Micky (Rubbing his cold hands): Boy is cold out there.
Davy: Yeah it's so cold I can't feel me hat on me head.
Micky: Davy, you don't *have* a hat on your head.
Davy: Oh; maybe that's why me hair has ice on it.
Peter (Noticing right away what Mike was doing): Hey! What are you doing Mike? It's only the day after Christmas and…
Mike: And their aint no sense in keepin' all this stuff up. It just causes more dust and I don't want to be the one to clean it.
Micky: But I thought we were going to leave it up until the first of January because Amber is supposed to be coming either tonight or tomorrow. (Mike looked at Micky and stopped taking down the tree)
Mike: What did you say?
Micky: I said that *Amber* is coming here to visit tonight or tomorrow; didn't you know this?
Mike: No and it would have been nice if someone had told me this before I took all this stuff down.
Davy: That's okay mate. I'm sure she won't mind lookin' at a bare tree. (The other three Monkees laughed but Mike didn't find it funny) Peter, I thought you were s'posed to tell Mike that Amber was coming.
Peter: Oh yeah! Mike, Amber's coming tonight or tomorrow.
Mike: Oh hardy, har-har Peter!
Peter: It's not my fault y'know? Micky knows not to leave me in charge of the message dove. (They looked at him) Well Micky told me to send Mike a message. And when people send out messages, they send them by birds. (Micky, Davy and Mike rolled their eyes)
Davy: You're hopeless y'know?
Peter (Dimply grin): Thanks!
Mike: Okay, well, if Amber is coming to visit then we will just have to get in gear and put this tree back up.
Davy: You do it mate. I'm going out with a girl.
Micky: Is that anything new? You go out with a girl every day.
Davy: Not so; I didn't go out with one yesterday.
Peter: Yeah then who was the girl in the Christmas box?
Davy: Hey she sent herself to me. I didn't do that.
Mike: What'd you do with her anyway?
Davy: I sent her home to me ex-brother-in-law. (They laughed)
Mike: Oh well. I guess if the tree aint up, she's not going to care. After all, she's not here to see the tree.
Micky: Then you didn't get the other part of Peter's message he was supposed to send you. (Just then a dove came flying through the window with a message attached to the leg) Cute Peter! Didn't you know you were supposed to use a pigeon?
Peter: The man that sold me the dove said they deliver a lot faster.
Davy: Then I'd be asking for me money back mate. He took you.
Peter: He didn't take me; I'm standing right here.
Davy: Did your mum, by chance, ever drop you when you were a baby?
Peter: How'd you know?
Davy: Lucky guess.
Mike (Reading the message): "Amber is coming to visit two days after Christmas and she said she can't wait to see the Christmas ornaments on the tree." Terrific! How'm I gonna put this tree back together? Once you take the tree down, it can't go back up and we aint got money for another one.
Micky: Why don't ya just be honest with her man? She sounds like an understanding person.
Mike: Yeah maybe you're right. Help me get this thing outside will ya?
Micky: Okay. (Micky and Mike took the three and threw it out the door – landing on the landlord's head without them knowing it; wiping his hands) Well, I'll bet Peter also forgot to tell you that we have a gig to do. (A pigeon flew through the window and landed on Mike's arm) Well, at least you got the bird right.
Peter: That one was free.
Mike (Reading the paper): PS: I forgot to tell you that we got a gig the night after Christmas at the Dinner Inn Resort. (Another bird flew through the window – it was a raven)
Micky: Peter, how many birds did you buy?
Peter: The raven was half price.
Mike (Reading it): PSS: You owe me $10 for these messages. (To Mike) $10..?!
Peter: Did you think I was returning them?
Mike: Oh no you don't! If Mr. Babbit comes in here and finds these birds we're in a lot of trouble. (There was an angry pound at the door)
Landlord's Voice: Open this door!
Mike: We're in trouble. (To Micky) Get these birds to fly away! (Micky took the three birds to the window but they wouldn't fly away. They just began to attract more)
Mike (Opening the door and seeing Mr. Babbit covered in pine): Good eve…day Mr. Babbit. How was your Christmas.
Mr. Babbit: Fine thank you. (In an angry voice) What is the meaning of this? I just got hit by a pine tree!
Mike: Well you see, sir, the tree just kind of…
Davy: It fell down from the ledge and we, ah…
Peter: And Mike and Micky tried to rescue it but it just…well it just kept falling and…(He heard bird noises)
Mr. Babbit: Is that birds I hear in here?
Peter: Birds..? No we're The Monkees.
Mike: Quiet Peter. Well you see sir, Micky is doing an experiment.
Mr. Babbit (Easing up): An experiment? What *kind* of experiment? Do I get to be involved? How much does it pay?
Mike: Well you see, sir, you don't get anything because the birds… well they flew the coupe. (Mr. Babbit just looked at them)
Mr. Babbit: Why can't I just have normal tenants like other landlords do?
Davy: Maybe cos you're not normal? (Mr. Babbit just glared at Davy) Ooop!
Mr. Babbit: I'll let you go for now; but if anymore funny business…
Peter: You mean Monkee business.
Mr. Babbit: No I mean `funny' business. And if anymore monkee buz…I mean funny bones…oh never mind! (Mr. Babbit leaves abruptly and The Monkees sighed in relief) It's times like these I wish I had a home in Florida. (Mr. Babbit goes to his own place and Micky comes back in with bird stuff all over him)
Micky (Not impressed): Peter? Next time you run into a man that wants to sell you birds, tell him *he* can fly the coupe! (The others laughed and Micky just angrily went to the bathroom to clean up)
Chapter 2
Krista's Stories
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