THE BOOK!!! Version 3.0

THE BOOK, IN IT'S THIRD INCARNATION BEGINNING 3/5/03

"Anal sex is anal sex, but pooping in someone's mouth, that's pooping in someone's mouth" -Wilhem O.

"Am I going to bomb Iraq? ...Suppooooseably" -Jessica R.

"Well, I don't know any guys who usually eat vagina-shaped fruits and vegetables" -Matt S.

"She could be trisexual; she does have a plant in her room." -Matt S.

"I want to be a shit demon when I grow up." -Will B.

"We should start a war on Iraq with Jenni's bra!" -Kendall W.

"The man is fucking Rain Man on speed." -Jae E.

"Disney's a crack whore." -Jenni D.

"Even if your penis was made of vaginas, I wouldn't spoon with you." -Wilhem O.

"I would have to call myself the Great Satan and start suicide bombing body parts. An internal jihad." -Chris D.

"But you know me; I'm too much of an overthinker to let my life be ruled by the desires of my twat." -Jae E.

"You know how some people march to the beat of a different drummer? Well she makes her own drums... out of wheat." -Sarah T.

"It's like an inch... erect. Flaccid it's a vagina." -Leamann V.

"Yeah, if I was hot like that, Lord knows I'd be skanky." -Jessica R.

"I'd fuck Santa Claus if I thought it would get me the part. And Mrs. Claus. And all the elves." -Holly R.

"OK fine, I'll just go conform." -Lillian B.

"It's so freakin' hard to handle. You just wanna put a muzzle on her and send her to some third world country." -Jonah P.

"Just because you're a vegetarian doesn't mean you can't believe in Christ." -Will B.

"I feel bad exploiting my Saviour just to get free sopapillas" -Wes B.

"His last name is Park- like the fun place to go, only he's not." -Kristi A.

"Dost thou want my cock in thy cunt?" -Rory R.

"Chris stuck his penis in my pocket today." -Rachel M.

"Once you go seraphim you never go back" -Chris V.

"You don't want to watch TV, you want to put your penis in my vagina." -Jennifer M.

"The best way to smuggle drugs is in a dog's ass." -Brian C.

"Don't bogart the hymnal!" -Jennifer R.

"There are some things my nose and my uterus shouldn't have in common, like having semen in them." -Chrysta N.

"Is Peter Pan gonna have to slap a bitch?" -Jenna N.

"I can make cum shoot out my eye, like a horned toad." -Marc C.

"If I were a man, I'd write my name on a wall. If you were a woman, you'd hang ornaments from your clitoris." -Jenna N.

"What's Deb going to do tonight? Same thing she does every night: try to take over a penis." -Lindsay H.

"OK, it's time for crack-lite." -Mary H.

"There's just something wacky about a stick figure with a nutsack." -Jaron K.

"I mean, Mandy's bad enough, but Patinkin just puts the pink frosting on the fruitcake." -Mike T.

"I still love you like the metrosexual brother that hits on me when he's drunk I never had." -Fran W.

"Da da da da da pole-in-the-ass we'll do a little dance." -Tashina R.

"She's dead, she's not competition!" -Eric C.

"A rose by any other name would still be fucking hot!" -Fran W.

"This can of snuff has the same birthday as my grandma!" -Riley S.

"Yes. I pulled out my sorority handbook and turned to 'what to do about a dying squirrel'". -Tricia P.