Welcome to a Day With BA
Enjoy Your Surfing In La Jolla, California?
Now Go Home!
Dec 06, 2003
Scot Cherry at Dog-Boy's - 06 Dec 03
"Hey BA - we heard you hacked at least 200 GOOD SURFERS today at Green Rocks and Polluted Point Reef."
Not quite that many, but probably more than I have in the last 30 years or so.
Hamburgers had more than 20 guys out, Desperados - more than 30, Green Rocks - at least 40, and Polluted Point - at least 25.
Let's see: 20 plus 30 plus 40 plus 25 equals A LOT!
Upon further examination:
Each prime surf spot had about 5 or 6 competent surfers in the line-up, now that my children, is a total that even I can calculate, as long as I'm allowed to use my fingers and toes for adding-up the numbers -
But -
"******'' - BA - Get to the Censored point - are you drooling in your Oatmeal yet?"
My first, second, third and fourth hacks, in MY OPINION were excusable -
"**%$**@@ - BA - you are sounding more and more like a Shores Guy - are you a HOMO too?"
We've had this discussion before - I say "HOMO" just 'cause young men like you are so HOMOPHOBIC that, to me at least - it's very funny to watch you kooks squirm when I assault your supposed masculinity!
May I continue with my excuses:
1. I have NEVER in at least 45 years of surfing the LJ Reefs, seen so many kooks in the water between theCasa Wall and the White Sands Wall
What a joke - 80% of the surfers in the water were KOOKS!!!!!
Of course, until you actually watch a guy actually ride a wave - all of the participants look about the same:
A. 18 - 30 years of age (MALE).
B. A new wetsuit.
C. A nice surfboard.
D. A SURF LEASH!!!!!
[I've got another Leash Law diatribe coming - but that's for another day]
2. It's not merely the fact that these kooks are learning to surf in a dangerous place lottsa rocks, sharks and Fire Coral, they add to an already high anxiety situation - a pretty natural one at that - when you stick 40 surfers in a line-up that is best suited for 10, or less, competent surfers.
3. Luckily today, the size of the waves kept most of the kooks out of the way, most of the time - but - not all of them, all of the time.
Why am I even trying to explain this crapola to you - "Forget it - you'll NEVER get it anyway - didn't one of your litigious parents want to sue me 'cause I yelled at you when you were gonna drop-in on Tom Ortner?"
"Bu** R**, - get to the censored point, BA!"
Okay - KOOKs - here goes -
A wave comes -
20 guys paddle for the wave -
19 attempt to catch the wave, 19 of them are paddling like little girls from Chicago - they don't have a chance in Hell to catch the wave, much less to ride it -
But -
They're out there, in the way, pulling back - getting pitched - getting caught inside and bailing their boards -
So, even though I'm paddling out, and I'm not really in the best place to take-off - I hate to see a good wave go unridden - so -
I think - "Yeah baby - I'll go!"
But I don't see the 20th guy - the one deepest in the pit - Green Merrick Board Guy - the kooks in the line-up blocked my vision, and my ear plugs blocked out any "Yo, Bro - I'm back here"
I hack him - the most flagrant hack of my career - but I try to compensate by pulling-off the best turn of my career -
The wave ends on dry reef - I turn to the guy - bigger, and at least 40 years younger than I am - "Dude - go ahead and punch me, I deserve it!"
Green Board Guy sez:
"Dude - good turn, and by the way, why should I punch you?"
I came close to choking on my dentures -
"Yo Dude - I HACKED you, so badly that I almost wanna drown myself!"
Green Board Guy -
"Don't worry - too many kooks out here - I guess you didn't hear me calling-off the 19 guys between you and me!"
That's the way the morning went - learn who's gonna go, and who's not -
Then go, or share the wave with guys who know you ain't gonna jump-off their board when the wave jacks!
I'm glad that nobody reads this crapola - otherwise I'd have to apologize to Red Board Guy, and - I hate to say it - to the hot babe that I ran over -
Anyway - to all those that I "BILL-DOZED" I'm sorry, there's always gonna be another day for you to make me the Dozed, rather than the Dozer!
I wasn't gonna say anything about Comstock's performance today but here goes:
"Dude - nice take-off on the biggest wave of the morning, you got hoots from Desperados all the way to the parking lot at The Casa Wall!"
"At least, even at your advanced age, you still take-off - instead of making excuses of why you don't take-off!!"
"See you tomorrow at The Joyas."
Later,
BA
