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Raven Symone's "Mystify" Review
by MistoNinja

In this album, entitled, “This is My Time,” Raven Symone proves to us just how the pop world has deteriorated. Raven Symone is like a one-woman "Destiny's Child," or she at least attempts to be. Her lyrics are repetitive and centered on a woman having trouble with her enigmatic man-toy. Similarly to "Destiny's Child," the screeching repetitive lyrics dig their vicious little noises into the annals of your brain, relentlessly ripping at your cerebrum until it pulsates in anguish. Unlike "Destiny's Child," however, there isn't the frothing need to satiate your pop-thirst with further hearings. Raven Symone's "Backflip," is hardly as satisfying as "Say My Name," or "Survivor," from "Destiny's Child."

Bubblegum music is supposed to serve as a tasty diversion until your jaw gets numb from the chewing and dull flavor. This music, however, is like rancid meat: a reminder of a good cash-cow gone wrong. Raven Symone would've been a better contribution to the bubbly pop scene in the late 1990s when the idols she so mercilessly plagiarizes were at their prime. Instead, she jumps on the bandwagon a few years too late when even her core audience of giggly pre-teen girls are finding their needs better fulfilled by the edgier and simply better Beyonce or Britney Spears.

Like a struggling student, Raven Symone's work is strained and ambiguous: her lyrics are lackluster, angst-filled, and meaningless while the musical accompaniment accentuates the sheer awfulness of it all. In one particular line from the song, "Backflip," Raven Symone lays it down as follows, "I wanna see you backflip, cartwheel, show me that you really do feel everything you say that you do." There you have it, folks: the next time anyone doubts you, just bust out a somersault to show that you mean what you say. Raven’s frequent attempts to transcend genres all end in disaster, the end result being 13 tracks of boring songs that all sound quite similar.

To make matters worse, Raven Symone's voice is clearly manufactured to become yet another product of the corporate pop scene. She is merely the newest vassal to carry money from the audience to the company. This vassal is so bad at her job, however, that she’ll be hard pressed to find any sort of fan base to throw money at her. The first song on the album, called "Mystify," is a cacophony of jittery vocals and irritating pulses of "music." I listened to this song a couple of times, and on the second the CD started skipping, creating its own unique blend of sadistic beats. It was really hard to tell that the CD was skipping, however, because the song itself was essentially the same irritating noises over and over again.

Suffice it to say, I can't even recommend this album to the most hardcore pop fans. If you're seeking cliché-ridden music and lyrics, there are hundreds of other pop singers out there that are perfectly willing to be worshipped. While such singers as Britney Spears define our generation’s popular music, Raven Symone simply defines “Abysmal.” If you’re a fan of pop, you should continue to listen to whatever the charts are dictating. Should her music continue the way it does now, you’ll never see Raven Symone anywhere near them.

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