yet. Lynn and Quistis walk in, with a fax machine.)
Seifer: Let me help you with that. *Picks up the fax machine and promptly drops it.*
Lynn: SEIFER! That was .... expensive.......
Seifer: Trust me! I meant to do that! I'll fix it and make it better!
(Quistis is in a huff, and abruptly turns around and runs smack into Hojo.)
Quistis: *vaguely* Hi hojo..
HOJO?!
(Everyone in the room jumps up and screams, except Cloud and Darien. Sephiroth runs for the closet. Of course in the act of jumping up,
Zell drops Mert in the floor.)
Tifa: Get him Cloud!
Darien: What's wrong?!
Cloud: Hojo? hojo.. *freaks out again*
Quistis: AHH! the fax machine! Hide it!
Seifer: *draws sword and brings Lynn closer* You better watch it!
Lynn: I will take care of myself! *Feels a little bad* But thank you anyway Seifer. *bats eyes*
Zell: I'll take care of him! Opps...
Mert: LEFT, SAT ON, IGNORED, ABANDONED, AND DROPPED!
*Starts to cry for real and runs to the closet, but noone notices now, much to her dismay*
Sephiroth: *Whimper*
Hojo: Sephiroth, daddy is here! I just came to meet your friends!
Sephiroth: They aren't my friends!And your not my daddy!
(Mert and Sephiroth are both in the closet, upset for seperate reasons, and Hojo is in the middle of a circle of everyone else. Mert tries to cuddle Sephiroth..)
Sephiroth: Get off me, do i look like a teddy bear?
Mert: No you don't look like a teddy bear, i just wanted to cuddle with you, since your so powerful.... *sniffle*
Sephiroth: Nonsense! *Trys to get out and then remembers Hojo* Damn you...
Hojo: Why don't you want me here?
Lynn: You scared Sephiroth and upset Meredith even more! * Feels kinda sorry* but it's not that we don't want you..
(Everyone realizes what she about to say and Zell and Quistis restrain her. Sephiroth jumps out of the closet outraged.)
Sephiroth: You sensitive women! Get out! I don't want to see my dad!
Darien: *casts Ultima on Hojo* Now, he's wounded you can carry him out...
Lynn: *Quietly* Thank you...
Sephiroth: I could have done that....
(The Shinra boat is halfway to Costa De Sol when *surprise* a storm hits. Rufus, Reno, and Rude get away in the secret boat, but Elena,Tseng, Domino, Scarlett, and Heddigger are still stranded.)
Rufus:Finally, maybe they will be stuck out there forever! No more Heidgger and Scarlett! I do kind of miss Tseng and Elena though....
But it doesnt matter! I'm rid of the people who are trying to take me over!
