welcome I don't know how you found me, but now that you're here you may as well stay a while. Watch out for flying monkeys and ravenous toasters, but otherwise just try to feel at-home. Touch my Amaretto, and you die.

Just as a general warning: the first person who complains about the design and/or graphics of this site, calling it cheap or crappily done or some other such, shall be flogged, hung by their underwear from a tree, and their picture pasted on the site to make an example of them. Point is, it was done this way on purpose, people! Ever heard of artistic expression? Apparently not.

a classic rundown The usual cliche at this point on a homepage is to either tell you a little something about me, or about the site's content, or both. I'm lazy so I'll just pick one or the other... Hmm... Tosses dart. Okay, content it is.

There's really not much to tell: the site is divided into a sprinkling of sections, each with a fairly obvious purpose. But for those of you who need babysitters despite being in your twenties, I'll list the sections and give little peek-inside descriptions. Ooooh, how special and unique. Not.

This one takes you back here. I mean duh.

A page with some general stats and whatnot about yours truly. Nothing special here, move along.

I write poetry, I post poetry, you read poetry. Its just poetry.

I'm a spiritual sort – believe it or not – and so I thought I'd keep a page devoted to that side of me. How sweet. Ridicule me and I will punch you. Hard.

I like to play role-playing games. Why? You tell me. Maybe for the escape of wearing a persona that's not my own. Maybe for the challenge of developing a great character. Maybe its just blooming fun and you're reading way too much Freudian psych into it, you freaknut.

There, now you should know your way around. Or at least enough so that I shouldn't have to hear about it everytime you bump into a wall... Ever heard of the left-hand trick? Use it. If not, you're just stupid, you know that? I can't be expected to teach you everything.

Take your time. Hurry up. Don't be late. The choice is yours.

All hail Nirvana!