Mamoru’s Horrible Obsession
(Comedy)
By: SailorMaxx
Rating: PG(A couple of damn's here and there...)
Author’s Note: I do not own Sailor Moon. It is owned by the wonderful artist Naoko Takeuchi. Also, I do not have anything against any of the characters I make fun of in this fanfic. This story is only written to be funny and wacky.

Mamoru sat on the couch, reading a magazine. He leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed the mug standing on top of a coaster. As soon as he took a sip of this drink, he heard the doorbell ring.

“Hai!” He yelled out.

“It’s a delivery for you! The greatest love in the world! Tsukino Usagi!”

Mamoru lightly laughed at the nice gesture Usagi had given him. “Come in,” he replied, standing up and placing his drink on the dining room table.

Usagi walked in happily, overjoyed to see her love once again. Seeing that the table was set and the food was prepared, she sat down at the dining table and greeted Mamoru as he sat down also.

“Good evening, Mamo-chan,” Usagi greeted happily.

“Usa-ko,” he said smiling, as he put some food on her plate.

“This looks delicious, Mamo-chan. Thanks for making it.”

“No problem. Now let’s eat, I know your hungry and so am I.”

They both started eating and at first, seemed to enjoy the dinner, especially Mamoru. He was eating it quicker than Usagi and had already gone for seconds.

As for Usagi, she felt a little wierd about the food. Eating the chicken, it seemed the barbecue had an unusual sweet taste. In fact, the sweetness overloaded her tastebuds, making it almost unbearable to eat after the second bite. She watched awkwardly as Mamoru seemed to completely swallow down his dinner.

“Pass...um...the gravy...please...,” she said to Mamoru, giving him an odd look.

“Here you go,” he said handing it to here. She poured the “gravy” on her mashed potatoes and began to eat again. There again, was that unusual sweet taste. ‘What the hell is this!’ Usagi screamed her mind.

She placed her fork down on the table and cleared her throat. “Uh...Mamo-chan...what kind of gravy is this exactly...?”

Mamoru looked up. “What, you don’t like it?”

“Um...well...,” she couldn’t think of words to say that would not hurt his feelings.

“Oh, I’ll get the other kind of gravy. I think you’ll like it much better.” Mamoru stood up, walked over to the kitchen and grabbed another gravy boat from the kitchen counter. He placed it next to Usagi’s fork. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” she replied quietly. She poured a little bit “gravy” over the mashed potatoes, and after tasting it....there was still that unusual sweet taste. ‘What the...!’ She grabbed her coffee mug and took a sip... ‘That same taste...!’ She suddenly spit out the drink, staining it on her plate. “Mamo-chan! What’s the big idea?”

“Huh?” he looked oddly at her.

“This all tastes like...like...Why....Why!...does it all taste like...like...”

“Like what, Usa-ko?”

“CHOCOLATE!!!!! It all tastes like chocolate!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?”

“Well, because I like chocolate.”

Usagi gave him an odd stare as Mamoru drank his hot chocolate. “But this is TOO much!!!! It’s not healthy!!!”

“I can’t live without chocolate.”

“I think you could!”

“But it’s all I ever eat.”

“Every day?!”

“Every meal.”

“HOW?!”

“It tastes good. Now forget this mindless chitchat and eat.”

“NO!”

“Usa-ko, what’s wrong?” “What’s wrong? He asks me what’s wrong?!?! Chiba Mamoru! You are OBSESSED with CHOCOLATE!!!!”

“So?”

“It’s not right!”

“Why?” “Because it’s bad for your teeth and there’s too much sugar...and....”

“You sound like a mother, Usako.”

“Well, you sound like a child! Only children are obsessed with chocolate!”

“I’m not a child.”

“Prove it.”

“How?”

“Spend one day without chocolate.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?”

“I can’t do that?!”

“Why not?”

“Because...because I love chocolate!!!!”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Then if you really love me, you won’t eat chocolate for one whole day...24 hours...”

Mamoru groaned slightly and then gave in. “Fine...starting at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning I won’t have any chocolate.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, but what if I lose my nerve?” “I’ll be with you the whole day. All my classes are out of session for spring break at Tokyo University and I know you don’t have to work tomorrow. So we can spend the whole day together. Just you and me.”

“Really.”

“Yup. And if you start to miss the sweet taste of chocolate, I’ll give you something else that’s ten times as sweeter.”

“What?”

“This.” Usagi kissed Mamoru softly on the lips and then stood up. “I’ll be here tomorrow at 7:58 a.m. Remember, no chocolate. Bye!” And with that she left his apartment, closing the door quietly.

Mamoru sighed as he picked up a candy bar. “Well, I’ll miss ya,” and took a big bite out of the chocolate bar.

***7:53 a.m., the next morning....***

***BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!****

Mamoru smacked his alarm making the buzz alarm go off. He looked at the luminated numbers on his alarm clock reading 7:53 a.m. He then sluggishly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he headed for the kitchen, totally forgetting his agreement from the day before.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Usagi stormed in, seeing Mamoru with a chocolate donut in his hand.

“Usa-ko...what brings you here...?”

“Mamoru! Have you forgotten our deal!”

“What deal?” He was about to eat it the chocolate donut when Usagi snatched it from his hands and shoved it down the garbage disposal. Mamoru stared at the sink with sad eyes and started to cry. “Usagi! Why did you do that?”

“Our deal was...for ONE WHOLE DAY, no CHOCOLATE!”

Mamoru started blankly while tapping his chin. He than slapped himself on the forehead and said, “Oh yeah...Damn amnesia! I usually get it sometimes...but...*sigh*...I don’t know how I’ll get through the day....*sigh*...what will I do without the delicious taste, the sweet sugary...taste..of...chocolate....?” Mamoru eyes became wide and tear-filled.

Usagi sweatdropped and said in a serious voice, “Mamo-chan, you’re scaring me.” Usagi then dragged him from the kitchen and onto the living room couch. “Now, what do you want to do today?”

“Uh, well....I....,” there was a slight pause. “Oh PLEASE, Usagi!!! Chocolate! I NEED Chocolate!!!” Mamoru whined like a baby.

“NO!” Usagi replied firmly.

“Why! Usagi...Usa-ko...why must you torture me like this...I feel as if I have been betrayed...been stabbed with a thousand knives...my heart...it feels betrayed...WHY!”

“Oh for God sake, Mamoru! You’ve only been without chocolate for three damn minutes and you’re already begging for mercy!” She took in a deep breath and then spoke again. “Now, we are going to the park and we are going to enjoy ourselves, okay, Mamoru?”

Mamoru didn’t say anything except, “Chocolate...need...chocolate...”

Usagi sighed and just grabbed Mamoru’s hand, dragging him outside.

They went for a very long walk and then headed to the park where there seemed to be a carnival going on. Usagi’s eyes lit up while saying, “Wow, Mamoru! Look at all the games! Win me a prize! Win me a prize!”

Mamoru sighed and said, “All right, I’ll win you a prize.” He went up to the one game booth where you take a dart and have to hit a balloon. One hit---a small prize. Two hits---a medium prize. Three hits out of three---a large prize.

Mamoru hit it all three times (since he’s so skillful by throwing all those roses) and won Usagi a big pink bunny stuffed animal. Usagi was overjoyed and gave Mamoru a big hug.

“Okay, Mamoru. Why don’t you try to win yourself a prize?”

“Okay.” And with that, Mamoru tried a game to win a prize for himself and, of course, he won.

“Congratulations!” The man said.

“What’s my prize?” Mamoru asked.

“A case of----------CHOCOLATE!”

“WHAT?!” Usagi squealed while Mamoru’s eyes lit up.

“Did you hear that, Usagi! I won!”

“Yes, I heard,” she looked over to see Mamoru taking his chocolate from the man.

Usagi walked over and snatched it from his hands. Then, she threw it in the garbage. “No chocolate.”

Mamoru’s eyes bulged out as he saw all that chocolate wasted.

The rest of the day went on like slow torture for Mamoru. Sure, he got to spend time with his beloved, got good exercise, and ate three meals, but he still craved for chocolate. He thought he would go insane anytime soon. But he knew no matter how hard he whined or begged, Usagi would not let him have any chocolate.

11:00 p.m.: Usagi made herself comfortable on the couch while Mamoru went to sleep in his own bed. That night, Mamoru had a dream. He was in Chocolate Land. The streets and cars and buildings were made of chocolate. Even the animals were made of chocolate. Then as he was about to bite a chocolate lamp post, he heard Usagi.

“NO CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!” She yelled. And right before Mamoru’s eyes, Chocolate Land was burnt down to nothing.

“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mamoru screamed. He woke up in his bed, sweating like a pig. ‘That dream.....!’ he thought. ‘What does it mean?’ He picked up a picture of him smiling while he was about to eat a piece of chocolate. Suddenly, the glass shattered on the picture frame between Mamoru and the chocolate. ‘What?!’ Mamoru screamed in his head. He realized then, that if he didn’t eat chocolate NOW, he would never be able to eat it again with Usagi around.

1:30 a.m.: Mamoru tip-toed out of his apartment, passing Usagi who was sleeping quietly on the couch. He was dressed all in black.(A.N.: Hmmm...I wonder why?) He left the apartment and ran off to a certain destination.

8:00 a.m.: Usagi woke up on the couch, the sunlight covering her body. She slowly got of the couch walking over to the front of the apartment. She opened up the apartment door and picked up the newspaper.

Usagi read the front page stating, “BARRY’S CHOCOLATE STORE ROBBED!!!!!!!!!” ‘Now who would do such a thing?’ Usagi thought.(A.N.: Hmmm...I wonder who?)

Usagi looked around to see that Mamoru was not awake yet, so she went to his room to wake him up. She opened the door and said, “Wake up honey. You can eat chocolate now........WHAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!??!?!???” Usagi screeched out of nowhere.

Mamoru jumped from the bed at the sound of Usagi’s scream.

“Chiba Mamoru!!!! WHAT is the meaning of THIS?!?!?!?!??!”Usagi yelled, pointing at all the chocolate.

Mamoru looked around. “Oh, you mean the chocolate? Forgive me, Usagi, but I could not wait any longer!”

“SO YOU STOLE AND ATE CHOCOLATE?????!!!!!!!!!!”

“No. I stole the chocolate, but I didn’t eat it yet.”

Usagi stared at him and started to whine. “Mamoru, WHAT am I going to do with you!!!!”

“And now I see that it is eight o’clock. Like we promised, I can eat chocolate again!” He grabbed a Wonka bar and opened the wrapper. “Wow, Usa-ko! How do you think they get these little pieces of graham crackers in these chocolate bars? It’s AMAZING!” Mamoru bit into the Wonka bar, smiling. “Aw, damn! I stained my favorite pair of purple pants! Oh well....All for the sake of chocolate!”

“I don’t know, Mamoru. I just don’t know....” Usagi sighed in grief as she slid to the floor.

“Usagi! Great news!!!”

“What? You’re going to give up chocolate for the sake of both our sanity?”

“Usagi, don’t be silly! Now here’s the GREAT news!!!!”

“What...."

“I just WON A TRIP TO THE WILLY WONKA FACTORY AND A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!!!” Usagi screeched in utter frustration.

“I knew you’d be happy! Now pack your bags! We’re going to get some chocolate!!!!”

Usagi groaned and whined as Mamoru happily packed his bags.

“Am I really spending an eternity with this guy and CHOCOLATE?!?!?!?!”

THE END

Comments? Email SailorMaxx@aol.com