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Robots
Review by MistoNinja

In a sentence: A bumbling, unoriginal, completely forgettable shard of cinema from the creators of the beloved Ice Age.

Merely three years after the release of the hit movie Ice Age, director Chris Wedge has released Robots. While Ice Age delighted both children and adults with its charming characters and original gags, Robots sinks to a much lower common denominator. The result is 91 minutes of dribble that aims singularly to please children and thus alienates a large portion of its potential fanbase. Simply put, Robots is a colossal failure, especially when compared to most other familiy-oriented CGI movies such as The Incredibles or its own spiritual predecessor Ice Age.

The story of Robots is particularly forgettable and derivative, though admittedly it's not without its own charm. Rodney the robot dreams of being an inventor, and it becomes clear that his dream must take him to the large metropolis outside of his small town. It is there, of course, that he learns how truly insignificant he is as he is shoved around by the city's denizens. The movie follows a predictable, entirely natural course of action as Rodney's dreams are crushed by the evil head of a major robotic upgrade corporation and his childhood hero's newfound apathy. Rodney of course meets up with a ragtag group of robots, the most interesting of which is Fender, played by Robin Williams. Even these intriguing though decidedly flat characters can do nothing to save the film's ho-hum story of evil corporations and "following your dream," and they perhaps contribute to its stale condition rather than taking away from it.

Things only get worse when the movie tries to be garner laughs from its audience. Completely insulting with a startling void of wit, Robots often resorts to fart jokes and other low forms of humor. In one particular scene, a large-rumped robot shakes the screen with her flatulence as the five-year-olds in the audience chortle with glee and everyone else contemplates leaving the theater. The humor is an unholy mess, and it continues to dig itself deeper into comedic oblivian as the movie progresses. During the film's climax, in a complete act of disregard for all things decent, Fender destroys a group of assaulting robots by gyrating his hips to Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time." It boggles the mind how Robots urinates over the grave of its exhalted ancestor, Ice Age.

Even in the dark nest of its festering misery, Robots does allow a single ray of sunshine to burst through. Its visuals stand out as an ecclesiastical beacon in Hell, offering perhaps the finest eye candy that the CGI-family-movie has seen yet. They trump even the recent efforts of The Incredibles or Shrek 2, conveying brilliantly the vibrant world of Robots. Still, unless you're a graphics guru, this is no reason to pay the price of admission for this jumbled mess.

In summation, don't go near Robots unless you're under six-years-old. It will claw through your flesh, grab your heart, and squeeze all of its juices out. And then it will defecate on you.




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