Drunken Pranks

When you hear a knock at the door at 3 in the morning, what do you do? Answer the door to see who it is? Tell them to 'fuck off' through the letterbox? Or just ignore them because it might be be a fucking junkie wanting to steal your CD player? Well, when i opened the door, at 3 in the morning, all i got was a very drunk Shaun. Being the nice guy i am, instead of chucking his ass into the street where it belongs, i felt sorry for the guy and invited him in. After telling me stories of him diving in and out of fights, battling with monsters and such alike, he started to dance, and oh yes, i had to have a photo of that...

So after his little 'frisky' dance, he began yet more stories about him and his drunken adventures through lands of fogotten and times of past. After almost boring me to tears over the space of 2 hours, he decided to make camp for the night, he strolled upstairs and got into my bed. Now, not trying to be mean, i grabbed him by his ear and dragged his sorry ass out of my bed. So then he moved into the next bed. After about half an hour of tidying his mess up, i too thought it was time to go to bed. When i finally dragged my drunken ass up 3 flights of stairs, i crawled into bed, only to the sound of Shaun's 'heavy breathing'. "Bollocks to that" i thought, so i decided to get my revenge on him. I crept downstairs into the bathroom and looked in the cupboard to see what 'treats' were in store for Shaun!!

Razors, Tampons, Toothpaste, Laxatives, All good fun for revenge, but i was in a kind mood, so i walked out of the bathroom with a cheeky grin, and a bottle of shaving cream. I crept upstairs back into the pitch black bedroom. All was quiet, all was dark and i was on a mission. I walked over towards the drunken fool all snug in bed, but alas, it was too dark to even see see my own hand. Maybe it was all the alcohol in my blood, or maybe my brain had failed for a few seconds, but, whatever was to blame, i made a stupid mistake, and swithced the light on. A sudden 'ruffle' of bed sheets and the occasional swear word followed. I thought my plan was ruined, so i stood there, frozen with anticipation, and waited. After a short while, i heard his 'heavy breathing', so i knew it was safe to continue. I swiped the camera off the desk, and walked, slowly and quietly towards where he lay. I knew i only had a matter of seconds to spray him with the shaving foam, and take a photo, but i was ready. I moved the camera up against my eye, so i could see what i was doing, then with my other hand, sprayed the shaving foam towards his face. He woke up with the loud 'squirting' noise...

My revenge went to plan. I had made a fool of Shaun, yet again!