-Yes, it's all true. We are all in the CIA and our roadies are double agents working secretly for the canadian government. Other rumors that are also true: Eric Melvin is really a woman, and El Hefe is the president of Peru. Also our drummer Erik has pimples, and I've got a great collection of chins that I keep safely on my neck.                                                                                                      -I quit playing chess and took up drinking instead.                                                                                                      -Fat Mike ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________                                                                                                                                                                                                                -I like to have a vodka drink or two before the show, at this point in time it's the only way that I know of to clear my mind of the usual thoughts that are running through my head. I'll try to do something to warm up, like jumping up and down like a crazy person, then do a series of stretches so that my body is prepared for the abuse that is to come. If I have time still, I'll do some deep breathing and try to focus my energy so that I can scream my guts out properly. Then I pray to the powers that be that I don't fuck up too much.                                                                                                      -Once in a while I pull out my Superfuzzoticspectrophaseshiftalotarchorups, but it uses up a lot of 9 volt batteries                                                                                                      -Eric Melvin ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________                                                                                                                                                                                                                -Why as a matter of fact I listen to all kinds of music. I have recorded pop, hip hop, and other funny music. I plan on releasing some hip hop music in the year 2000. I will have a website up soon. Hopefully there will be a link off the NOFX website.                                                                                                      -If my dik was out ,i think you would see it clearly. why, you do dicks or something...                                                                                                      -EL HEFE ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________                                                                                                                                                                                                                -I've been playing drums for 19 years, god I am old! Yes I took lessons, I took flute lessons when I was 8 or 9! Thanks for asking.                                                                                                      -This is pretty fucked up: In the summer of 1989 we played Minneapolis. That night we met a cool kid, I can't remember his name, but he was all by himself at the show so we asked him if he wanted to go to a party with us. While we were inside having a good time some local skinheads decided that they didn't like this poor kid and beat him until he died! I still wonder if he would still be alive if we didn't invite him with us?                                                                                                      -SMELLY(Eric Ghint) ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________                                                                                                     -Melvin says: On one tour, we got pulled over because our roadie was driving like a maniac, which seemed normal to us, but the New York state troopers didn't like it, so they searched the van and found a police-style billy club and since the van belonged to Fat Mike, he spent the night in jail. Then there was the time we got pulled over at some checkpoint in the middle of Wyoming. They said that they were checking our lights for "Highway Safety." There was a drug dog and it started barking at the can. I pulled my bag of sticky skunk bud out of my backpack and tried to swallow it, but I missed a little nugget and they found it. They wanted to arrest me, but the DEA agent in charge, probably looking for a much bigger charge, let me post bail there on the spot and let us get to our show in Colorado Springs. Smelly says: Ya, we have all done our time in the big house. That's where me and Hefe met. We were both in Juvie and we got in a fight. The counselor thought it would be a good idea to have us work through our problems in the laundry room together. So after a couple months of checking out people's dirty ass underwear we became very close friends. Hefe says: Yea, I've been arrested for crystal meth and possession of counterfeit money. That was before I met NOFX.