Yesterday I received word from my attorney of the judge's rulings in my custody case--sole legal and sole physical custody were granted to my ex-husband, citing almost word for word statements made against me by the guardian ad litem, the custody evaluator, and the psychological evaluator in their respective reports.
I believe that I have been the victim of a domino effect of lies. This domino effect began with my ex-husband's initial meeting with the guardian ad litem. Over time increasingly there was a problem with guardian bias. In addition, while individuals are not allowed to communicate directly with the judge, throughout the case the guardian was communicating negatively about me to the judge without me having any opportunity of defending myself against such untrue and exaggerated allegations. Secondly, the guardian and custody evaluator worked closely together on this case; thus, it really was only one evaluation, not two separate ones. Thirdly, the guardian and custody evaluator met with the psychological evaluator prior to his evaluation of me, and I believe that their doing so prevented this from being an objective evaluation. Thus, some of the initial lies told by my ex-husband to the guardian dominoed down throughout the process and were ultimately quoted by the judge in her rulings regarding this case.
In August, 2003, during the preliminary divorce hearing, the judge stated to my attorney that she would have an "uphill battle," but that she'd be willing to listen to her. It is, therefore, my opinion that the judge did not go into this case with an objective and open mind; but rather, she had already been so negatively influenced by the guardian ad litem prior to hearing the case, that her judgments were impaired.
During court my attorney questioned me for three hours on the witness stand to try to set straight all the lies and inaccuracies that had previously been placed before the judge by the guardian ad litem, the custody evaluator and the psychological evaluator in the reports they had submitted to the court. In reading the judge's order, it would seem that this was all for naught.
I am very concerned regarding the way this case has been handled by the court system. It is apparent to me that the guardian ad litem program is direly in need of change, but also the entire custody evaluation process.
It would seem to me that a custody evaluation should be an independent study that is solely performed by the custody evaluator without input from the guardian ad litem. Otherwise, as indicated above, it is really only one evaluation, not two separate ones. I believe it is important to have two separate evaluations regarding custody so that there is hopefully greater objectivity. At the very least, if one of the evaluators has been biased, there would then be greater hope that the other evaluator would be objective. With one feeding into the other, especially where bias has occurred, objectivity is much less likely to occur.
Further, I do not believe that the guardian nor the custody evaluator should be permitted to communicate regarding the case to the psychological evaluator, especially if such communications would shed a negative light on either of the parties in the dispute. I believe that in my case the guardian and custody evaluator having met with the psychological evaluator did negatively influence his evaluation of me.
Finally I have great concerns regarding Family Services in ... County and their failures to accurately assess the sexual inappropriateness my children have been subjected to by their father. Family Services' failure to identify the truth of these allegations has spiraled down to instead be turned against me. I have truthfully and accurately relayed to Family Services, the guardian ad litem, the custody evaluator, the psychological evaluator and ultimately to the judge during court the sexually inappropriate occurrences as shared with me by my daughters and some that I personally observed. It is very frustrating for the court to accuse me of being a liar in regards to these things and to cite it as yet another reason why custody was taken away from me, when in fact I have not lied regarding these matters. Thus, I have concern for my daughters' safety.
I feel that the court system has failed my daughters greatly. It is my belief that throughout this process the main focus was on the parents and especially on what the parents were communicating against each other, with each of the key players attempting to distinguish the truth from the lies. Meanwhile there appeared to be very little focus on what the relationships were between each of the parents with the children. I don't believe that there was adequate focus on the children throughout the process.
My daughters attempted to express to the guardian ad litem, the custody evaluator and the psychological evaluator their wishes to spend less, not more, time with their father. Instead of believing or honoring their wishes, instead the court believed the guardian and custody evaluator that I had supposedly told my daughters to say these things. I did not. No one will listen to my daughters. This is very frustrating for both them and for me.
I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 10 years devotingly caring for my now 11 1/2 year old and 8 1/2 year old daughters. We have lived together in the same residence for the past seven years. Now my daughters have been uprooted and taken away from their primary caretaker their whole lives and from their stable home environment. My children showed obvious signs of depression and stress both last evening, after having been told of the news by their father yesterday after school, and this morning before being taken to school.
I am very concerned about the emotional well-being of my children as a result of the judge's rulings. I do not believe that justice has been served. I believe there are a lot of things that need to be improved with the way custody matters are decided here in (STATE), not just for the sake of my children, but for the sakes of other children who have been victimized by the system as well.
02/05/04
My dealings with the guardian ad litem appointed to our custody/divorce case has been a very negative experience, as detailed below.
In the first place, I was rather surprised to learn of the lack of what I would view as appropriate qualifications for a guardian ad litem, given the weight of decisions based on their recommendations to the court. My initial attorney had told me that guardian ad litems are typically retired social workers or retired teachers. Unfortunately, this is not true. The guardian assigned to this case has no professional qualifications, background or education; rather, she was a stay-at-home mom and housewife prior to becoming a guardian and has no additional college education other than whatever training is required to become a guardian. I believe that for a person to be in a position like this, making recommendations to the court in matters of such great importance as the welfare of minor children, that they should be required to have a college degree related to working with children.
My second concern is that I feel that the guardian assigned to this case spent too little time working on the case prior to making her initial recommendations to the court at the temporary order hearing held on April 28, 2003--she was only actively working on the case for 10 days prior to making her recommendations. Further, inadequate time was spent with my daughters prior to making those recommendations--she only met with the girls for one time, for five minutes each at the ... Junior High pool in the presence of their father. In all fairness, she should have talked with the girls while neither parent was present, which is what the guardian initially had told me she was going to do (but didn?t). I believe that it is important for a guardian to spend more time visiting with the children one-on-one, without being in the presence of either parent (so that they feel more free to comfortably share), and to be willing to truly listen to what the children are saying. My oldest daughter told me that on several occasions she attempted to express her preference for custody to the guardian via email, but the guardian rather than listening to my daughter, instead attempted to discredit that she had even authored the emails (supposedly via my daughter?s teacher) and testified in court that she believed that I had wrote the emails--this is not true.
Another concern is that the guardian took it upon herself to attempt to discern the truth from the lies in regards to my estranged spouse and myself, unfortunately choosing to believe his inaccurate and exaggerated lies about me as a parent, while refusing to take seriously nor investigate the allegations of sexual inappropriateness that I shared with her after my daughters had shared these things with me (nor did Family Services take seriously the allegations either, as I understand it, primarily because we were in the midst of a custody battle). During my initial meeting with the guardian (having met first with my estranged spouse), nearly the entire time spent was spent with her questioning me regarding things my estranged spouse had said against me. Such questioning put me in a defensive mode. I don?t recall any questions of a positive nature being asked regarding myself as a parent; thus, I believe that the guardian gained an inaccurate picture of who I am and have been as a parent. When I attempted to communicate my concerns to her regarding my estranged spouse as a parent by sharing with her things of concern via email, for the most part she did not respond and apparently ignored and did not take the concerns seriously. At the very least she failed to address them. Even so, it is my view that it would have been more appropriate for her to have been focusing in on the girls? interactions with each of their parents, spending more time observing the children with each of their parents, rather than focusing in too much on what either parent was saying about the other parent (the guardian didn?t observe my daughters and me together AT ALL until after making her final recommendations to the court regarding custody, while having observed them with their father on more than one occasion prior to that time).
Additionally, throughout the custody/divorce process, the guardian has communicated significantly more with my estranged spouse than she has with me. My daughters shared with me on several occasions things their father had told them that the guardian was currently doing (i.e., visiting with their teachers at school). At the same time, the guardian did not share with me the progress of her investigation.
Another problem I encountered with the guardian was her failure to contact the references which, at her request, I had provided to her. She had requested the names of 4 or 5 references who could talk with her about me as a parent--I provided her with four names, but upon contacting them (after reading the guardian?s initial recommendations and her indication to my attorney about my references had supposedly said very negative things against me), I discovered that the guardian had only contacted ONE of the names that I had provided her with. In my opinion, the guardian would have gained a more balanced perspective of me as a parent had she contacted all references that were provided to her.
It very much concerns me the overtrust that judges place in guardians? competence to make unbiased recommendations that truly are in the best interests of the children. At the temporary order hearing held April 28, 2003, the judge in this case expressed concern regarding the allegations of sexual inappropriateness; yet, she basically dismissed them, entrusting the guardian?s expressed lack of concern in relation to Family Services not investigating the allegations further.
Finally, my attempts to voice complaints with the ... County GAL Coordinator were dismissed rather than acknowledged as valid. The GAL Coordinator in several of his responses would lead one to believe that a guardian has more authority than what is appropriate, especially because their power seems to be unchecked (which, of course, is not the American way). Further, I was informed by both of my attorneys that it is next to impossible to have a guardian removed from a case. Thus, there is no reprieve for those who are victims of guardian bias.
In conclusion, I believe that the qualifications for becoming a guardian need to be changed to require a child welfare related degree (in social work or education). Secondly, I believe it is essential for there to be a grievance process put into place where parents? concerns will truly be listened to, addressed and handled appropriately. I do not believe it is appropriate for a guardian ad litem to have free reign, power and authority to do whatever they please without there being accountability for their actions--some sort of checks and balances system needs to be put into place. Further, it seems appropriate to better define what an investigation by a guardian ad litem should consist of--is it appropriate to base a guardian?s recommendations on a one-time very short visit with children in the presence of one of their parents? I think there needs to be better guidelines in terms of defining that an investigation is to consist of visiting with children alone for a certain length of time prior to making recommendations, and also to consist of observing the children for a certain length of time with each of their parents prior to making recommendations. I believe the guidelines need to be better defined to ensure that the guardian?s focus is more on the children and their expressed desires and an observation of what their relationships with each parent are, rather than an overfocus of the guardian on one parent or the other. Implementing better guidelines for investigating a case would hopefully help to lessen the bias problem that clearly exists with the guardian ad litems, as was documented in a study of this program in (STATE) in 1995.
My custody appeal was heard in court on September 23, 2004. On December 16, 2004, I learned the outcome from my custody appeal - the appeals court upheld the lower court's rulings regarding custody of my children, continuing to document as "fact" the lies that were presented and believed in the initial court hearings.
It's time for us to fight back - why should we tolerate the injustices that we have encountered in our custody battles in the courts? The time is NOW - please share your story.
If you or someone you know has been victimized by the custody process in your state (i.e., negative guardian ad litem encounters, negative custody evaluation problems, problems with Family Services failing to investigate abuse issues because of the custody battle, etc.), I STRONGLY urge you to write to your local legislators to inform them of the difficulties that you have encountered. Further, I encourage you to express the problems you've encountered by writing to your state?s program manager. If you feel that the judge was biased in his or her handling of your case, I urge you to write a letter of complaint to your state?s Board on Judicial Standards. If you feel that the other attorney was unethical in his or her approach to the case, I urge you to write to your state?s Office of Lawyers Professional Responsibility.