A few of you know, my rt has been a little hectic with my oldest son. Over the last year, many of my parenting skills have been greatly challenged. It was not easy but recently we took our son to a wonderful therapist. He is helping us understand the diagnosis of ADHD. A lack of knowledge and a misunderstanding of the disorder delayed our seeking professional help. There was much fear of his being labeled different or a problem child.
I am learning a great deal about ADHD. One thing is that this disorder is not just a medical fix up. There must be lifestyle changes in everyone's behavior and thoughts. The therapist shared a wonderful writing with the family to help us all get started. Though, it is written for teens and children it has wonderful concepts that adults can benefit from if read with an open mind. I would like to share this with all of you. Please keep in mind this was written with children in mind.
Mind Coach
Introduction
Everything starts and ends in your mind. How your mind works determines how happy you are, how successful you feel and how well you interact with other people. The patterns of your mind encourage you toward greatness or they cause you to flounder in mediocrity or worse. Learning how to focus and direct your mind is the most important ingredient of success.
Your brain works like a computer.
In many ways our brain works like a computer. When we receive negative input about ourselves we store it in our subconscious mind and we often express those messages in our negative behavior or feelings. Unless we are taught to talk back to these harmful messages, we believe them to be truth. This is a very important point. Most children and adults never challenge the thoughts that go through our head. We never even think about our own thoughts. We just believe what we think, even though the thoughts may be irrational. This leads to behavior that is based on false ideas or assumptions.
Many influences often program the thoughts by how we are spoken to. In dealing with children it's important to program their mind with positive, uplifting, hopeful words rather than critical or harsh words. This holds true with adults. Even in adulthood we can learn to change negative to positive. It is becoming critical to teach children and now adults about our thoughts. To teach them to challenge what they think, rather than just accepting thoughts blindly.
Teaching Thinking Skills
Unfortunately, when you're a child no one teaches you to think much about your thoughts or to challenge the notions that go through your head, even though your thoughts rea always with you. We do we spend so much time teaching kids about diagramming sentences and so little time teaching them how to think clearly? Most people do not understand how important thoughts are, and leave the development of thought patterns to random chance.
Did you know that thoughts have actual weight and mass? They are real! They have significant influence on every cell in your body. When a mind is burdened with many negative thoughts, it affects ones ability to learn, relate to other people and physical health. Teaching how to control and direct thoughts in a positive way will be one of the greats gifts anyone can give another.
Here are the actual step by step "positive thinking" principles that I use in my psychotherapy practice with children and teenagers. When children learn these principles, they gain more control over their feelings and their behavior. These principles will also significantly help parents as well.
Step # 1
Did you know....Every time you have a a thought your brain releases chemicals. That's how our brains work. Thoughts are real and they have a real impact on how you feel and how you behave.
Step # 2
Every time you have a mad thought, an unkind thought, a sad thought, or a cranky thought, your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel bad. Whenever you're upset, imagine that your brain releases bubbles with sad or angry faces, looking to cause problems. Think about the last time you were mad. What feelings did you have inside your body? When most kids are mad, their muscles tense, their heart beats faster, their hands start to sweat and they may even begin to feel a little dizzy. Your body reacts to every negative thought you have.
Step # 3
Every time you have a good thought, a happy thought, a hopeful thought or a kind thought your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel good. Whenever you have happy thoughts, imagine that your brain releases bubbles with glad or smiling faces, making you feel good. Think about the last time you had a really happy thought. What feelings did you have inside your body? When most kids are happy their muscles relax, their heart beats slower, their hands become dry and they breathe slower. Your body also reacts to your good thoughts.
Step # 4
Your body reacts to every thought you have. We know this from polygraphs or lie detector tests. During the lie detector test you are hooked up to some very fancy equipment that measures all your body's reactions. The test then asks you questions, like "Did you do such and such?" If you did the bad thing your body is likely to have a "stress response" and it is likely to react as stated above. Almost immediately, your body reacts to what you think, whether you say anything or not. Now the opposite is also true. If you did not do the thing they are asking you about it is likely that your body will experience a "relaxation response." Again almost immediately, your body reacts to what you think. This not only happens when you're asked about telling the truth, your body reacts to every thought you have, whether it is about school, friends, family or anything else.
Step # 5
Thoughts are very powerful. They can make your mind and your body feel good or they can make you feel bad. Every cell in your body is affected by every thought you have. That is why when people get emotionally upset, they actually develop physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches. Some people even think that people who have a lot of negative thoughts are more likely to get cancer. If you can think about good things you will feel better.
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln had periods of bad depression when he was a child and later as an adult? He even thought about killing himself and had some days when he didn't even get out of bed. In his later life, however; he learned to treat his bad feelings with laugher. He became a very good story-teller and loved to tell jokes. He learned that when He laughed, he felt better. Over a hundred years ago, people knew that thoughts were very important.
Step # 6
Unless you think about your thoughts, they are automatic or "they just happen." Since they just happen they are not always correct. Your thoughts do not always tell you the truth. Sometimes they even lie to you. You don't have to believe every thought that goes through your head. It's important to think about your thoughts to see if they help you or hurt you. Unfortunately, if you never challenge your thoughts, you just "believe them" as if they were true.
Step # 7
You can train your thoughts to be positive and hopeful, or you can just allow them to be negative and upset you. Once you learn about your thoughts you can chose to think good thoughts and feel good, or you can choose to think bad thoughts and feel lousy. That's right, it's up to you!! You can learn how to change your thoughts and you can learn to change the way you feel.
One way to learn how to change your thoughts is to notice them when they are negative and talk back to them. If you can correct negative thoughts you take away their power over you. When you have a negative thought without challenging it, your mind believes it and your body reacts to it.
Step # 8
As mentioned above, negative thoughts are mostly automatic. They "just happen." I call these bad thoughts "Automatic Negative Thoughts." ANT. Think of these negative thoughts that invade your mind like ants that bother people at a picnic. One negative thought like one ant at a picnic not a big problem. Two are three becomes more irritating. Ten or twenty negative thoughts, like ten or twenty ants at a picnic, can cause real problems.
Whenever you notice these automatic negative thoughts or ANTs, you need to crush them or they'll begin to ruin your whole day. One way to crush these ANTs is to write down the negative thought and talk back to it. For example, if you think " Other kids will laugh at me when I give my speech" write it down and then write down a positive response; "The other kids will like my speech and find it interesting." When you write down negative thoughts and talk back to them, you take way their power and help yourself feel better.
Some kids state they have trouble talking back to these negative thoughts because they feel that they are lying to themselves. Initially, they believe that the thoughts that go through their mind are true. Remember, thoughts sometimes lie to you. It's important to check them out before you just believe them.
There are 9 types of ANTs
1. All or Nothing Thinking: thoughts that are all good or all are bad.
2. "Always" Thinking: Think in words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time and everything.
3. Focusing on the Negative: only seeing the bad in every situation
4. Fortune Telling: predicting the worst possible outcome of a situation
5. Mind Reading: believing that you know what another person is thinking even though they haven't told you.
6. Thinking With Your Feelings: believing negative feelings without ever questioning them.
7. Guilt Beatings: thinking in words like "should, must, ought or have to."
8. Labeling: attaching a negative label to yourself or someone else.
9. Blame: blaming someone else for the problem you have or are facing.
Whenever you notice an ANT entering your mind, train yourself to get rid of it. In a sense you become an exterminator of bad thoughts. To do this, write down all the ANTs that go through your mind, Then identify their type. Finally, kill the ANT by talking aback to the irrational thought. When you do this exercise, you begin to take away the power of the ANTs and gain control over how you feel.
Your thoughts matter!! Train them to be positive and it will help your mind, your body and your relationships.
Midnight~ 11-11-2003 @ 7:00 AM
Member
{s~i}
Thank you for sharing this timely post of your experience with all of us on ADHD. The school year is well underway and in most schools the first marking period has come to an end. Now is a very good time to voice school concerns. Teachers usually set up conference times to meet with parents about a student’s progress. However, if this has not taken place parents should schedule a meeting to open up a frank discussion of concerns.
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) touches the lives of parents, teachers, family and friends. It is a brain disorder characterized by hyperactivity and inattention.
To make the most of your child’s right to a good education, parents must be prepared to learn as much as they can and to develop good communication with
teachers and other school system personnel. Evaluation and eligibility procedures, individualized education plans (IEP’s), and the entire process can be both confusing and frustrating. Here are a few suggestions that can help you.
1. Document the diagnosis
2. Determine if your child is eligible for special education services
3. Set up a meeting at your child’s school
4. Arrange a meeting to review your child’s IEP
5. If your child has been judged ineligible for special education, schedule a "due process hearing"
6. Work closely with your school system
7. Challenge the system to get what you feel is due, but don’t challenge the teachers and school personnel
Respectfully, Midnight~
trulyred 11-11-2003 @ 9:21 PM
Member
(sweet~intoxication},
Thank you for posting very important information. i have been working with children for over 20 years...(yikes, shows me age)...and have found that most children diagnosed with this condition have had wonderful results with medication. i know that 10-12 years ago there was much controversy over too many children being diagnosed and put on medication, but the tables have turned in recent years. The screening process is a very thorough one, which you well know of. This condition is not taken lightly by anyone, anymore. i have had several incidences over the last several years where parents refused to put their children on medication, they tried alternative methods, diet, exercise and so on. After much thought and consideration and advice from physicians, the families i speak of, had their children put on medication. One little girl who was 10 at the time was very angry with her parents for not putting her on medication sooner. She felt so much better and was able to do so much better, academically and socially. The other child, a boy, was seven when put on medication....Within a day he said to his parents that his head didn't feel so crazy anymore. Those are just two of stories that i know of personally...again thank you for posting, i am sure it will help many others out...