Last summer i think it was that i emerged from Lidl - a supermarket in Paignton, clutched my head and screamed to the winds WHY?????? This seemed to startle a lot of shoppers who were visiting my sphere of obervation as they rushed by with thier shopping, screaming babies, rushing to continue thier lives as two legged ants on this shrinking, ill and dying planet, robbing the soon to be corpse of this planet, and every race of living being living therin, of every vestage of anything!

That was the only way i could express how i felt! I mean, why????

This is not "why" as in the "why?" that some little trendie asks you when no you dont think the boy two doors down has a perfect arse, and she cannot comprehend how, after she has talked about nothing else for the past 5 weeks, you are no longer even slighly enthralled by the conversation, this is "WHY" as in "why are we here, what good does our species do" etc...



A guy in a web article (I Cut Off The Head Of Yukio Mishima) asked a question "do you see any similarity between death by seppuku in the 12th Century [Japan] and death today by overwork"?

It has long puzzled me as to why suicide is "wrong". Okay its better to live and learn about life and complete your incarnation naturally, but sometimes the world gets too much. When you are a person of reasonable intelligence and you want a life that is more than packing nappies in a factory 10 hours a day. Okay that earns you money and money is the thing that gives you the facility to do something fun but by the time you have worked all day in a dead end job, come home, to have family members going on and on at you about trivial things, and then you get a 2 week holiday off work thats ruined by somthing else, then you loose the job, go to the jobcentre and end up on social secutiry and even if you have a triple PHD you end up cleaning toilets in a mental asylum or some equally dead end job.. Why indeed is suicide wrong for you, if thats your only escape from a dreary life that you cant improve? Its your decision! Its the ultimate protest against the modern world.

Seppuku was a bit different, the samurai tended to bump themselves off for other reasons - to remove dishonour, protest against some Lord's desicion, to avoid capture etc, etc,etc. Well it was imposed on them by thier culture rather as our modern society forces people who cannot cope with the mindless life of the capitalist slave, to also consider suicide. So yeah, there is a similarity, as in, that in whatever way, culture enforces the need for that escape.

And, considering the state of the world, i think the fact we are taught that suicide is actually WRONG, is an infringement of our human rights to free choice.



It has happened to us all. several times a week. You have a massive half empty rucksack/ handbag/ carrier bag and you go in a shop to buy something as small as a pen, or eraser. Without even asking, the checkout girl reaches for a GIANT plastic carrier bag, that will carry somehting several hundred times the size of the eraser you are paying for. You say, stirred by a faint thought of world resources "i do not want a bag thank you" She totally ignores you. You say louder and slightly crosser "I DO NOT NEED A BAG" and she gets all in a huff. If you feel that this person is truly a brain dead capitalist slave that has lost its access to reason, you may feel the need to explain " I have room in this bag i have already, and an extra bag would waste the Earths resources" or you take your eraser and stamp out - the whole encounter raiseing the levels of bad energy in the city as the checkout girl fumes that you didnt want a plastic bag with unartistic capitlaist logo on the side, and you fume that her shop is bad for the enviroment!... This was taken to another level in the martial arts section of JJB Sports in Llanelli, Wales, when i went to buy a new gi for Aikido in summer 2002. I had a empty (except for my phone and purse) rucksack, and obviuosly i saw no point in accepting a bag when the gi would fit neatly in my rucksack. However i was informed i would not be allowed to take the gi, which i had just paid for, out of the shop unless it was in one of thier logoed plastic bags!!!!!!!!!! Well in the end coz i really needed the gi, i had to accept the bag. I stopped at the post office after on my way back to Burry Port whre i was staying, and bought a stamp, and mailed the bag back to them - heeeeeeheee. I am well aware of the reason that they try to make us have these bags - they are trying to use yu as a walking advert. The fact that carrier bags take up an inordinate amount of landfill room doesnt matter. Only money, only money..


WHY ARE MEN ATTRACTED BY MINISKIRTS? (and why they wouldnt be if they knew..)

I am celibate, by choice. and I wear miniskirts in summer. A contradiction according to a man. He sees you in a miniskirt, and thinks that you are available just cos he can see more of your upper leg area close to the reproductive area. You wanna know why i wear miniskirts? I get heatstroke in summer and i like to get a suntan, so i wear as few clothes as possible, for my health. I do not like tight jeans or weirdly shaped skirts that restrict movement anyway. You know why? Coz if a guy gets too romantically intentioned, or thinks he is gonna mug me i wanna be able to knee him in the nuts! A miniskirt facilitates easy movement and the uncushioned application of a bony knee to a soft area.



I get frequently ranted at about the biological fact that i am a girl somehow meaning that my intellect should be resticted to teddy bears, Sanrio (Hello Kitty is one of the most nauseating inventions on the planet, i love live feline cats but NOT faceless plastic pink ones with girlie dresses on) Winnie The Pooh, and stuff for entertainment. I get told that i am not respectable wearing miniskirts or my "Angel Of Death" T Shirt- i look like a prostitute apparantly- and that i need to be simple, and "nice". These people also rant against pornography. In a word they like to imagine themselves as nice respectable conformist ladies. Okay so a well brought up Christian girl who doesnt do drugs and booze and porn, and dresses modestly, is wildly addicted to Hello Kitty. Did you know that you can buy cute little pink Hello Kitty vibrators, edible underwear and Sanrio themed sex toys? Oh very resepctable! And how about Winnie The Pooh? Poo is a term for the brown stuff we excrete from the opposite end to our mouths! PHULEEEZE!



I pondered this observing a group of skinheads cavorting at the seafront swimming pool the other day. They were having great fun chucking in large rocks. After a while they began to complain to each other of the sun's heat, and sunburn and the beginnings of sunstroke. They got out sunhats, but had to leave the beach thru the sunshines intensity. I couldnt help thinking, if they had left thier hair on, thier hair would have acted as a natural sunhat, meaning they could stay longer at the beach.... So, shaving your head is bad for your health. I am not very aware of the indepth aspects of skinhead ritual, or where they first decided to shave thier heads, but i have also wondered if there is a more sinister reason for head-shaving. Could it be they have a secret fear of being scalped and consider that if they remove thier hair they remove temptation?



I was in a shop a few months ago and was ranting with a friend - we were talking about honour. Not as in medals but personal honour. This elderly bloke in the queue turned to us and said "Bullshit, honour is a pack of nonsense, get real" He then proceeded to nick a pack of mints when the shop assistant couldnt see. I find that if you mention to someone that you have a sense of honour they freak at you, and usually laugh in your face. In a culture like that, no wonder its everyday to be a liar and cheat. You get laughed at for being anything else.



"You cant walk across college reception before 8am in case you slip on the carpet" ranted the caretaker to me in my first year at Plymouth. "how would that harm me" i asked. "If you slip and break something, you might sue us" he said. I responded by jumping on a chair and going a high breakfall onto his precious carpet - and ended up marched to the Principals office. All i had wanted to do was come in and get on with my coursework. In my second year at Plymouth i climbed the tree outside in fancy dress , fell out of the tree and dislocated a shoulder. Technically i could sue them for letting me climb the tree , not having a large sign there that climbing the tree could result in injury, but i didnt, coz i reckon it was my desision to climb the tree. I upset them when i did my health and safety exam, (oh yes, i have my certificate in Health And Safety, only coz i was forced, along with my classmates, to do it). I said that even wrapping us all up in cotton wool and not letting us do anything would injure us, we might suffocate on the cotton wool, we would have circulation problems from not doing anything that might result in heart attacks, etc, etc, etc... They only try to instil fear in us from doing anything interetsing that might expand our minds.





I rennounce unquestioning membership of the modern world.