What do you do with Immorality?
Topic: Purity
What Do You Do With Immorality?
Jim Elliff

When the apostle Paul heard that there was immorality in the Corinthian church, he was shocked. The brand of immorality was of such a kind that the sensibilities of the pagan world would even be offended—"a man has his father's wife". But his amazement was mostly because the church tolerated it as a badge of honor. The church had so distorted the meaning of love that it was proud of its acceptance of such persons. "And you are arrogant. Ought you not rather to mourn?" exclaimed Paul.

This revealing episode in early church history, found in 1 Corinthians 5, could not be more relevant.

As Paul said, "Your boasting is not good." The idea that some associations of professing Christians actually lead out in the fight for same-sex unions, homosexuality in the priesthood, and other practices mitigating against sexual purity and the bond of marriage, would certainly evoke Paul's righteous indignation if he were alive today.

The church is not a volunteer club made up of people of any persuasion or behavior, an amorphous entity, accepting anyone who wishes to join in the fun and excitement. It is a serious society with boundaries. It is for those who have been given life from God, have confessed that change openly through baptism, and are committed to walking in obedience and repentance all the days of their lives. It is a union full of love, but not mere sentimentality. It is a love that demands holiness. (2 Tim. 1:9; Gal. 5:13; Rom. 6:1)

Paul lists some of the boundaries of a Christian fellowship in this passage. Among those the church should remove and "not associate with" are ". . . anyone who bears the name of brother [that is, a 'so-called brother'], who is guilty of sexually immorality, or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler . . ."

So what should we do when we find immorality in the church? There really cannot be any mistaking the answer:

"Let him who has done this thing be removed from among you."
"you are to deliver this man to Satan [that is, by removing him you are to leave him in the world and under Satan's control]"
"Cleanse out the old leaven."
"I am writing to you not to associate with anyone . . . who is guilty of sexual immorality, greed," etc.
"[you are] . . . not even to eat with such a one."
"Purge the evil person from among you."
In the case of such notorious sins as immorality, church discipline is to be done quickly and decisively. Why?

"Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?" is the explanation. The longer leaven (yeast) remains in a lump of dough, the more it spreads. Paul uses the Old Testament Passover feast to make his point. At that feast all leaven was to be taken out of the home since it was a symbol for sin. Paul says that the Passover Lamb has been slain (that is, Christ has been crucified). We as the church should "celebrate the feast" (that is, live out our lives to the full in Christ) without the old leaven of evil.

Paul passionately argues for the purity of the church. On the one hand we discipline because it is the best for the individual. It is really the only loving thing to do. To allow a church member to continue in sin is like allowing a child to abuse himself and his siblings without correction. But on the other hand, we discipline because God has called the church to purity.

When a chicken becomes rotten and maggot-infested, are you able to make it better by putting a fresh chicken in the same bag with it? Of course not. The infested and rotten always spoils the fresh, not the other way around. As Paul wrote in the same letter, "evil company corrupts good morals."

Have you fallen for this old Corinthian problem of boasting in indiscriminate toleration?

One pastor said, "I could never lead our church to discipline its members. There are so many immoral people among us at present that it would cause a huge conflict."

This mindset is precisely the reason why so many churches are ineffective in changing the culture and in bringing people into a lifestyle that is radically different.

_____________________________

"The Integrity of the Local Church," an extensive article on church discipline based on 1 Cor. 5, may be found at go here

The Family Altar
Topic: Purity


Establish a family altar. Build it out of unmovable rocks of resolution. Your time of family devotions should (almost) be non-negotiable. It should be priority for your whole family. Don’t be legalistic about it, but as much as you possibly can, put all other things aside before you postpone or cancel family devotions.

It will be an altar of sacrifice. You will sacrifice your time, sometimes your dignity, and your energy. For years, our kids heard, “Six o’clock…reading time.” That meant that Sue and I dropped anything we were doing, the kids did the same, and we gathered together as a family. You will find that there are many excuses for not having devotions. You may feel pressed for time, tired, or you will want to catch up on the news of the world, or perhaps you will think that you don’t have the ability to teach the Bible. There is, however, one very powerful reason why you should have daily devotions…the eternal salvation of your children.

Here now are some practical points to consider for establishing your altar:

1. Open in prayer. If you are a male, take the lead. If you are a single parent, step into the role of a confident leader. If you are not used to praying out loud, have everyone close their eyes while you pray so that they won’t see you. Begin by thanking God for your family and then simply ask Him to open His Word to each of you. As time goes by, ask one of the children to open in prayer, to build up their confidence when it comes to public prayer. It is wise to keep public prayer reasonably short.

2. Open the Bible. Don’t worry about your lack of “teaching” ability. Simply read five verses from one of the Gospels. Then have each of the family members read five verses, stopping now and then and asking what they think a particular verse means. Go through the verses beforehand and prepare some questions. Be ready for (and don’t be discouraged by) a regular “I dunno.” Tell them what you think the verse means, and carry on with the reading. Follow any cross-references.

3. Open the hearts of your children. Deliberately draw your kids out of themselves. Talk around the world. It doesn’t matter if the subject doesn’t relate directly to the reading. Let the conversation swing to what they have done that day. Let them express their desires and thoughts. Communicate with them. Show interest in their interests. This can be a time for building relationships. If you want to make life long friends of your children, start while they are young. Don’t wait until they are teenagers to do this. It may be too late.

4. Forget your inhibitions. Don’t worry about your dignity. Play act with your kids when they are small. Be Goliath, and let each of them have a turn at being David. Have them throw a cushion or something at you, and fall down when you get hit. Act out Daniel in the lion’s den. Be a lion. Roar. Play out a Bible story with them whenever you can. It will help them retain the principles behind the story. If I remember rightly, when kids hear something, they retain 30% of what’s heard. If they hear and see something, they retain 70%. But if they actually experience something (see, hear and participate in), they retain 90% (I can’t remember the exact statistics, because I only heard them). Use the time when they are young and impressionable to impress upon them biblical truths. I was deeply into play-acting until one memorable day. I was rolling around on the floor doing something incredibly funny, when I looked up and saw that none of my children were even cracking a smile. It was then that I realized that they were no longer impressed.

5. Don’t make the devotional time too long. Keep it to 10-15, perhaps 20 minutes. Have them repeat a memory verse (from the reading) together six times. Do the same verse each night during the week. If they remember it at the end of the week, give them some sort of reward (we often gave our kids a candy bar). The reward is important. We all need an incentive and a candy bar is a good incentive. Perhaps you could have them write verses they remember in a book, and review it regularly.

6. If you want to keep the attention of your children, thoroughly flavor the reading with anecdotes. An anecdote is a short story that illustrates something special. Jesus used them all the time (parables). They will make your teaching palatable. Make them short, and preferably humorous. We have plenty of these in, The Evidence Bible (Bridge-Logos Publishers).

7. Close the reading in prayer, asking God to help you and your family to remember the lessons they have learned.

Desperate To Be Free
Topic: Purity


by Randy Alcorn

Question:

I have been having an online affair with a woman I have never met. (Since my teenage years I have struggled with the sin of looking at pornography.) I am a Christian and active in my church. My wife has no idea this has been going on. I have deceived my wife, my family and my church because none of these people know my struggles. I am too ashamed to tell them. Should I confess to my family and church? Should I get rid of my computer? How can I be free from this burden? Will God forgive me? Please help. I am desperate to be free.

Answer:

By all means, confess to your wife and ask her help. Immediately and irrevocably cut off your relationship with this person online. That's a non-negotiable. If you are a follower of Christ you must do this, and do it right away. Bare your soul to your wife, confessing this and not protecting yourself by leaving out what would make you look bad.

I would advise you to get rid of your computer. That's much less radical than cutting off your hand or gouging out your eye (Matthew 5:29,30), yet it is an attempt to honor Christ's call to take radical measures to separate yourself from recurring temptation.

One other possibility is to put the computer in a living area with the screen visible to others in the room. Have your wife set up the password for internet access, not tell you that password, AND agree to not leave you alone in the room after having brought up the internet. However, if you find yourself attempting to get around this, then internet access should be cut off. If you are tempted to bring home pornographic images on disc, etc., then get rid of the computer entirely. Scripture nowhere tells us to have a computer, but it does tell us to flee from sexual temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18)...not to hang around it and just set ourselves up for falling again.

When you confess to your wife it will be painful for you both, but you MUST do this. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."

However, you need to do more than confess to your wife. You should have one or more godly men to whom you confess this and have them ask you regularly, perhaps daily at first, "How are you doing?" You must be ruthlessly honest. I would also confess to one of my pastors, and ask for his accountability too. This is humbling, of course, but in my experience no one who tries to dig out of this by himself ultimately succeeds. We need the Lord, but we need His people to help and confront and ask and stand with us.

You must develop a whole new thought pattern of godliness, meditating on Scripture and guarding yourself from the kinds of images, TV shows, movies, etc., that will take you down.

Yes, God will fully forgive you. No question. But you will face difficulties and temptations that will make change a rough road. That's why you must take radical steps and get lots of help.

I recommend the links below from our website. If you are to access them, of course, you will need your wife's assistance if you follow the counsel I'm giving. Don't use the need to access these as a rationalization for delaying confession. You need to do that as soon as possible.


Helpful Online Resources

Articles on sexual purity can found on our website at Go Here, including:

Sexual Purity: What You Need To Know and Do (designed for teenagers, their parents and youth workers): Go Here

Strategies To Keep from Falling: Go Here

Ministries that Help with Sexual Addictions:

BraveHearts: Go Here

Pure Life Ministries: Go Here

New Life Partners: Go Here(Help for wives of sexual addicts)

Pure Intimacy: Go Here

Purity Exposed: Go Here

Stone Gate Resources: Go Here

Be Broken Ministries: Go Here

Setting Captives Free: www.settingcaptivesfree.com/homeGo Here

Website Filters and/or Website Accountability Sites:

BSafe Online (internet filter): Go Here

S.A.F.E. Site: Go Here

Covenant Eyes: Go Here

X3watch: Go Here




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Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: by Randy Alcorn, Eternal Perspective Ministries, 2229 E. Burnside #23, Gresham, OR 97030, 503-663-6481, www.epm.org

Chip's Comment:Purity is what God wants from all of us and I used to be addicted to pornography. I use to use to justify it by saying that it is natural for a man to look at it but the Bible says' that if you look at another woman to lust after her you have committed adultery in your heart. We have violated God's law and it will damn us to hell. Men don't look at these pictures for no other reason than lust and that is what porn was created to do. Get real stay pure!

Escape the Trap!
Topic: Purity

If sexual temptation looked and smelled like roadkill, we wouldn’t need this site! But that’s not the way it is…sexual temptation will always confront guys who want to please God.

Escape the Trap! web site—to be a practical online reminder that God is always ready to help you resist and overcome temptation.

Read Escape the Trap on line now

Put On Some Clothes!
Topic: Purity

In an age of low-cut jeans and near-naked pop stars, Christians need to bring some sanity to the way America is dressing.

Nearly 90 million viewers turned on their televisions to watch the 38th annual Super Bowl game in February. No doubt many of them expected to see only star-studded performances by popular singers during the halftime show. What they saw in addition was a three-second glimpse of singer Janet Jackson's breast when Justin Timberlake ripped her costume at the end of their routine.
The Jackson-Timberlake debacle initiated a storm of criticism in the public arena over indecency on television. Whether the exposure was intentional or caused by a "wardrobe malfunction," as first claimed, the incident has led to bills being passed by both houses of Congress increasing fines against broadcasters that violate decency standards.

A similar storm over immodesty is brewing in the body of Christ. For many, the sensual, skimpy, low-cut, too-short, revealing clothes worn by believers is causing much alarm.

Last year, when a well-known female preacher arrived at a Pentecostal conference wearing an extremely tight dress, leaders of the group apologized to attendees and promised, "She will never preach here again." And when a young woman visited a church near Atlanta, she was surprised to find the pastor and many of the church's male leaders dressed in sexy-looking, tight muscle shirts.

"I left because I struggled with lust in the past, and I didn't want to take myself through that again," the woman explained.

One Florida pastor, frustrated about immodest dress among his congregants, confronted the problem during Sunday morning worship. "When you wear your clothes tight and too short, you're making a statement about yourself. My advice to you is, 'If you are not for sale, please take the sign down!'"

Recently, Charisma spoke with ministry leaders about the need for modesty among believers. They say churches must be willing to address the issue if Christians are to be lights that reflect the purity of Christ.

Worldly Influences

Madeline Crabb, author of a training manual for churches, titled Dressing to Please God: Clothing the Mind, Body and Spirit, is familiar with inappropriate clothing worn by believers. The author was prompted to address the issue after noticing the steady shift among Christians toward wearing revealing clothes.

"God wants women to be without excuse, and He wants Christians to know what is expected of them," Crabb, 54, told Charisma.

A licensed minister, the author has participated in or held at least 200 women's shows or workshops. During the years, she has taught women how to dress and how to conceal their flaws to look more attractive and presentable.

Her experience helped shape her core message: Modesty is humility expressed in proper dress, and anything other than that is compromise.

"The world has a hard time believing the church," Crabb says. "We use a lot of religious mumbo jumbo about how, as Christians, we have grace and freedom. And then we make statements about how the world doesn't understand us. ... The church doesn't understand the parameters God has given."

Though her message is unpopular at times, the Bloomington, Indiana, resident hopes Christians will listen.

But many believers, particularly young ones, aren't turned off by immodest dress. In fact, they are some of the worst offenders. Why? Because they are influenced by the world around them.

Today, more than ever, kids get a megadose of sexual content every time they turn on the television, according to Focus on the Family. Other research indicates that when children as young as 7, 8 and 9 watch pop divas and gangster rappers in the media they become desensitized to the message of modesty.

It isn't solely the fault of the performers. Recording companies sometimes put tremendous pressure even on Christian performing artists to compromise. Take the popular group Out of Eden, for example.

This group burst onto the music scene five albums ago, and throngs of listeners have collectively purchased more than half a million of their recordings. But according to the group's members--sisters Lisa Kimmey, Danielle Kimmey and Andrea Kimmey-Baca--some record companies won't do business with them and other singers who refuse to show lots of skin.

"Companies don't understand us not wanting to show off our bodies except to our husbands," Kimmey-Baca told Cross Rhythms magazine. "They don't understand that God has called us to be role models. ... We want to sing about sexual purity."

There are some signs that our society still appreciates modesty, however. John Stossel of ABC's 20/20 challenged fashion designers who create sexy clothes for young girls, especially 8- to 12-year-olds. Since designers already are making sexy clothing for young girls, what would they design for prostitutes, Stossel wanted to know.

But not enough people are asking that question. That's undoubtedly one reason Mother Barbara McCoo Lewis, who oversees women in more than 250 churches in Southern California for the Church of God in Christ, stresses how important it is for Christians to be models of modesty in our fallen world.

"The principles of holiness, which include modesty, must not be assumed but rather imparted in a spirit of love and patience," the Los Angeles resident explained. In an effort to help women adopt a godly lifestyle, Mother Lewis started Daughters of Ruth and Naomi, a mentorship program that mainstreams younger women into every area of ministry and encourages spiritual maturity through positive reinforcement.

"Modesty is better caught than taught!" she says.

Hemlines and the Heart

For many pastors battling immodesty in the church, the debate goes much deeper than hip-hugger jeans and belly blouses. Many of them say it's purity of heart that is most at stake. They attribute the downward turn toward unprecedented indecency to a society saturated with sexual content in every medium: music, television, advertisements and movies.

The steady dose of immodesty, research indicates, is shaping society's perception of reality and, ultimately, its spirituality. Bob Lepine, known to Christian radio listeners across the country as the co-host of the popular daily radio program FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey, says immodesty is a fast-growing problem in the body of Christ and that the church must be wise in its attempt to address it.

"This issue is a matter of the heart, not legalism," Lepine says.

Like Lepine, there are leaders who are taking their chances despite what believers might say. Pastors are teaching congregants that men and women and young girls and boys should dress in a manner reflecting Christ-likeness, not the culture. They use passages in the Bible such as 1 Timothy 2:9-10 as the standard.

"Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works" (KJV).

C.J. Mahaney of Sovereign Grace Ministries says any discussion about modesty begins with the heart, not the hemline. According to Mahaney, what a woman wears "will demonstrate that she lives with a settled resistance to the ceaseless pull of the world."

In a teaching addressing the topic, Mahaney goes on to say: "I choose to believe that most Christian women who dress immodestly are not intentionally promoting immorality. Some are no doubt failing to exercise sufficient wisdom and diligence."

The ministry offers a "heart check" for Christians to check their motives for dressing in a particular manner. Questions include:

What statements am I making with the clothes I wear?
Does my clothing satisfy me, or does it please God?
Is what I wear a reflection of the Word of God, self-control and appropriate attire, or do I identify with popular culture and worldliness in the way I dress?
What standard do I use when selecting clothing--society's standard or the Bible?


Taking the Modesty Test

When Dannah Gresh accepted the Holy Spirit's prompting to minister to teenagers, she had no idea it meant teaching girls about their "secret weapon." In her book, Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty (Moody Press), Gresh lovingly but firmly warns girls about their God-given power.

"If you're a young woman, you were born with the seed of this power planted firmly within you," Gresh writes. "This power is unique to us girls--it is your allure," she explains.

Gresh's simple yet thought-provoking message about an often misunderstood principle is disarming. When this mother of two children--Lexi, 10, and Rob, 13--took her husband's advice to address the issue of immodesty in the church and in secular settings, she quickly learned that Christians desperately need to confront the problem.

Gresh told Charisma there can be dangerous consequences for girls who wear sensual, revealing clothing. She cites organizations such as The Medical Institute for Sexual Health. According to the institute, several factors place girls at risk for future problems.

Gresh says: "One of the top five risk factors is a girl appearing older than she actually is. She does this by the way she dresses and presents herself."

The author says girls don't realize it, but they reveal their special gift from God--a gift intended solely for their husbands--when they wear clothing that accentuates curves and other parts of their bodies. She says boys who used to struggle with pornography on the Internet now face temptation when they go to youth groups because girls are dressing more provocatively.

In an effort to arm believers with the tools to live godly lives, Dannah and her husband, Bob, started Pure Freedom (www.purefreedom.org) with the purpose of "equipping men and women of all ages to live vibrant lives of purity, to experience healing from past impurity and to help couples have vibrant, godly marriages." The Greshes' message is connecting with hundreds of thousands of American youth. The couple facilitates about 25 youth conferences annually and are scheduled to train ministries in Zambia to use their curriculum to fight the AIDS pandemic.

For one girl, 16, ministries such as Pure Freedom help because they "do not place people in bondage with manmade rules that will never be embraced."

After receiving numerous requests for guidelines to help teens dress in modest fashion, Gresh developed the Truth or Bare? Modesty Test, which she uses to offer simple solutions to clothing problems. Gresh says girls can determine for themselves if clothes are modest or not.

"It's to help a girl to go through the thinking process by herself and let her heart be molded into modesty rather than face a legalistic set of rules," she says. There are seven Truth or Bare? tests, including:

Spring Valley. To determine if a shirt or a blouse is too tight, the girl should "take the tips of her fingers and press into the shirt where the ribs come together in the 'valley' in the middle of the chest." Gresh says if the shirt "springs" back when the fingers are removed, the shirt is too tight. Her solution: "Get rid of the shirt. It's not going to get bigger overnight."

Raise & Praise. If a girl wants to know if she is revealing her belly, Gresh advises her to extend her arms and hands as far as she can in a gesture of worshiping God. If the movements reveal any skin, the young lady is encouraged to purchase a "secret weapon," a ribbed T-shirt or tank top from the men's department. The tee should be worn under the shorter shirt and tucked into shorts or pants.

Mirror Image. To see if a skirt or shorts are too short, Gresh suggests sitting on the floor with legs crossed, Indian style. If too much thigh or undergarments are visible, she says, it's too short. She tells girls to go for "extremely long, extremely full but not extremely short" skirts. For shorts, she encourages girls to "keep looking" for just the right length.

Plumber's Test. Want to know if your pants are too low? In reference to the popular low-rider jeans, Gresh suggests that you sit Indian-style on the floor, bend forward as far as you can and then, "reach behind and get a feel of what might be the featured view if your jeans are too low." She tells girls, "Find a pair that won't cause viewers to blush for you."

Gresh says she offers tests to girls because she knows they don't want to intentionally lure guys. She believes it is her responsibility to teach biblical truths in a way that won't turn people off from the message and from the church.

"A lot of people just don't know that purity and modesty are reflections of the heart of God. This is not about rules that place people in bondage. I believe as Christians, the body of Christ should live and dress in such a manner that people want to get to know God."

Just Say NO to Janet

You don't have to take your style cues from Janet Jackson, MTV or legalistic saints. Here's how to make fashion sense.

DO: Wear fashionable, modest clothing. The Bible doesn't say you have to look like a prude.

DON'T: Wear form-fitting, tight clothes. By doing so you cause others to take their eyes off God to look at you.

DO: Wear clothes that complement your body type. Look for clothing stores that carry styles with your figure in mind.

DON'T: Expose flesh that should be reserved for your mate's eyes only. This means covering cleavage so you aren't tempting someone of the opposite sex. Don't let your underwear peek out of pants or tops.

DO: Wear clothes that represent your God-given sense of personal style.

DON'T: Let people convince you that it's wrong to wear certain colors. Remember, God made the rainbow!

DO: Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you select clothing that honors Him.

DON'T: Allow a church's or denomination's set of legalistic, unbiblical rules (such as "no pants" or "no short hair") create an atmosphere of spiritual bondage for you.