A thin feminine hand presses the TV and it flashes on, and the person jumps on the couch in the background. Several flickers of light occur on the screen as the person hastily skips over channels, and then the person pauses on Channel 60.
Person: ^_^ Heeeheheheee! My favorite show! (Giggles and gnaws on their hands.) Ohhh I wonder who got the top video for today? (Jumps up and down when the commercial break ends and the camera focuses on a black haired guy standing in a corner by large windows that overlook New York buildings. The guy looks up and smiles a stupid grin.)
Stupid Looking Host: And welcome back to TRL right here on MTV. I'm Truckdad Nightly, and I'm glad you're watching MTV. Yesterday we showed you a brand new video generated by those awesome group of guys, N'Stink. Today Times Square looks lovely, see all my fans? Wave! (Camera points out the glass window down at adoring fans, screaming inaudibly, mouths hanging open and grasping huge signs that bear scraggly written love notes to the Stupid Looking Host.)
Stupid Looking Host: (Smiles at the camera gaily.) Yep, well now we head on to our top video of the day on Total Regurgitation Live. But first we'll have one of our little quizzes where some sappy, er, super fan out there will take home a wonderful prize!
The person sitting at the leather couch grins happily and it becomes evident that this seemingly female person is actually a lavender-haired boy, of about seventeen years. He quietly smoothes his shiny hair and claps his hands together at Truckdad Nightly's previous statement.
James: EEEEE! I want to win a prize! (Jumps up and down all over the black leather couch, eyes glued to the TV screen.)
Stupid Looking Host: Here's how you can win. Listen to this audio clip, call the number listed below if you know what it is, and you can win two tickets to see the band of your choice in concert! Listen carefully!
Slowly a tune is played softly but the volume eventually increases. The song is bouncy and somewhat familiar. James scrunches up his face and thinks extra hard. What is that song....? OH! In one millisecond James knew. He grabbed the phone and dialed the number. Of course, it was busy, but James held the phone patiently, keeping his eyes on the TV and on the Stupid Looking Host.
Stupid Looking Host: Okay, I think I've given you enough time to listen. Now we'll accept calls. Remember that the number is on your screen right now. And if you call in, you can get those tickets for any concert of your choice! Okay here we go..(sound of a telephone picking up) Hello there!
Choking Girl: WHAAAAAAA!!! I made it through? Omigod I know who it is!!!
Stupid Looking Host: And who do you think it is, um, girl?
Choking Girl: Uhh *hack hack* my name is Heather! But its gotta be the Buttstreak Boys and their single "Quit Playing Games with my Butt" RIIIIGHT????
James: (sighs, thinking his chance is over..)
Stupid Looking Host: (pretends to be sad) Um..We're sorry, but that is incorrect.
Choking Girl: WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (The sound of a crash is heard and then a dial tone.)
Stupid Looking Host: Uhhh OK. Next call..
James hears a click and then he says: Hello? (To his surprise he can hear himself on the TV as well, and his heart nearly stops.)
Stupid Looking Host: Why hello young lady! Do you have an answer for us?
James: (growls into the mouthpiece) I'm not a woman. My name is James..and the answer is..
Stupid Looking Host: Oh my bad. Sorry, James..what were you going to say?
James: The answer is, um, (racks his brain..what was it..then, click!)...MISTY SPEARS! Yes, with her single "Ash One More Time"! (James breathes heavily in the phone after spluttering his answer.)
Stupid Looking Host: Uhhh....(to add the suspense)...CORRECT!
James: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Stupid Looking Host: (covering his ears) Uh yes stay on the phone miss and prepare to collect your prize.
James: I'm not a wo-(his voice is cut from the TV as he is switched to another phone line.)
Lazy Bum: Hello it seems you've won a prize. Wow. I'm so happy for you. (Sounding exactly like Ben Stein.) Tell me your address promptly and your prize of two tickets will be delivered.
James: Don't I have to tell you whom I want to see in concert first.
Lazy Bum: Oh yes. You are so smart. I almost forgot.
James: Well, I think I want to see...(glances around his living room for any clues)..Ohhh I'll see..actually I want to see Misty Spears!
Lazy Bum: Kay. Address please.
James crazily reels off his address and is told he'll get the tickets in two weeks. He slams the phone down and does a couple of random flips onto his couch, grinning happily. He glances at the television and sees the Stupid Looking Host summing up the show.
Stupid Looking Host: Well that was the top video for today. Hope you enjoyed it.
James: AHH! I missed it! (Slaps a hand on his forehead.)
Stupid Looking Host: Be sure to watch tomorrow and congrats to our little chick that won the two tickets! (Blows a kiss at the camera.)
James: I'm not a- (then intensely blushes at the sight of the Stupid Looking Host puckering his lips for HIM.) Eeeee..
A door slams in the background in the room adjacent to the living room and is barely audible over the raring television. James snaps out of his reverie of sleeping with the Stupid Looking Host and looks toward the door.
A tall dark man stands in the door, creating a dark shadow. In the shadow it is evident that the man is holding a long long blade in his left hand. The man sports a leather trenchcoat that gleams in the remaining light, and he waits silently.
James pays him no attention just to flirt. He turns the volume on the TV up louder and settles on the couch with his back to the man in the door, who obviously wants James to pay attention to him. The man stealthily moves forward, holding the blade higher and pounces near the couch, grabbing James's face and pulling it upward towards his face, pulling the sharp edge of the sword towards James's white throat.
James smiles even though his life seems in danger and thick black gloves are pulling his lovely blue hair. The man's face is very near, and James puckers his lips and gives the man a quick smack on the mouth. The man softens and releases him, turning from the couch. The tall man's shock of silvery glistening hair streams down his back, and it shimmers as he sheaths his incredibly long sword. He ambles into a dark corner of the house.
James grinned and then turned off the television. He leaped over the black leather couch and bounded in the direction the man was going.
"Sephy.." James calls in the darkness, one hand cupped to his mouth. He can see nothing in the room he enters, just liquid blackness. Suddenly something pinches him on the rear and then grabs him around the waist. Muscular arms encircle James and he lets himself be carried easily over the shadows to a bed, heavily clad with quilts and blankets. The man sets down James carefully on his back, and the man begins to stroke James's hair incessantly while simultaneously lip-locking with him as well. The man begins to go further when suddenly the lights in the room are rudely turned on, creating a huge flash of light and causing James's eyes to hurt somewhat.
Woman: James what the hell..AHHH!(Sees the man on top of James who is frenching him at the same time) Well if you're BUSY then I guess you won't be interested in your pay for this month! Heh heh I'll just keep it.
Another figure approaches in the doorway..
CAT THING: What about Meowth's paycheck? If James doesn't want his then give it to ME!
Woman: Why should I ever give anything to you, you selfish excuse for a Pokemon!
Meowth: What da HELL? (Scratches her face in two flying streaks of light) No one says that about..(Sees the man who is lying on top of James)...AHHHHHHHH! (Is scared but immediately his shock turns to laughter.) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
James: It's not that funny..quit laughing at me! (Sits up by pushing his silver-haired boyfriend off of him) And I DO WANT MY PAYCHECK, JESSE!
Woman: Fine. Since we've still not captured that Pikachu, the Boss has lowered it even more this month.
James: (Remembers his newly won tickets.) OHHHH! I forgot to tell all of you! I WON TWO CONCERT TICKETS OFFA TRL!!!
Everyone looks at him, eyebrows raised in disbelief.
Meowth: What the heck's TRL?
Jesse: Who cares!
Sephiroth (James's Boyfriend): Does it deal with total world domination?
James: NO but it's really Coo-ooo-lll because I can take one of you with me to see MISTY SPEARS!!! (Giggles insanely.)
Seph, Jesse, and Meowth all have sweatdrops. They look at James worriedly and then at each other.
James: So, who's it gonna be? (Claps his hands together.)
Seph: If it isn't about massacres, genocide, the Black Materia, the Lifestream, living forever, being a god, or wiping out Cloud Strife, then you may exclude me. (Turns and leaves.)
James: Hmmm. Maybe it'll take more convincing if I want to be sure that he goes with me. (Glances at the bed.) Oh yeah, who's Cloud Strife?
Meowth: Her name is MISTY SPEARS? Doesn't MISTY sound familiar? Misty is that red haired chick that hangs around with that twerp and his Pikachu!!
James: No not Misty Spears! You're definitely mistaken. Misty Spears is so much more beautiful than that skinny redheaded runt girl is. Besides (crosses his chest with his arms) Misty Spears is FAMOUS.
Meowth: Whatever you gaywad.
James: I'm not gay!
Meowth: And I'm not a Normal type Pokemon either, Jamesie poo.
James: (Thinks.) HEY!
Jesse: Shut up. (Has been glaring at the both of them for the longest time.)
James: Ohyeah. Do *YOU* want to go to the concert with me, Jesse?
Jesse: .....
James: Speak up!
Jesse: OK.
James: (Eyes are filled with bright stars.) FOR REAL?!! Yeah! Thankee Jesse!
Jesse: Don't act gay James.
James: But I a--
Meowth: HA HA I TOLD YA!
James: I mean..AGH.
Two weeks later the concert tickets arrived. Another week passed before the concert night, and when Jesse and James arrived thousands of fans were littered in the bright arena. Finally, the spotlight on the center of the closed-in arena wandered onto a large platform covered with silver lights, and a red-haired girl wearing minimal clothing jumped into view, baring a microphone in one hand and a pokeball in another.
The girl throws the pokeball as the music starts thumping, and immediately the crowd starts rocking to the beat. In a white streak of light, a Staryu comes out of the pokeball in a spritz of clear drops of water, and dances along with other dancers on stage. At the same moment, the arena becomes completely lit with blue and white lights as the music thumps louder. In the center of the silver glittering stage, stands the girl, and she lifts the microphone. Water Pokemon are spread over her stage as dancers for her songs, and they move in sync with the pulsating beat that ripples through the crowd.
Misty Spears: Oh Ashy Ashy how was I supposed to know? That something wasn't right here..
Jesse looks at James, who is grooving to the music beside her in the crushing mob of fans. What had Misty Spears just said? It had sounded so familiar and that Ash part..
"James? Did she just say.." James seems to not to hear her. Jesse contemplates for a few seconds.
"Nah." And Jesse enjoyed the rest of the concert.