Journey into the Lifestyle
I am a Daddy Dom
I have come to learn that of Myself. That revelation has come not by assuming that role, but by discovering that that is who I am.
I LOVE My girl. My love is like that of a father for his daughter, wanting her to have the best….to be the best….to be happy….to have what she needs in life….to guide her to make the right decisions…..to nurture her….to be there for her….to understand her….to support her. When you add to that the aspect of Dominance and submission….the sexuality of a man and a woman who share a special relationship, you have a Daddy Dom and His baby girl.
I am always there for My girl. I want to protect her always. I seek her presence by My side all the time. I give her all My attention. I take her by the hand and guide her and nurture her. I try to understand her….not just the words she shares with Me….but the meaning behind the words….behind her thoughts and feelings. I encourage her to think and feel, to be an independent thinker, who expresses her feelings.
She adores Me and I adore her. She is devoted to Me, as I am to her. W/we share in all things, because she knows she can trust Me in that sharing. She trusts Me above others. She listens to Me when My words give the direction she seeks. She doesn’t listen to Me when My words don’t integrate with what is her reality. Then she is encouraged to explain to Me why she hasn’t listened, because I trust her, and I encourage her thinking and feeling.
I NEED to know her thoughts and feelings always. I cannot guide and nurture her if I have no idea what it is she seeks in life. Yes….what she seeks….not what I want for her. My wants are simple….to be pleased by her….to find comfort in her….to be proud of her….to be loved by her….to know devotion from her. But she is still a person….who has wants and needs….has hopes and dreams….has thoughts and feelings. I shall guide and nurture her in all things.
She is a person first and foremost. All people need to think and feel. W/we are born with that capacity. When W/we don’t use it W/we begin to fade away from O/ourselves, and start to assume masks that others place upon U/us. But W/we are O/our own self….and must learn to live that.
she never fails Me. she can only fail herself. And when she does....I will be there to pick her up....hold her close....assure her....make her smile....and guide her on her path once more....Yes....HER path! she is precious to Me.
This is a document sent to Me by My best friend, who felt it describes Me exactly.
It is what Deep Voice (a friend) thinks a Daddy Dom is.
I have been asked several times what a Daddy Dom really is and how that differs for any other Dominate. First, I want E/everyone to know, it has NOTHING to do with incest, and it isn’t age play or any fetish for or with children .
Daddy Dom : I can only say what it means to me, others may have a different impression and there are several web pages that define it in different ways. Just do a search on Yahoo there’s plenty.
In my view a Daddy Dom is the most tender of all Dominants. He loves His little one with an undying passion. He always has his submissive’s best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his personal desires. That doesn’t mean that he gives into her every whim. There can be a huge difference in her desires and her real needs. He has to be able to make that sacrifice for her if needed. And yes, at times he does punish her. This usually hurts him just as much if not more than her, but he will always do what’s best for her.
He helps her set and reach her goals in life, not just in the lifestyle. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for HIM but for her ! He’s not just looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person in general.
He becomes many things in her life, a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, AND… a lover! He offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance. He is consistent in his actions so that she knows what to expect from him, she knows she can depend on him!
He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world. But knowing all along that he can’t ! SO … it is up to him to prepare her for whatever life may through her way and be there to comfort her when things go wrong. Knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed or frighten by the harshness of life. The Daddy Dom will listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly or childish they may sound to him, to her they are real and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons so to speak and he is her “Knight in Shining Armor”.
The Daddy Dom hears all her dreams, desires and all the dirty little secrets, and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him. He kisses her face and holds her close letting her know she is loved no matter what. she is His little one, and he loves her unconditionally.
There is nothing more satisfying to him than to see her succeed, to watch as she grows as a person. He revels in her daily accomplishments almost as much as she does herself.
He will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it., when she feels unsure of herself he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him ... when she is scared he will be her safety net, her medium against the world if need be. She is his pride and joy … his main comfort in life … his reason for living. His pride in her shows in the tender loving way he cares for her, she is the one that puts the twinkle in his eye! Even though she is all woman, she is his little one and he is her Daddy ! Just remember … he may be a Daddy but he is still and foremost a Dom!
Does submission mean that one cannot express the power of their passion? How can someone not allow one’s passion to reveal itself? In a Dom/sub relationship, the Dom “controls” this passion and how it is released….in theory. But what male is not influenced by a look….a touch….the inflection in her words….the way she smells….how she moves.
Just like crying is supposed to be a sign of weakness or lack of control….I suspect many feel they are weak if they allow such things to influence them. But in a well established relationship between two people….that understand the nature of their relationship and the boundaries jointly set….why not succumb to her seductions. There is immense pleasure in knowing you can touch someone that deeply….to watch as they become lost in the passion….and finally release. What greater feeling there is then to be acknowledged that Yes!!…your touching arouses Me….your seductiveness is powerful and beautiful. In a shared atmosphere of love and caring….there is trust and a knowledge of each others wants and needs and cravings. In that atmosphere we come to understand each other….and grow powerfully in the expression of both our needs. It is human nature to seduce another….to be empowered to do that….and be confirmed that Yes….I recognize your passion and beauty….and it touches Me….arouses Me…..deeply. For the most part, it simply feels wonderful….it confirms our humanness.
On one hand it does impart “control” to the seducer. But if we don’t allow someone to touch us that way, then what does that say about us? I think we fail ourselves if we don’t cry when the pain within gets to be too much. I think we fail ourselves as well if we are afraid to allow another person to seduce us. Look at someone trying to seduce another. Their body….their very essence….radiates this part of themselves….this seduction passionate being. To stifle that is like saying….you are not seductive….you are not attractive in that way. And again….look at the one seducing. They are alive in their desire to stimulate your senses….to make you feel good. And in seduction, there is the sheer pleasure of being able to give pleasure….the way you want to….and be acknowledged for the gift you give. What a beautiful gift to give.
I love seduction. There is something magical about it….being able to reach within another person and touch those “hidden” passions….and bring them out…..to watch them grow in their desires….to take them on this journey….with the ultimate destination being release of all the sexual tensions you have built up in them….that you have so cleverly discovered within them. And in that final release….you have accomplished the task you set out to do. We all feel amazing when we decide to do something and get it done. When it involves the seduction and sexual pleasure of another….and ultimately our own pleasure….there is immense satisfaction.
Where is the “power” in indicating that someone might not be good or capable or sensual in their gift of seduction? There is such power in seduction….and immense beauty in the gift of it. In the act of seduction, the seducer gives the greatest gift….speaking loudly to whom she seduces….that they are desirable….that their passion is craved. Like a child who brings home the drawing for parental approval….the seductive submissive seeks approval in her ability to please. What better way to acknowledge that then being seduced by her. The ever increasing pleasure resulting in uncontrolled release signifies to her that her gift is beautiful….wanted….craved. It is like saying….”good girl”….and how she will glow with satisfaction in her gift of pleasure.
Do we not suffer enough?
A simple question that will meet with many retorts. I feel many misinterpret what punishment is and what it is for. We exist in a world that has order. In nature….everything has it’s place. You do or die. There are rules that creatures live by in order to survive. There are boundaries in place to keep nature in place….unlike the many science fiction movies that try to explore what it would be like when one of those boundaries is removed.
As children, we are born into this world as fragile helpless creatures. We depend on our parents to help us….to guide us….to give us a framework in which to grow up in. That framework needs to be solid. It needs to be consistent and real. It needs to be achievable. And it needs to be based on a loving and caring foundation, that seeks to nurture and carefully guide a child to finding themselves in this world.
Many times the framework is lacking. Many times it is based on not love, but a need to control or manipulate. Many times it is meant to fail.
A cornerstone of this framework is the knowledge that if something is done that doesn’t fit into the framework, there will be consequences. Again, there is a need for the consequences to be fair, to be based on love and caring, to be a guide back into the framework.
I feel most of us are taught to fail. In an improperly set framework, we learn to fail. We fall into the trap of constantly seeking out ways to fail. We are taught that we are failures. We are hard on ourselves. And often end up punishing ourselves in negative thoughts and self deprecation. So….do we not suffer enough?
We need to heal. We need to nurture that part of ourselves that seeks approval….that child within us. Punishment is a dangerous weapon to wield. If one already feels badly for doing something….and is told they are bad in the act of punishment….how will they ever learn of approval. How will they ever come to heal….to the nurturing of that child inside.
As adults, we are capable of thinking. But many of us have wounds upon our hearts and souls, and we feel before we think. It makes sense to think that being told “you are a bad girl” or “you will NOT do this or that” is an acceptable form of punishment in the lifestyle. Whatever is agreed to between two people is what will be done. But I caution those who would simply say words without thought of repercussions. People need to hear that they are good. They need to be acknowledged for who they are. They need nurturing and caring and love. People thrive on that. And those in “control” need to speak their own reality. If one does something that makes Me feel a certain way, then they are not a “bad girl”, but rather, “what you did made Me feel angry…let’s talk about it”. In saying that, reality is spoken, and most certainly the other is going to feel badly for what has transpired. But as adults, you discuss the issues, not play the “game”. And in discussion, you hopefully come to understand each other more. And in understanding comes a deeper intimacy.
Be aware! We all too often simply do acts that have become a part of our make-up, without any thought to why we do it. We go through life in an unconscious state, never really knowing why it is we do the things we do, let alone why another person acts or reacts the way they do. One of the hardest challenges in life is to be aware of oneself, and to slowly let go of the harmful patterns that erode the foundation of our very being.
So learn to care….learn to love….learn to understand….learn to be aware.
Suffer no more!
W/we all know what Love is….right?
I know some of U/us are exposed to a distorted sense of Love, with conditions attached, and impending failure lurking around the corner at all times.
How can someone fail in Love? Love is all encompassing. When you truly Love someone, it can never fail. Love transcends all things. It reaches deep within and caresses every aspect of O/our being. And there are no expectations….no conditions attached. I simply Love you, and want the best for you.
So what does Love have to do with the lifestyle?
Love embodies all the “traditional” adjectives that describe what each of U/us seeks in the lifestyle;
All the keywords that apply to the lifestyle, are branches of the tree of Love.
A lifestyle relationship is exactly that, a relationship. What better way to find fulfillment then being bound in Love. There is completeness in being in Love. When the relationship involves D/s and/or BDSM, then it will enhance the experience of each O/other many times over. There is pleasure in giving, and in Love W/we give to each O/other. She seeks to give Me pleasure in things she does, and receives pleasure in doing so. I seek to protect and nurture and praise her, and receive pleasure in doing so. How beautiful the interaction of two souls dancing gracefully in Love’s embrace.
W/we are O/one….in Life….in Love….forever!
Love never fails.
What is life without it?
W/we are blessed with the capacity for passion. That word illicits many different concepts in each of U/us. For many it’s about sexuality. And Yes…..sex can be passionate. But so can a book or movie. So can running a race with the desire to win. So can painting or sculpting or writing or many artistic avenues. So can simply laying in a field and taking in the warmth of the sun....the touch of the tall grasses....the fragrance of the world around you. And what about music....the language of passion for many.
Passion is NOT about sex. Passion is passion. It’s a deep all consuming fire that embraces U/us totally. W/we get lost in passion. W/we find wholeness in passion. W/we find refuge from the world in passion. W/we find O/ourselves. And what greater passion is there….than that which lies within U/us. Each of U/us tastes passion differently….in music…..in loving…..in children….in cooking…..in a pet…..in a lover. W/we are as unique as each snowflake that graces the earth in it’s cold blanket. W/we are as diverse as life itself.
And passion binds all of U/us. But as children….W/we are often taught that passion is a “bad” thing. What is bad about enjoying life? Take life and run with it. Inhale your own passion. Own it and breathe it. Embrace it and love it. Building a model train or arranging flowers…..or enjoying a good debate…..or flirting with another soul.
The list is endless. In this….the list is endless. Passion is passion. It drives U/us. It makes U/us feel good. It is the substance of life that carries U/us beyond….into new worlds….into new life.
Touch it. Don’t be afraid of it. Lose the programming that you have inherited from those who have touched you. You are you. Take time to find….you!
What comes to mind when you hear the word suffer?
Someone in pain? In agony?
Someone knowing Loss? Knowing emotional confusion and hardship?
A word brings to mind/heart different things for different people. But suffering is something we allow to touch our lives. In many cases the suffering is physical or stress based. It can be dealt with by eliminating the source of the pain or stress. A lot of suffering is emotionally based. It can be dealt with by eliminating the source as well. But emotional pain and stress is often attached to many other emotions and stresses, and can often lead to physical ailments. Everything is connected.
So why do we suffer?
It’s a part of our humanness.
But we carry far too much suffering within each of us.
Physical pain is just that – pain! Pain is an indicator that there is something wrong or abnormal happening with our body. Our focus should be on what is wrong and finding the source, then fixing it. Simple words, but pain can be a major distraction for most of us. And we suffer with it.
We lose someone close to us….dear to us….someone we love and cherish. We suffer. Unless we have a strong faith, we don’t know where they have gone, whether lost in this world or “gone to a better place”. There is despair in the loss. We hold on to what was, unable to let go, to move on. There is often blame or guilt at what was or what wasn’t. And yet the one that is gone, doesn’t care. They’re gone.
We suffer. We are human in our suffering. But we suffer too much. We need to accept that pain is a part of our lives. We need to accept that loss is part of our lives. We need to suffer, but then find healing and move on with life. Pain and suffering are hard teachers. And lessons must be learned. When we ignore what is being taught, we continue to suffer. We need to open our eyes and hearts to the suffering, and not get lost in it, but embrace it for what it is, a tool for learning. We grow in our suffering. We become whole and well after we suffer. We look at life with new eyes or hearts. Life goes on.
It takes far more strength and courage to find ourselves in the depths of despair and suffering. But we ARE there. And we ALL have the strength and courage within us. Sometimes we need a helping hand, loving encouragement, kind words, something to help us wake up to ourselves and get “back on track”. It can be an event, a friend, a lover, a sibling, a stranger. A stranger can become a friend. A friend can become a lover. When we bare ourselves to someone on such a personal level, and find their hand still extended to us, it is hard not to be touched deeply.
Life awaits us. In suffering and in love, we find ourselves. They are two ends of a spectrum, but often are needed together to know the true depths of each.