Pelican Stewart
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Now the boys of the drive were an unlikely crew
yet somehow we learned to fit well,
and deep in my heart they’re my friends ‘til I die,
and each has his story to tell.
But the feller I know who will stand up and bow
when I’m doin’ my ‘memberin’ research
is Pelican Stewart, who sticks out from the rest
like a girl of the evenin’ in church.
We first called him Stewie, and he weren’t none too smart.
He’d do awful things on a dare,
like mountin’ up backwards just to say that he did,
or usin’ snake lard to pomade his hair.
So the boys got to figurin’, after a time,
that ol’ Stewie was good for a giggle,
and they’d come up with offers, disguise ‘em as bets
just so’s they could watch Stewie wiggle.
And he’d dig himself under before he got out,
sometimes causin’ a real consternation
by flusterin’ Sally and botherin’ the boss,
and houndin’ us all to tarnation.
Now the evenin’ that Pelican brings to my mind
when I reminisce and remember his name,
was a quiet lonesome campsite this side of the river.
We’d held over ‘cause some horses were lame,
And the boys were all peaceful, strummin’ guitars,
cussin’ and washin’ their feet,
and the cattle were watered and fed and had bedded,
and the air was balmy and sweet.
Then Casper and Dave, who’d scoped the embankment,
turns to Stewie, says “Let’s go fer a stroll!”
So Stewie pipes up, and responds, real friendly,
“Why, shore, boys!” And the next thing you know,
The boys has come back. And Stew’s got this dead bird
sort of hung up on both of his ears.
Beak first past his whiskers, Stew’s head down its gullet,
and both Casper and Dave are near tears
They’s laughin’ so hard at Stewie’s predi’ment.
That bird’s beak was wrenched open real wide,
and the smell of the carcass was waftin’ downwind.
Never mind what Stew was breathin’ inside!
Well, we all started to chuckle, had a good belly laugh,
but Stew didn’t join in the joke,
‘cause he was clamped in real good, and he couldn’t get loose,
locked up tight like a pig in a poke!
And that started Stew howlin’. “Hey, fellers,” he moaned,
“Can’t you give me a hand with this duck?
It’s the gol darned cantankerest
bird I’ve encountered. He’s got me plumb glorious stuck!”
Well, we some settled down, then shuffled in line,
Took turns a-pullin’ the legs,
And Stewie just hollered, and yelped and complained,
Betwixt cussin’ out Casper and Dave.
Then ol’ no-neck Turtle took out his big bowie
and surgically made an incision,
and that bird lost its beak. Stewie fell to the ground,
squawkin’ like he’d seen a vision.
And Belch, who was hootin’ and holdin’ his sides, said,
“Stew’s a newly hatched Pelican chick!”
And that’s the end of the story, I guess,
‘cause you keep a name when it fits.
©Jo Lynne Kirkwood - 2001
Musterin' up the Drive - Page One
The Cocinero - Page Three
Night Song - Page Four
The Railhead - Page Five
