Investigations & Inspections
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To The Loon Land!
Who's the man...not me, as I am a woman
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A plan has been unhatched by my sources Nunga Nay and Rainbow George to staple any smelly people at the armpits. You have been warned - wash frequently, uphold good hygine, and please, oh please, WEAR DEODERANT.
Simran The Murderer
The latest on Daffornielle
The Latest on Hannah who was Locked in a Tower
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
The Nokia Fiasco
For my birthday, my parents bought me a phone. A NOKIA 5100, to be precise. They bought this particular model, because it had been advertised to have 'high-durability'. My friends called it 'Lizzi-proof'. Well ha ha ha! I have discovered that this is not true. The Nokia site boasts about how the 'Nokia Team' can go mountain climbing and cycling with this phone...well I couldn't even walk into a table with the damn thing! I am in the process of writing a letter of complaint to these Nokia people...however, I suspect my mother was right when she told me they might not take me seriously. We shall soon see.
In my opinion, this plan should include mouths too, as some people just don't seem to know when to SHUT THE HELL UP.
Observe the above photo. Is it simply 3 girls at a sleepover having a laugh? Or is it evidence that a murder took place?
Simran (the girl with the devilish pitchfork) attended a sleepover hosted by me (the horrified wittness). She knew Ali (the victim) would be attending. She probably saw my pitchfork as a weapon, and took the chance.
However, there is still a lack of proof. It is very hard to proove Simran a murderer - especially when her victim is alive and in good health. And of course, I'm the only wittness. Daffornielle is partly visible in this photo, but she was unaware and saw nothing. Naomi, Kalpa and Tricia could have been wittnesses, but Tricia and Kalpa were sleeping and Naomi was doing her hair.
This investigation will be continued. Any finger prints will be magnified, any suspicious remarks recorded and any snickers bars eaten. Good Day.
I went shopping with Dandypants the other day. We saw Hannah and Beelzebub, met a goose and took lotsa photos.
She's back in her tower. I made acquaintance with her loonish friends - Dianne, Polly, Karen, Mark, Daniel, Bleasby and of course, the keeper of the tower, Danny.
I felt a bit intimidated by these people - especially Polly, as she had long hair.
Hannah's friends did not seem aware of her conditions - perhaps when they went back to her tower they will have noticed. We can not be sure.
I was asked to investigate this by she-who-must-not-be-named (Daffornielle). I thought this sounded intriguing, and below is my investigation.
When Charlene's "canaries" (they're blatanly budgies) layed eggs, it showed that with canaries the bird comes first. This could also apply to chickens.
In the Bible it says God created animals. It doesn't mention any eggs.
I tried hatching an egg I found in the fridge, but dropped it on the floor. I tried hatching another one, but Mom made scrambled eggs instead.
I'd investigate this further, but really, there's no point. I've already solved it. What came first? Nothing. A canary landed on earth. It was hit on the head with an egg. The canary died, and the egg hatched. This is where the chicken came from; thin air.