The following page contains personal letters that I have sent to Ahmet Zappa. Me being the open, giving peson that I am, I've decided to share these letters with you. Ahmet is my dearest friend whom I tell all my secrets to. Below is the moset recent letter, all past letters will be listed in the*ARCHIVE*
First of all... HAPPY NEW YEAR my love!!! I know I haven't written in a while and you must be awfully worried but I've been incredibly busy with school and work. I'm highly dissapointed in the once again bad judgement of the "tv people" I miss webriot and gosh darn it I miss you!! When will the american public realize what a creative person you are? I know it and from all the interesting fan letters I get from people who think I'm you, I can see that you are very well liked and from an email I recieved from one girl in Washinton you could be very well licked as well.
I guess I should tell you whats been going on in my life... Well school is a major part. Unfortunately in my film class this semester, I was part of a VERY lazy group who was not in the slightest bit interested in film. There were merely there for credit and I had to look like an idiot because our film was not completely edited and it pretty much just sucked! The rest was pretty good and even though I never thought I'd get into televison I really enjoyed my TV class and could actually see myself in some aspects of televison. I directed our tv drama and I was so BAD! I mean if it weren't for the great actors and the hilarious script I would have so sucked even worse!
Now for the depressing part. On New Years Eve my estranged father was beat up and is now in a coma. I'm so cluesless on what I should do and how to act. I don't now him and he doesn't know me. The day I found out (Jan 1st) I had to go to work and try to forget but the entire time I sat there thinking I should be at the hospital. I couldn't stand being at work so I finally began to write him a letter. I wrote down everthing I've wanted to say to him and suprisingly it wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be. I wrote about 2 pages.
On January 4th, my sister and I finally went to see him in the hospital and it was the strangest experience. I mean I didn't know what to do. When I walked in and saw all of the machines hooked to him I was totally shocked. He was not the person I remember. My eyes searched the room for something that had his name on it. That would confirm that the man laying in the bed was actually him. Finally I saw his name written on a board with emergency contact numbers of people to call "in case". I ended up reading the letter I wrote to him and even though no one has told me I think he heard me.
Now all I can do is wait for an answer wait and then try to figure out what I'm suppose to do next. I have no idea how someone like me is suppose to act in this situation. I don't know my father I mean my mom and dad divorced before I was even born and I've never had a relationship with him but somehow it is truly affecting me as if I really knew my dad. I don't know what to do or what to say but thank you for letting me talk.
P.S. --- Do something please! musically, on tv, in a movie something! And quick! I need some kind of distraction.
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