This is how my life has changed since I became a Muslim. If you think that this can't happen to a young woman from the Midwest (Illinois), after reading this, you will think again. All of this has happened to a young Midwestern woman.
When I was 17, I had an uncomfortable feeling when I was at church(I attended the Church of God-Anderson, IN), especially when the pastor was preaching. During those times, I felt like that the messages were not there for me. Slowly, I sit on the outside of the sanctuary during the sermons, until one day, I stopped coming. I did come back for the one-year anniversary of my friend’s murder and a few times during the summer before I came to Western Illinois University. I only went to the home church once during the time at the university. Even with the Christian theology, it is seemed to me that it was spoken to me in Greek, because I could not understand it.
On November 4, 2001, while I was on the Internet, I felt this pain in my abdominal area, which I thought it will go away soon, so I went to bed. But the pain was still there, and it made me to be in the hospital the next day overnight, it turned out to be a cyst. A few weeks after being sent to the hospital, that is when I started to learn more about Islam, mostly through the Internet and meeting Muslims online.
With meeting Muslims online, I did pointed out that I wanted to learn more about Islam. (First learned about it in sixth grade history class and a bit in third year of high school Spanish.) I have been to several sites about Islam and learn more about the true Islam, not the news and Hollywood version. I am very impressed on it, especially about the women converting to Islam, despite the negative views on it. I did request my own copy of the Quran, which I now I have and read it every day.
On April 12, 2002, I took the Shahada public in the mosque in Macomb, IL (where my university is at). I called the mosque at and told them that I want to take the Shahada. They told me to come over at 2 pm for the Jumma prayer. I was there for the whole thing, even listened to the message. The message, I actually understood. After the prayer, I took my Shahada, first in Arabic and then in English.
Soon after, I started wearing hijab, and haven’t experience any problems with it at all. I feel naked without my hijab at all.
While at school, my friends accepted me being a Muslim, but my family, except my dad, my brother, and maybe one of my sisters, are against it. They want me to live my life the way they want me to live it, not the way I want to live it. I can’t be what they want to be, I can be only who I can be.
With this new life, I did notice something different with me. I took up more hours at work, not because I need the money, but because I want to. I also donated things to different people for different things, like canned goods, hygiene products, caps, pull-tabs, money, etc. I know that life should be lived for God only, not for others, inshallah.
For the goals that I set up for myself, I like to be able to learn Arabic so that one day, inshallah, that I will be able to read it in the original Arabic. One day, inshallah, I hope to visit those friends who helped me along my journey.
On September 11, 2004, I have been dianoised with Asperger Syndrome, which is a form of autism. Over the years, there was something that was wrong with me, but nobody knows what was wrong with me. This day, I found out what is wrong with me. For most people, having a disability means, it is over, you can't do anything. For me, I am seeking what Allah have in store for me, I am sure that Allah will have a plan for me and to be able to tell about Islam, even with having Asperger's. Allah doesn't make any mistakes, sometimes Allah will create a person that is "different" from others in hopes that people aren't judged on what is on the outside, but on the inside.
The version that I sent in a online group I belong to.
Tell us a little bit about your family background (where u grew up, heritage etc). I grew up in a medium sized town in Illinois (Galesburg) with 2 brothers and 3 sisters. It was the tipical growing up in the Midwest.
Tell us about the religious environment u was raised in (religious household, catholic school etc) family wasn’t too religious but attended church were u always religious? Spiritual? Before embracing Islam? Not always, did have a spiritual moment in high school
Were u searching for another religion? Or always questioning your religion u was raised in? When I was 17, I started to have a feeling that something was missing with me. At 19, I stopped going to the church. 20, after a trip to the hospital (cyst in right ovary), I started looking online sites about Islam.
What was your first encounter with Islam? It was during sixth grade history class. I also did learn some more in Spanish class when I was a high school senior.
What were some of the books that helped u along in your search? I did it mostly through online, I do have a few books, biographies of the companions even.
Was there anyone that helped u along? Supported u in your questions for the truth? Yeah, several online friends.
Tell a bit about the day when u knew u believed in your heart? When I couldn’t go to sleep, I went online and talked to an online friend from Iran who was online and told him how I felt.
Tell us about your shahada? It was during the Friday prayer on April 12, 2002 in the Islamic Center in Macomb, IL (where my university is at). The imam had me to do it in both Arabic and English. He did also tell me what is expected as a Muslim.
How long have u been a Muslim? Since April 12, 2002, alhumdulilah
Who taught u how to pray? I mostly taught myself how to pray, still having trouble with the words
Describe the changes that u needed to make in your life as a result of your conversion and practice of Islam. Were there areas left behind that caused u grief and loss? How has this change helped u be what u wanted to be? What has been (or is) the most meaningful part of Islam for u? The changes weren’t very significant much. I don’t even drink and I did wean off the pork before converting (health reason).
How did u learn to live as a Muslim? Who was most helpful? To what extent has it been easy or difficult for u to take on religious practices? I did went through the diet changing before I converted, so I don’t miss pork (not healthy anyways). I try my best to live a Muslim life, even with Sigma Lambda Sigma (my sorority). School is easy to practice my religion, people repected me and treated me like anyone else. With my family, it is hard.
Do u choose an Islamic name. Why or why not? No, didn’t find one that will fit me. I do like Fatimah, but I want to give that name to my firstborn daughter, inshallah.
What are your biggest challenges in Islam that you’re facing right now? Biggest challenge is getting my family to accept me as a Muslim.
What are your top three goals? Pray correctly, live an Islamic life, and start to learn Arabic.
What effect has your choice to be a muslimah had on your relationship with your parents and other family members? What was their reaction when they found out? How long was it until u told them? It was when I came home last year and my mom confronted me because of a program that I had on my computer (she dropped the computer and went to see if it is broken or not). Family was against it (dad and brother Chris were ok with it).
What do u hope for in regard to your relationship with parents and family? Inshallah that they will know more about Islam.
What were or are the main points or events of stress with your family of origin? How do u manage the celebration of their holidays? How do u include your family in Islamic holidays? Well, I did got Christmas presents from them. I haven’t done the Islamic holidays with them yet.
What are the difficulties or pleasures for u when u visit your family? For me being in college, it can be a joy to see them when I haven’t seen them in months. Do u feel comfortable leaving your children with your family? I have no kids yet.
Tell me about your marriage ceremony. What elements of Islam were in the ceremony? Not married yet.
What are the rights u are experiencing as a muslimah? I am more active in school, being in a soriety, the hall government as an exective board member (treasurer). I do also work to help with the things that I need as well as the school bill. What are some areas u feel are not open to u in your position as a muslimah? Nothing at all.
How are your child rearing techniques influenced by being Muslim? Inshallah when I have kids, that they will be good Muslims.
What would u like the American public to know about Islam and Muslims in general? That they need to know the basics of Islam and that not all terrorists are Muslims. Terrorists come from all walks of life, even the hate crimes are acts of terror, many committed by white suprimist groups that claimed to be “Christian.”I also believe that people should read The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Islam (there is actually a book out there).
Update:I received 3 Qurans, both in English and Arabic, one of them have the Roman letters of the Arabic to help me reach my goal to be able to read the Quran in Arabic, inshallah. One Quran have notes in it to help me better understand the Quran.
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