The idea of writing a journal is femininity, i prefer Daily Report. heheh, at least it imply some discipline.The day haven't end yet, but hey what the heck, i feel like writing. Its been good so far. Today begin at 8;30, interrupted by the alarms I'm was still slumber when waking up. scrutinize around with my computer a little bit, then Pretend like i was study until till lunch, which is 11 'ish. I then went to the library to study for my midterm, but the library doesn't open until two hour later, at 1;00. In front of the library some government guy invited me to come in a rally with the governor, soon to be there. I pass and waited, and studied, outside while watching people protesting on Prob 57 and 58. Before the library open i called Tran so that we could study together for history. Then on the came over tran's house, i made a side stop at Michael which they had a supper sale with tons of items at half off, i also saw three varies auto accident less then 400 ft apart, a men was unconscious in one of the accident, sad but kool. Tran and i the decided that we studied better under stress, so i hitted off. I went home and eat, after that i went out and chop the Three Trunk for my folks, and Dang it was some heavy work. exhausted, but feel great, i came in my room, and here i am writing this "report".

just finish install this really cool game call Gun Bound.

Lonliness dominates you.

You can hide it well, but its there, and your friends can see it. You constantly feel alone, and need to do things to fill your time. Your afraid to tell people this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad way, and you think you screwed up everything. And when you are in love is when you are sad the most.

felt blah,

-- I was just laying at my bed and felt blah... then i start thinking which i must say.. don't ever do that.. it sucks =P... not doing that again... =T you know.. there is always dates that you just can't wait to come along the sooner the better, like turkey day and Christmas and such for good reasons right!?.. but is there ever dates that you just don't want to see ever again? i never thought of it.. til now..can't really tell you why but for me its Dec 21...seem as though i didn't wan those that day come or how bout just knock me out and wait for that day to pass, hell just go pass right thru Christmas... well then there's my birthday too haha.. don't really wanna see that day..i'm getting old and have nothing to show for it booo... ehh felt like posting before i forget I've been needing to peee for awhile now.. i guess imma do that and head to bed..

loosing touch

I'm just feeling like i don't know anything anymore... like i don't know all the coolest new music and i don't know what indie flicks are playing and i don't feel like i have anything to offer...I'm not feeling young, I'm feeling a bit inferior. maybe... under-knowledge...i don't know.

faint ( i wont be ignored )

-- I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard, handful of complaints. But I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel. But it's like no matter what I do I can't convince you to just believe this is real, so I let go; watching you turn your back like you always do face away and pretend that I'm not. But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got I can't feel the way I did before don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored time won't take this damage anymore. Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored.

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident 'Cause you don't understand. I do what I can. But sometimes I don't make sense. I am what you never want to say. But I've never had a doubt, It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you for once just to hear me out. So I let go. Watching you Turn your back like you always do face away and pretend that I'm not. But I'll be here 'Cause you're all that I got. I can't feel the way I did before. Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored. Time won't take this damage anymore. Don't turn your back on me... I won't be ignored. No. Hear me out now

You're gonna listen to me Like it or not. Right now. Hear me out now .You're going to listen to me. Like it or not. Right now. I can't feel. The way I did before. Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored . I can't feel. The way I did before. Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored. Time won't take. This damage anymore. Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored. I can't feel. Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored. Time won't take Don't turn your back on me.

I won't be ignored.

black

black is my favorite color, would you like to know why, you see it seems, as i have been told, black is the last thing you see when you die, the brain cells get adjusted then and even if you were good, you don't see white or purple or red, like you thought you should, i think i want to be dead. You maybe see red when you slit your wrists, or purple when you fall on your head, but all those don't matter because you see black when your dead.

bulls

-- another Community Relation test i have to dodge *sigh. like every other good day of mine, tons of notes and lecture. -- i was pretty stress out about the citation i got this morning. yeah, dam it, another one, that's another point for record. well at least i know its an infraction.. No liberty of mine is at risk. I asked my professor and he told me look up in the California Vehicle Code, the dam ticket going cost me 381 dollars. urrrgg..... I'll definitely going to court this time, by my choice, to attempt getting point reduce in return for Traffic school. I pick up some pretty good material and defense while look up the code, I Have my Rights, and i'm going to defense it, first gotta make it reasonable and presentable ^ ^

-- Tranniiee was in there while everything happen, duh,, she car poor with me.. she seem calm and fine with it... i felt kind of weir about tat. But we made some joke about the cop and laugh it off. it didnt work, i still felt like "i wanna scream" Everything is pretty calm now, its another ticket. another bad karma. i just have to drive more carefully from know on. only whish for today is that i will get Point Reduce and Traffic School..