A. To get to the other side of course!
InStAlLiNg CaRpet
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
DoG PrOpErTy RuLeS
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
ThE JoB InTeRvIeW
A man enters a employers office with his resume'. The boss looks at the resume' with asthosishment. This man was well qualified. So the employer decided to ask him some simple questions and then hire him. The emploryer ask the man "How many days of the week start with the letter t?". The man answerd "Two.". The employer was shocked! How could such a qualified man be so idiotic? The emploryer asked "How do you come by that answer?". The man simply replied "today and tomorrow.". The employer was shocked at his cleverness and decided to give the man a another test. The employer ask "How many seconds are there in a year?". The man thought for a second and then answerd "twelve". The employer gazed at him with out saying a word. The man then said "The second of January, the Second of Febuary, The second of april, and so on.". The employer was very impressed now. He decided to ask on last question. The employer asked "Ok, how many d's are in dixe?". The loocked shocked. He suddenly yelled "oh, my god I don't know!". Screaming, he ran out of the office. The employer stood there to shocked to move. About a week later the man burst through the door and exsclaimed "I have the answer. It took me a full week of no sleep or food but there are 836 d's in dixe!". The employer still shocked from the mans sudden burtsting in mutter "How are there 836 d's in dixe?". The man then answerd "You know, de de de deee de de de". (just in case you dont know dixie is a song and the man counted the d sound the the song 836 times)
