A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're
in deep water.
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have
had a very exciting
youth
How come it takes so little time for a child who
; is afraid of the dark to
; become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they
demonstrate how many
people
a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger
than everyone else
looks?
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who
wants to buy a car
There are no new sins....the old ones just get
more publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a
wrong number at 4 AM. It
could be a right number.
No one ever says "It's only a game" when their
; team is winning.
How come we choose from just two people for
president and 50 for Miss
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will
make him wag his tail.
One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail
in life is to work so
hard
the boss will think he's after his job
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at
all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
You know you're old when you reach down to get the
; wrinkles out of your
panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any.
You've reached the age where the happy hour is a
nap.