*************** "Slacker Pays." A Revenge fic. *************** I hate Mondays. I always have and I always will. Personally, I think Mondays are a waste of time. Most of the bad thing that have happened to me happen on Mondays. And today I was about to get a whole new reason to hate Monday. It started out like any other Monday: Get up way too early after staying awake way too late Sunday night. Go to work. Try not to slip into catatonia. (This working for living thing SUCKS.) Get off of work and go to classes. Try to stay awake during class. Who knows, something important might be said. After classes, go home. Dump my books and gear in my room, slip into my ratty old shorts and t-shirt, and go to the computer. Same as usually, right? Well, then it got weird. ****************** "Ah, time to feed my addiction." So saying, I went to check on my e-mail. I poured through the latest offerings. Then I had a pleasant surprise. "Hey! Wilson wrote me back. Wonder what he has to say this time?" As I read through the message and sipped at my Dew, one part jumped out at me. "He going to do a Revenge fic? Is he nuts? You'd have to be crazy to write one of those things! Ain't no way, I'd EVER write one of those!" "You say that like you actually have a choice in the matter." I turned my head and looked to my right. Sitting on the couch in front of the TV were two women, one with red hair and one with black. In bikinis. The red- head was wearing silver, and her friend was wearing yellow. "What the hell?" I muttered. "Who are you, and what are you doing in here?" "We're the Lovely Angels, of course. And you're the author know as Slacker. And this... is a Revenge fic." The redhead announced with a nasty grin. "Right." I looked at my Dew can. "What the hell's in this? I gotta cut back." "Hate to burst your bubble, chum, but we ARE the Lovely Angels and you are so screwed." Kei announced with glee. "Why? I haven't written anything with you guys in it. The closest I've ever came is that spamfic...." "You guys are canon, right?" In response, Yuri grinned, revealing slight fangs. She then cracked her knuckles, reached behind her, and pulled out a red umbrella. I decided to play nonchalant. "So, what are you going to do to me?" By the grins on their faces, I didn't succeed. I bolted from my chair and proceeded to run out the door. The fact that they weren't even trying to chase me should have alerted me that something was up, but I wasn't exactly coherent at that point. I turned to look behind me to see if they were behind me, which is why I was surprised when I slammed into someone. I hit the ground on my ass, of course. The other person wasn't even moved. I looked up at him. Black hair. Earrings. Bracers. Vest. Sash made out of pantyhose. "Um, hi?" I managed in a pitch I hadn't hit since puberty. "Do you know what I'm going to do to you?" Taro asked in a remarkable pleasant tone. "Let me go?" I asked in a hopeful voice. Taro just grinned in response. It wasn't a nice grin. The next thing I know, I'm in pain. Quite a lot of pain, too. And I'm screaming like a schoolgirl. (Hey, I don't have high pain tolerances, okay?) Then, thankfully, I passed out. *************** I came to in a dark alley. Taro, Ranma, and Ryoga were all towering over me in male form. "Nice of you to rejoin us." Ranma calmly commented. "Have a nice nap?" "Not really. So is this the point where you hose me down in Jusenkyo water?" "Well, I was in favor of that option, but Taro convinced us that it had been done to death in the original set of Revenge fics." Ranma replied. "So what are you going to do?" Ryoga spoke up "Well, we said to ourselves `What would be the absolute worst thing we could do to you?' We had a lot of really nasty ideas picked out, too. Then Taro, sadistic bastard that he is..." "And damn proud of it." Taro interjected. "Ahem." Ryoga continued "Any ways, Taro came up with a very nasty evil idea. So we used it. Normally, we wouldn't even do this to the nasty demon that hell could produce, but... you stuck us as girls for 150 years. You earned it." I started to stand up and eliminate some of the height difference between us. (Hell, at 5' 10" I'm taller than Ranma and Ryoga.) Then I realized something: I was standing up. And my legs were really cold. I looked down. I was wearing a sailor fuku. A PINK sailor fuku. I reached up to my hair. Weird hairstyle, check. Pink? Check. Then Taro tossed me something. I grabbed it by reflex. It was a mirror. I looked into it. Red eyes framed by pink hair stared back. I was in the body of Chibi-Usa. I could feel cheesy attack phrases trying to work their way into my mind already. I did the only thing you can do when you're confronted with something like that: I screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And then I passed out, again. ******************** "You know, that really was a bit harsh for a single spamfic." Ryoga commented as they walked away from the alley. "You didn't take a look at his computer." Taro retorted. "What do you mean?" Ranma asked. "He was writing a sequel." "Oh." Ryoga thought about that for a while. "Okay, then." ********************** I came to in the alley again. This time though, I wasn't on the ground. I was being held to the chest of someone. "Small Lady? Are you all right?" I know that voice. I looked up. Green hair, red eyes, tanned skin. Sailor Pluto. And she was holding me in her lap. What do you know, every cloud has a silver lining, after all. ******************** Author's notes: What can I say? I can hear flames being lit now. I was reading the Revenge Wars and I thought `You know some of these babies are really good. To bad no one's written any for a while.' Then Andrew Wilson sent me three paragraphs or so of what a revenge fic of his would look like. Then after I challenged him to write it, he told me to go first. So now I have just one thing more to say before I go: Tag Andrew, you're it.