Bradley Crawford. The American, leader of Schwarz, was dressed in his
pin-stripped suit, looking as charming as usual. He sat across me in
the dimly lit room that was to be the conference room for Schwarz. And
I drank in the beautiful sight of him.
I love how his black hair is set, with strands falling over his eyes.
I've always had the urge to run my fingers through them, just to see
how it feels like. And those Persian-blue eyes of his, framed by
silver-rimmed glasses narrows ever so slightly as he briefs us.
Everytime our eyes meet, I always feel myself getting lost in it. It
somehow has that soothing effect on me. But I had to look away from
him, less he becomes suspicious.
Slowly I turn back, and my eyes travelled to his lush lips, rosy and
full. I've always been captivated on how they move everytime he talks,
how it forms the words that I hear. I've wondered many a times how
Brad would taste like. Like the peppermint candies that he always
take? Or just plainly like Brad? And would he be a good kisser? I
smiled in spite of myself.
"Schuldich," Brad called out. " Are you even concentrating on what I'm
saying? I don't want you messing up this mission like what happened
the last time. Need I remind you again, in-case you've forgotten
already?"
I could feel my cheeks heat up. But I wasn't going to let Brad have
the satisfaction of seeing me blush. And it wasn't because of the
failed mission last week, but because of the way that he had mentioned
my name. It's the way that he says it, so unlike how other people do.
I get a kick out of little things like that, especially when it
involves Bradley Crawford.
"Hey hey, chill," I said, holding my hands up. "It wasn't entirely my
fault you know. If Farf hadn't gone missing, it woulda been all fine,"
I stated, stealing a glimpse of the one-eyed, knife-licking Irish
psycho-sadomasochist. Farfarello cast a boring look at me as he licked
the new knife that I just bought him. That's good. At least I know
that he doesn't mind having to put up with the blame. I grinned at
Brad.
"Yes, it's just so like you to blame it all on Farfarello," Brad
continued, a finger pushed his glasses up as it began to slide down
his nose. "Just because he doesn't say anything, doesn't mean you can
shift the blame to him. Besides, didn't I warn you before hand not to
let him out of your sight? And here you are complaining about me
briefing you one time too many!" Brad threw his hands up in the air,
exasperated.
"What have I got to do to make you listen to me, Schuldich! Do you
hate me that much?" He asked, voice a little pained.
Ouch. To hear Brad say that I hate him really was a painful prick to
the heart. That was the last thing that I had for him, hate. I loved
him to bits and he can't see it! Is he that blinded by his piles of
work that he wouldn't even notice love even if it's right under his
nose? I was hurt, well and truly hurt.
But nevertheless, I don't show it. It's been a trait that I had
acquired once joining Schwarz. To show any sign of true emotion was
considered a vulnerability. Therefore, I don't. And I only put forth
that conniving grin that was fast becoming a habit of mine.
Brad just looked at me with those mesmerising blue eyes of his, and
sighed. He turned his attention to stacking up the files on the work
desk. "Nagi, you and Farfarello go on this one. Schuldich, you stay. I
think we've got some things to sort," he said finally.
I looked to my right, trying to see past the rain that trickled down
the window pane. The two younger ones brushed past me and I didn't
even notice. I was trying to stop the urge from jumping on Brad right
there and then, and he was so close! I clenched my fist, only to
realise that my hands had started to sweat. I guess everybody has
their limits, and the temptation at the moment was so strong! I gave
up trying to hide my feelings.
The door closes with a soft click. The others are gone. Privacy,
finally. I looked up to see Brad's broad back facing me. I got up from
the leather couch that I was sitting on. I had best get this done
before my love interest starts his long lecture on me again. Walking
slowly towards him, I wondered whether it would be wise to confess my
true feelings to him. Would he understand? Or would he just push me
away? But, an attraction that's so strong, the feeling that pulls me
to him, I'm sure this can't be wrong.
As I stood there, just a feet away from Brad, he turned around and
faced me. Our eyes meet, but just for a second. I turn away. I was
lost and I didn't know what to do. For the first time in my life, I
didn't know what to say. No sarcasm, no crude comments…just, nothing.
"Schuldich," he called out. "I know you don't like me. We never did
get along even from the first day. And I'm not saying that we have to
be friends or anything, but at least, you know, try to keep all these
hatred aside when we're working," he paused to look at me. "I don't
want to be dragged into Takatori's office and I think, neither do
you."
The coldness in his tone made me cringe inwardly. "Brad," I started,
trying very hard to control my emotions. "I care for you. A lot. And
never in my mind have I ever thought of hurting you in any way." I
waited to see his reaction but there was none, so I continued. "Don't
you see it Brad, I love you," the last three words were spoken more
like a whisper. And I turned my attention to the gray carpet. I could
feel my cheeks heat up and I didn't like it one bit. I felt like a
stupid school girl.
I could sense his shock. His mind was fumbling for some appropriate
words to say. And ended up with none. So we stood there, both silent
save for the rapid breathing. Then, Brad turned back to re-stacking
his work. I looked up, disappointed that he didn't even say a word. I
whispered his name and still, he didn't answer. I gathered my courage
and walked up to him, slowly slid my arms around his waist. I could
feel him tense up, but I didn't care. I entwined my fingers around him
and placed my cheek against his back. I could hear his heartbeat, and
it was beating just as fast as mine.
I could feel the stinging in my eyes, and I didn't want the tears to
fall. I didn't want Brad to think that I was weak, that I'd cry over
someone, but I couldn't help it, I wanted him that badly. The tears
were falling past my cheeks and I pressed my eyes on Brad's expensive
suit, damping them. My heart hurt, it felt like someone clenched on
it, wanting it to burst. I held onto Brad tightly, not wanting him to
leave, especially not now.
"Please…love me," I begged. But still, he didn't say or do anything.
He just stood there. And me, I couldn't take it anymore. The mask, the
facade that I live in finally crumbled, and I broke down and cried.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The kettle hooted noisily, and I snapped out of my thoughts and turned
the gas off. Those memories, they were of years ago, when we were more
younger, when Schwarz was a four man group. Now, it's nothing but
history. Nagi's now in college, studying about computers and
Farfarello, well, he's still as insane as ever, but I think Nagi's
handling him quite well. They've moved in together.
Brushing off the strands of hair obscuring my view, I turned to look
at Brad sitting in the living room, on the couch, reading the morning
paper. Nothing has changed about him. He's still the same, more older,
more wiser, but still the same old Brad Crawford that I know and
admire.
"Brad, you want coffee?" I asked, even though I already know his
answer. He muttered a "Yes, please". I smiled. It's nice to hear his
voice, he doesn't talk that much nowadays, only when necessary. I
guess it's true what they say, actions do speak louder than words.
I got the jar of black powdery stuff out of the cabinet, took a
teaspoon from the nearby drawer and tossed in 2 spoonfuls in to the
mug, adding the right amount of sugar. It's amazing what you can learn
from living with someone long enough. Back then, I wouldn't even know
that Brad drank DeCaffe, and not the normal stuff. The steam rises
from the mug as I poured the water in. I made myself a cup too and got
out of the kitchen.
Placing the mug on the glass table, I sat beside him, silently sipping
on my coffee. I know how it gets on his nerves when I just stare at
him. But it's a habit that I'd acquired, even way before I joined
Schwarz. I'd loved to observe people, watching them with their
perfectly normal lives in their perfectly normal little world, and
sometimes, I envied them. They didn't have to hear thousands of
screaming voices in their heads, they didn't have to get pushed
towards the edge of sanity. But sometimes, I think I'm better off than
most of them. I can know what Brad thinks, and that's enough to make
up for all the other loses in life. I wouldn't give up my telepathic
powers just to be normal, when that's the one thing that bonds me to
him.
Reaching a hand out, I brushed aside a strand of black hair, and
placed it behind his ears, only to have it fall back again as it had
been. I ran the back of my hand across his smooth cheek, and
deliberately passed my fingertips on the side of his lips, just to see
what he would do.
A warm hand held on to my wrist, and the newspaper rustled as the
owner placed it back on the glass table, along with the untouched
coffee that was fast turning cold. I placed my own coffee down. His
hand came in contact with my cheek, and I heard myself sigh. His touch
was always soft
He pushed me down, making me lie on the leather couch, and he hovered
on top of me, still caressing me with his hand. He lowered his head
towards mine. I closed my eyes, anticipating the warm touch of his
lips. Closer and closer he gets and finally, I feel him against me,
and I gasped, the movement of his lips against mine made me melt.
And he kissed me, passionately. When we broke off, I ran my fingers
over his jet-black hair, staring right back at him, getting lost in
those deep pools of Persian blue. I didn't need the words to tell me
how he feels, his gaze assured me that he felt the same way as I did,
that he loved me just as deeply as I do him.
I'm glad that I took the chance and expressed my feelings to him, that
day a long long time ago. I'm glad that I didn't let my pride get in
the way of something as wonderful as this. Most of all, I'm glad that
I'm in love with Brad Crawford.
END