Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
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4:10 am - test 
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testt
current mood:  awake
current music: test
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Comments: [judge me].
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4:07 am - today
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well today i chilled with stacy the whole day.. she came over, yeah thats all.. later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood:  aggravated
current music: a static lullaby - a song for a broken heart
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Comments: hypocrit - [judge me].
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Monday, July 7th, 2003
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12:31 am - rebelion
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im bored and tired.. im on the phone with bessie its like fucking 12:30.. im going to lay down soon cause im so bored, well yeah.. later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood:  bored
current music: the used - noise and kisses
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Comments: [judge me].
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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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3:27 am - random thing i wrote..
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my eyes are burning from the pain you caused
i never thought it would go this far
i never thought things would be this difficult
i never thought you could be my worst enemy
but i was mistaken..
drastically wrong
now i pay the price of sarrow
day after day
until i rise again.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: annoyed
current music: mudvayne - goodbye
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Comments: [judge me].
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3:00 am - pissed off.
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im tired of this fucking bullshit.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: fucking pissed the fuck off
current music: finch - ender
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Comments: [judge me].
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1:12 am - something i wrote..
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i wonder why i even try..
i trace these lines of suicide
im screaming on the inside
im lost in cosmic oblivion
continue dreaming cause..
hopes are realitys
and realitys are lies
round and round we go
back to where you start
and then you find yourself
you find yourself with the same feeling
the same familiar feeling
the feeling of nothing.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood:  blank
current music: the used - the taste of ink
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Comments: [judge me].
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Tuesday, July 1st, 2003
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3:03 pm - awesome finch site..
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\\ [roLLie]
current mood: bored
current music: mudvayne - death blooms
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Comments: [judge me].
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2:03 am - bordum..
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eh, im bored.. its like 2 in the morning.. everyones like sleeping except for kris, well yeah i just got off the phone with natalie, ill probably just go downstairs in a little and watch tv till like 5 or whenever i get tired or what not. well yeah im sort of hungry too, so im going to make food then probably just stay downstairs, well thats all.. later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood:  curious
current music: the used - poetic tragedy
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Comments: [judge me].
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Monday, June 30th, 2003
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12:26 am - eh
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eh, some stupid crap happened today.. but what you going to do.. shit happens, i maybe getting sued for something i didnt fully do, oh well.. like i said, shit happens.. im going to rest.. later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: pissed off
current music: the used - buried myself alive
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Comments: [judge me].
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Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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3:12 pm - woah..
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woah, well yeah.. im tired.. what an extreme night at kris' lol.. ok so yeah we chilled at kris' during the day.. katrina was there, blah blah blah.. and then at night jordan couldnt sleep over kris' for some dumb reason so i just slept over.. and randomly at 3:48 in the morning he decides that were walking to beewees, so here we are.. in the fucking middle of mountain ave at 4 in the morning walking to beewees.. eh, we chilled outside her house from like 4:10 to like 5:40.. eh it was better then sitting home.. when we got back to kris' it was around 6.. then we went to sleep and yeah.. now im home.. what an extreme journey, well yeah.. thats all, later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: pissed off
current music: thursday - cross out the eyes
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Comments: [judge me].
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Thursday, June 26th, 2003
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1:21 am - something i wrote.
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sitting here..
looking for inspiration
inspiration for these
for these feelings
reasons
reasons for this pain
pain
the pain caused by you
you
the one who took this from me
me
the lost sympothetic soul
soul
what im missing
missing
what i need
need
the wanting of something
something
what i will never be
be
to symbolize
symbolize
to repressent
repressent
a waste
decay
hate
pain
kill
repeat
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: bored
current music: jack off jill - nazi halo
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Comments: [judge me].
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12:51 am - fuck.
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eh, i dont even know whats going on anymore.. things are so fucked up, everything is wrong i really wish things were different.. theres so many problems right now and i hate getting dragged into them, i have a feeling now that my summer may suck if this continues.. i wish things could go back to the way they used to be, you know if this concerns you or not, and if it does i am sorry.. for ever opening my mouth about anything that doesnt concern me.. possitive or negative, its non of my bussiness.. and im sorry, things are very different now.. honestly im frightened about losing some friends.. i dont know what it is, im starting to feel depressed again ; [, eh. oh well i shouldnt be whining things could be worse.. but i mean ive waited for the summer for the longest time and that its finally here i fucking feel miserable, and next year will fucking suck i mean i only made a few friends at my new school, which fucking sucks, everyone in my schools a fag except for the few i talk to.. but two of them are leaving next year, and they were cool.. they helped make the year go by faster by making each day more fun and crap.. next year will fucking suck i hope i things change around there, but i get to leave in 9th grade, blah ; \ ..on top of all this i dont feel well, plus my dad is bitching at me for this gay crap thats not my fault, sometimes i wish i was understood more, and listened to.. instead of being told just to fuck off.. everything seems to be crashing down and i dont want this right now.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: depressed
current music: jack off jill - fear of death
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Comments: [judge me].
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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
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12:08 am - stupid thing i wrote.
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doesnt make much sence, but yeah..
lost in a glimpse of your iris
the world around me seems oblivious to these feelings i feel today
spinning round and round
a basket of fire and hate
cut off my air, cut off my circulation
kill me now, ive already stopped living.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: aggravated
current music: the used - just a little
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Comments: [judge me].
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Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
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11:49 pm - psh, advertise as if i care.
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Fallen Star Ego: whered you go?
NAtabOoFAboLOus: driving around towns and stopped at houses, and a diner near my house
NAtabOoFAboLOus: draankk and smoke
NAtabOoFAboLOus: im straight though
NAtabOoFAboLOus: baby if you give it to me
NAtabOoFAboLOus: ill give it to you
ok, i asked "WHERED YOU GO?" not what you did.. oh yes.. i went out DRINKING AND SMOKING, cause that makes me a better person, definitally.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: annoyed
current music: madison - how can i run
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Comments: [judge me].
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10:45 pm - update
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eh i made it so that friends only can post replies cause fags like matt steiner and zack marshall are replying saying stupid nonsencicle things and being to afriad to leave their name, so yeah.. i may just remove the commenting all together.
current mood: tired
current music: korn - make me bad (remix)
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Comments: [judge me].
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Monday, June 23rd, 2003
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1:16 pm - update.
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i dont really update this anymore, its beginning to become pointless.. im just too lazy, oh well when something "exciting" happens ill update, later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: bored
current music: the used - noise and kisses
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Comments: [judge me].
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Friday, June 20th, 2003
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3:41 pm - last night.
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last night was one fucked up night, thats all that needs to be said on that matter.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: bored
current music: disturbed - violence fetish
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Comments: [judge me].
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Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
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10:50 pm - UPDATE UPDATE
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ashley wanted me to update so here i go, well today was fun i guess.. i woke up around 12.. got showered and dressed went down by daves picked up kris jordan and chin, dropped chin off at his house then went to kris' with jordan. then we chilled for a while, soon andrey and ashley came over kris'.. so then we walked to guitar center, then came back, got pizza.. chilled in kris' room, the usual. then we all went home, blah.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood:  blah
current music: finch - what it is to burn
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Comments: hypocrits - [judge me].
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Sunday, June 15th, 2003
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4:19 pm - My Favorite Song..
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A Static Lullaby - Withered.
where did summer go?
left me to wonder when the bottle will tap out.
and the sun will arise.
i woke up yesterday with a hole in my chest...(yet i feel no pain)
numb to all feeling (life in winters chill)
to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless (when you wake up its gone)
when you wake up it all starts again.
i learned to break yesterday.
destroy tomorrow.
i've watched each leaf fall off my tree.
i've watched the seasons change.
why step aside when you fall back in place? why?
Oh misery is so beautiful... i need this.
current mood:  hyper
current music: a static lullaby - withered
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Comments: hypocrit - [judge me].
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Thursday, June 12th, 2003
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9:47 am - Misery is so beautiful.
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im tired and bored.. i just woke up its like 9:50.. eh, summer has finally come.. it sure doesnt feel like it though, oh well it will soon. but yeah, today im probably going to just lay around, talk to natalie when she gets home, and probably go down to daves and meet up with andrey and ashley, kris told me he cant go for some stupid reason, well yeah. thats all for now, later.
\\ [roLLie]
current mood: tired
current music: a static lullaby - withered
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Comments: [judge me].
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