"Hey BA - we heard you're back to your usual a-whole self -
Were you really cutting leashes at The Shores and at one of the other kook breaks where you surf?"
Absolutely!
I figger that about 10% of the surfers at The Shores are competent surfers.
These guys [and girls] know how to swim, how to avoid crashes and they use their leash as a bonafide piece of surfing equipment - used to save them from a long swim in if the surf is big and the rip is goin' half way to the Cortez Bank.
I figger that about 50% of the surfers at Black's and Wind**Sea are competent - depending upon the conditions.
What this means - at least in my opinion - that most of the surfboards in the water are tied to the leg of a kook, or even worse, an idiot.
This mass of kook-dumb idiots use the leash like I used my crutches when my legs or ankles have been broken.
I couldn't get around [walk] without 'em.
The majority of surfers in the water - notice how I've gone from The Shores / Wind**Sea / Black's to - all surfers everywhere - use their leash as a crutch - and not as a piece of surfing equipment.
I bet that if only competent surfers were allowed to use a leash [if they chose to] and that one had to prove water and wave knowledge [gained by swimming - body surfing after one's board] before they were allowed to use a leash - what a wonderful world it would be!
The leash would then become - I think -
"Dude aren't you WAY too efffffing old to be able to still think?"
a tool, to be used as designed - ??? - for safety and ding prevention.
Imagine - going surfing where everyone in the water knew how to hold on to their board, how [and why] to paddle AROUND THE BREAK, how [and why] you gotta take it on the head sometimes if you're caught inside -
Yeah baby - It would be like Christmas everyday for BA!!
"So A-Whole, why were you cutting leashes?
Why didn't you get punched - or maybe you did - you still got last week's shiner!"
It's easy my children - I have a bunch of $10 bills in the pocket of my Wind**Sea Surf Club trunks. I ask the cuttee if I give him ten bucks, will he allow me to cut his leash - only so he can prove his waterman's skills.
So far - a couple have taken the bait - they went in after their first wipe-out - the rest simply paddled-in 'cause apparently I challenged their manhood.
After all - I am the ALPHA MALE in the water - just kidding!!
So kids - if you see me in the water - and you think you can surf without your tether / crutch - and you want to earn a quick 10 bucks - I've got my leash cutting tool in my pocket - it's sharp and ready to cut [leashes]!
Later -
BA