In writing this, I wanted to keep it as light-hearted as the last one. So I searched my brain and my son's bookshelf for a story that would compare to the one I used in my first chat. I am reminded of the tale of the "The Little Boy Who Cried, "Wolf!" We all recall this story of the lad who liked to trick the villagers into thinking that there was a wolf among the sheep. So he would come running into town calling, "Wolf, wolf!" All the town's people would come out to kill the wolf, but there never was one and the boy would have a good laugh at their expense. Until one day there really was a wolf among his flock, but when the young boy tried to convince the villagers of this they didn't believe him and he lost his flock and learned a valuable lesson on "playing people" and respect for his elders.

Like the lad in the story, submissives are very clever people. They can and do know ways to make us as Dominants 'tick'. This is not always a bad thing, but it can be if we play into their games. They may lose interest in us as Dominants because we lack control and ultimately their respect. I am not referring to submissives as players. In fact the ones I speak of may actually one day make fantastic submissives. We as Dominants who choose to accept their gift need understand them and learn to work out some of their kinks (not the kinky kind of kinks!). Being able to recognize when a submissive is winding you up or for that matter around his or her finger is vital to our giving submissives what they long for most; control, love, etc. It is my hope that in painting these "colorful stereotypes" of submissives that we as Dominants will learn to recognize what may undermine the relationship between our subs and ourselves.

The "Fulfill-My-Fantasy" Submissive. This sub believes that Dominants are somehow super-human. They will tend to fall quickly for you (maybe offering their gift before you are ready) and look past the real person inside of you. They see you as perfect. They believe you are somehow there to fulfill their every want, need and desire in life. When you don't and when you start to show yourself as a true human being with wants and needs of your own, they see you as weak and therefore, not a Dominant. Handling this type of submissive can be difficult, as they may tend to drift from Dominant to Dominant while they slowly learn that we are not super heroes. Sometimes it may be best to let them journey on unless you are into pounding reality into their heads, a little experience under their belt will help them immensely.

The "Dominate-Me" Submissive. This sub will be lying prone at your feet before you even bat an eyeball. They somehow actually believe that because they are submissive and you are Dominant that you must want to dominate them.They have a strong need to be dominated, but in fact may actually take charge of the Dom/me from the start. You may see them at play parties asking to be tied up or what-have-you by almost any Dominant in the room. They are in an almost "frenzied" state of submission. Dominants will need to understand from the beginning the needs of this sub and yet not lose sight of their own desires as well. The pace must remain set by the Dominant and not the sub. By giving into their whims, you will never really have given them what they really want or need.

The "Dominate-Me-I-Dare-You" Submissive. Like our friendly sub above this submissive may really need to be dominated or they may actually not even be submissive at all. You can hear them saying over and over again that no Dominant is strong enough to handle them. They can be very brazen in the way they approach Dominants. Perhaps egging you into a scene at a party saying, "I don't bite." It is unlikely that this person really understands submission well. They don't tend to be very respectful in their mannerisms. They may lack tact and can even be very argumentative. It takes time to find out if this sub is really submissive or just cocky. If you have the patience to learn them well, you may overcome their strong will and they could become a very nice and highly submissive sub. Or they could just be a complete waste of anyone's time and never become submissive at all or never ever planned to be in the first place.

The "Wounded-Me" Submissive. This is a touchy topic, but quite common. This sub comes into BDSM out of a past of losses. They feed on Dominants who have an innate need to "take care" of people. They are wounded birds and very needy. They may have been abused in the past. Really they may not be ready for any type of relationship especially one as demanding as a BDSM one can be. The Dominant may find they are constantly taking care of the problems of their sub and soon realizing they themselves are being drained dry. Depending on the nature of the sub's problems, it might be best to refer them to a professional to handle some of the emotional baggage, as most Dominants are not really equipped to handle deep problematic pasts. If you want to stick it out with this sub look at your own motives for that and see if they are genuine or just feeding your own ego on being the parental type.

The "Need-To-Be-In-Control" Submissive. This sub wants submission on their own terms and yours feelings be damned. They somehow feel that submission is something they will turn on and off like a faucet when they feel things are not going their way. Suddenly you may be faced with a sub staring you down on a punishment cause they feel it is too harsh or not justified. Open and honest communication is needed with this type of submissive. They may have trust issues that they are still dealing with. Being consistent in your mannerisms will help to reassure them and maybe break down that wall they have built up.

The "Rubber-Band" Submissive. This sub changes their mind a lot. They may even change their Dominant a lot. You may have trouble following their logic, because they lack any. They don't really understand what their own needs, wants and desires are or who they are as a submissive. They may seek release for no apparent reason and then in the next breath be begging to be taken back cause they "love" you so much and need you to complete them. If you fall into this trap and keep taking them back you will soon find yourself totally "whipped" by your submissive. Best advice on this submissive is to let them go and then run fast in the other direction.

The "I'm-Perfect" Submissive. This sub is perfect. They have perfect manners and know their submission so well. In fact they are so perfect that no one can tell them anything. They may tend to pick Dominants that are "not as clever" as them so they can feel they are still the most wonderful submissive alive. This submissive lacks humility. New Dominants will have a hard time handling a sub like this, but more experienced Dominants may just be able to teach this sub a thing or two (and also about themselves) and make the sub blissfully happy and wonderfully humble.

The "Punish-Me" Submissive. They are not happy unless they are being punished or disciplined. They may intentionally try to get punished by doing things to anger their Dominant. They could be pain sluts, just brats or very masochistic. This can work out great if the Dominant enjoys spending their entire time being the sadist or disciplinarian. Mostly it just gets old after a while and hard for some Dominants to get control of. They find themselves reacting to the sub's bad behavior. This may give the sub what they perceive they need, but the Dominant may find they are just being wound up. The best course of action is probably no strong reaction or attention to these manipulating acts, but rather to give the sub something they detest, like a cleaning assignment, writing or just sitting still alone. Some Dominants find this type of 'brat play' fun and enjoy it. Remember, when it happens over and over – who is really in control?

The "I-Am-Not-Worthy" Submissive. I loath this one. If they say they are not worthy, they probably aren't. This sub is very self-deprecating. One has to wonder how worthy a gift is from someone who dislikes him or herself so much? The worst is when you have done all this work with them and you have developed what you feel is a real solid relationship, then suddenly they start giving you this; I am ugly, fat, not worthy, not a good sub, etc. What a huge insult to you and your taste in submissives! They may be masking something deeper, like their own fears of commitment. If the sub doesn't feel their gift is worthy, by all means take a pass and don't unwrap the package! Don't confuse this sub with the next one.

The "Doormat" Submissive. This sub is so meek and so mild, they just let everyone run right over them; subs, Dominants, stray dogs, you name it. They have no backbone, any strong feelings or opinions. They basically "let" things happen to them and many times the same things over and over again. They never learn from past mistakes. They take no responsibility for their lives or what occurs in them. They figure their lot in life is to be miserable, unhappy or hurting. They constantly are running to their friends about their problems and they lose many friends due to their life story reruns. Basically, they are not picky about the type of Dominant they choose, any ol' Dominant will do. And because of that they end up with a lot of Dominants who are very bad for them. If you consider yourself to be a savior type, good luck with this submissive! They may turn out to be the "I am not worthy type" above even when they find a "good" Dominant. Some people are just never happy.

Submissive egos are very gentle for the most part. The types I have illustrated above are caricatures that for better or worse, we face as Dominants from time to time. Learning to recognize them and how they may ultimately effect our relationships is vital to our success as Dominants. In order to give each submissive with whom we come in contact the right direction, we have to understand and accept their quirks as well as our own. We must seek ways to change that which we find unacceptable without breaking the spirit of the submissive that attracted us in the first place. We should learn to see when we are losing ourselves by reacting rather than guiding and what will burn us out. Like the lad who cried, "Wolf!" too many times, we must be able to detect the real needs from the not so real ones. Thereby we maintain our self-respect and the respect of our submissive.