1. You refer to any place outside of Grosse Pointe as "the ghetto."
2. You are (or were) involved in at least 2 sports every year you were in high school.
3. You think that the entire world closes at 6pm.
4. The Village is a hot spot.
5. The teachers are (were) afraid of being sued by your parents.
6. You actually want to move back here when you're older.
7. You remember the Harvard Grille when it was Big Boys.
8. At least 1/4th of your closet is khaki.
9. You (or someone in your family) owns a sport utility vehicle.
10. You LOVE Dave Mathews Band, Phish, or Led Zeppelin.
11. You have a job that you really don't need.
12. You have stepped foot into the Yacht Club.
13. The houses on Lakeshore Drive are "OK."
14. You know the names of at least 3 cops in your city.
15. You actually care about the North/South rivalry.
16. You park wherever you damn well please.
17. The War Memorial is important to you.
18. You only go to Detroit for drugs, to test the off road capability of your Jeep, or to spit on poor people.
19. You have more money then you really need.
20. You now spell point like this (P-o-i-n-t-e).
21. You can name all the different Grosse Pointe's.
22. You think the Hill serves a purpose.
23. You know the difference between Jefferson and Lakeshore Drive.
24. You complain if the sidewalks have not been plowed.
25. You have a nifty recycling bin.
26. You've been to Coney more than once in a day.
27. You can pronounce Charlevoix, Provencal, Cadieux, and Bon Secours.
28. You can' t pronounce Goethe.
29. Guys: You've worn a Blue Blazer to school...frequently.
30. Girls: You're not impressed when a guy wears a Blue Blazer to school.
31. You've gotten lost in the Woods.
32. You don't think it's that weird to have four names for the same
street.
33. You've had your park pass punched and gotten really pissed about it.
34. You still think the fireworks at Parcells are awesome (and I do).
35. You know a Berschback.
36. You own a Golden Retriever.
37. You know someone who crashed their first Jeep.
38. That person had a backup car.
39. You know someone who didn't go to U of M because Ann Arbor is "too close."
40. You're still adjusting to the changes at Jacobson's.
41. And Krogers.
42. You think the Farm's Pier has a beach.
43. You know someone who's name ends in a roman numeral.
44. You're really careful about speeding and parking meters in the
Woods.
45. You know what Christmas lights are supposed to look like.
46. You're not sure how buses work.
47. Travel time is a significant consideration when planning a night at the movies.
48. You know you can find people on IM when you come home at ___ AM.
49. You drive through GP, see a flock of Canadian geese on the side of the road, and act like it's nothing.
50. There are people who you enjoy telling that you are from GP, and others you hope don't find out.
51. Mommy and daddy bought you that Jeep (the one you crashed) and didn't think twice about replacing the car.
52. Everyone knows what age range a party is by the type of cars parked outside the house...Jeep, Explorer, Mustang, etc.
53. You were embarrassed to tell people in your college classes that you were from Grosse Pointe.
54. You can tell all the details about the "Sex Scandal that Rocked the Pointes."
55. You knew Dan Granger personally.
56. You get paid more than $5 an hour to baby-sit.
57. Your sole purpose for going into Detroit was to get alcohol.
58. You know about the Ashland bump.
59. You lock your car doors when leaving Grosse Pointe.
60. You belong to one or more private clubs...Lochmoor, CCD, DGC, DAC, etc.
61. You know what those abbreviations stand for.
62. You dress up to go to Somerset.
63. You refuse to shop at Eastland.
64. You don't think twice about buying an $80 pair of pants or a $40 shirt from Abercrombie.
65. You know there is an Abercrombie for kids.
66. Your family has more cars then it does legal drivers.
67. You never have to work, Mommy and Daddy take care of your monetary needs.
68. Your parents drive something that is half the price of your house.
69. You have a maid, or cleaning lady.
70. You ship out your laundry.
71. Your backyard includes a tennis court, pool, Jacuzzi or other means of relaxation.
72. You know where the "cabbage patch" is.
73. Every other girl you see is wearing the same new shirt from the Gap.
74. You were born in either St. Johns, Cottage or Bon Secours.
75. You have two or more siblings.
76. J-Crew knows your credit card number by heart.
77. Your grandparents are buried here.
78. You don't know what it is like to have a snow day.
79. You frequently take limos to school dances.
80. You know how to drive through the streets of Grosse Pointe to avoid stopping at the lights.
81. You know the names of all the middle schools and where they all are.
82. It matters to you which middle school someone went to.
83. You are a guy and own a white college hat that says "Cocks" or "Hookers."
84. You got your orthodontia done by either Dr. Gebeck or Dr. Dunlap
85. You know that there are two Dr. Gebecks.
86. You are partial to either Einsteins or Brueggers, but not both.
87. You own Oakley sunglasses and a Fossil watch.
88. Your favorite jewelry store is Tiffanys.
89. You know that The Country Inn is Mafia run.
90. You know a Tocco, and you know not to mess with them.
91. You can't remember all of your principals names if you went to South.
92. You went to football games to get drunk.
92. You went to dances to get drunk.
96. You have either egged or toilet papered someone's house for fun on the weekend.
97. You know that a guys favorite pastime is to play video games.
98. You own a sailboat.
99. When you turn 19, Canada becomes the new hot spot.
100. You frequently eat at restaurants downtown Detroit because they don't card you.
101. You know and own things from Ahee Jewelers.
102. You are friends with one or more Ahee's.
103. You went to "J.A."
104. You drove a moped when you turned 15.
105. You enjoy late night trips to Meijers to harass the employees.
106. You are accustomed to see Jaguars, BMW's, Mercedes, Vettes, Porsches, and the like cruising the neighborhood.
107. You know where on Mack you can and can't speed.
108. You know about "late start" Wednesdays.
109. You had open campus for lunch.
110. You have one or more credit cards (and you're under the age of 18).
111. You have a pager/ cell phone before you enter high school.
112. You hid your pager/cell phone while at school.
113. You know there is no speed limit in Detroit.
114. Your house costs twice what it would in any other town.
115. You have a friend that attends Harvard.
116. You've bought sports shoes that cost over $100 and thought nothing of it.
117. Mom and Dad hand over money whenever you ask for it.
118. You have a personalized license plate.
119. You make sure that all your clothing have "Abercrombie" written largely, so everyone can know where you shop.
120. You buy a new outfit for every occasion.
121. 16 = car, no questions asked.
122. You always travel first class.
123. You have been to another country (and no, Canada doesn't count)
124. When you walk through the village, you know who everybody is, even though you may not say hi.
125. You buy hiking clothes and equipment, with absolutely no intention of using them for their intended purpose
126. You blast Kid Rock from your white jeep, in hopes it will make you seem more "bad."
127. Dave Matthews Band...the band of choice for every Grosse Pointer
128. You actually have someone drive up your driveway and take away your trash and deliver your mail.
129. A vacuum? That's what the maid uses, isn't it?
130. Your family refer to themselves as "old money" and Bloomfield Hills as "new money"
131. You cruise Grotto to make fun of the "dirty rat balls"
132. With all the off-road driving you have to do in Grosse Pointe, you have to buy an off road package on your Wrangler.
133. The word gross now has an "e"
134. You know the answer to the joke: what do you ca! ll a bugger on the tip of a pin?
135. You know that there are eight Frank Mabry's and you know which one is which.
136. You played on a Neighborhood Club team.
137. You actually waited 12 years for a boat slip at the park.
138. You use "There's nothing to do in Grosse Pointe" as an excuse to drink yourself half blind.
139. Your parents didn't mind that you drank yourself half blind (and chances are they were home and blind drunk when you had a "few" friends over).
140. You know (and have a deep abiding respect for) Officer Dewey, even if he does have a comb-over.
141. You remember Bike Safety Day in elementary school. Note: Officer Dewey was there.
142. You got pissed when you couldn't go to Coney after 11:00 because of the Detroit curfew.
143. The greeters at Meijer recognize you (and immediately call
security).
144. You lived next door to one of your classmates, yet you both drove yourselves to school (and then had the nerve to bitch about not finding a parking space).
145. You don't blink an eye when you see a woman in a fur coat walking her dog.
146. You drink Coke, not Pepsi.
147. You refer to Pepsi as being "ghetto."
148. You don't like Lochmoor because it's "new money."
149. Not one piece of furniture in your home is from Art Van. I don't even think he would put that crap in his house.
150. Your house is remodeled regardless of whether or not it needs to be done.
151. Your dog's name is Murphy.
152. AP has sentimental meaning for you.
153. You've learned it's better to just leave the hippies alone.
154. You have pictures of yourself and your friends getting drunk,
passed out, getting on each other, etc.
155. You put them in an album.
156. You know that there are 5 Grosse Pointes, but that they are merely referred to as "Grosse Pointe."
157. You know that Grosse Pointe Blank really only had about 11 seconds of Grosse Pointe in it.
158. You aren't shocked when famous athletes move to GP (Steve Y. and Cecil F.).
159. You know the approximate values of almost all the property and houses....many of which are in the million + range.
160. What surprises you even less than the fact that women walk "Murphy" in their fur coats is the fact that they put the plastic bag of shit in their pockets---yes, the fur coat pocket.
161. Every person known to man (well, at least Grosse Pointe man) has at one point ran or rode their bikes along Lakeshore.
162. You know exactly when the speed limit 35 mph doesn't
apply...right across the magic Alter St. sign.
163. You remember the Woods theater.
164. You aren't surprised when people get Jeeps or convertibles for their 16th birthday....its expected, and you have one too.
165. Sailboats or any boats are a necessity for surviving the summer
166. You know that Grosse Pointe South High school was built in 1928, and that it was originally Grosse Pointe High until the class of 1969.
167. Ordering a prom dress from France, a designer, or expensive boutique isn't out of ordinary...in fact its customary
168. You know who Clyde is.
169. You were, or knew someone who was, on Channel 4's "Run To The Sun".
170. You refer to Eastland as East Africa
171. You know if there's more than one cop car on Lakeshore it's because they've pulled over a black person and need back-up solely for that reason.
172. You know what the Cook Road 'cook-out' was all about.
173. You know the Fords. Personally.
174. If you went to North, the majority of your friends are Daegos. If you went to South, the majority are pot heads.
175. Until you were 5 or 6 you thought only black squirrels
(squiggers) existed.
176. Now you know that other colors exist, you consider them 'ghetto'.
177. You wear your hat the GP way-up in the air, like your nose.
178. You had acquired a taste for the finer alcohols by age 13.
179. You know that the Mafia is alive and doing quite well.
180. You know that they own Maxine's.
181. You've been to AP, Connor, or Lakewood for one reason and one reason only.
182. You waited 4 years for Toga Day, and then skipped at least part of it.
183. You know what 'Buddha Specials' are, and not to have more than two if you expect to wake up the next morning.
184. They know you at Tiffany's by name and zip code.
185. You think you're better than everyone else. Because, let's face it, you are.
